Summary
In this episode Sasha and Deborah Smith share a conversation about discipleship, primarily as it pertains to children. Deb says, “It’s an important role that we’ve been give and we need to take it a little bit seriously.” Deb shares ways that we can bring our children to know and love God and His word through our own intentional actions and examples. Don’t worry, Deb doesn’t come with a check list of to do items, but encourages moms to break it down into smaller routines, keeping it simple (and fun), and then building on that.
Listen in for practical tips and examples on how Deb disciples her daughter and how her passion to bring her daughter to know the truth about God shines through her daily living.
Connect with Deb in Instagram @adashofdeb or subscribe to her podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mamas-mission/id1578231679
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Transcription
Sasha Star Robertson 0:06
Hello sisters and welcome back for another episode of the Intentional Abundant Life Podcast. I’m your host Sasha Starr Robertson, and I am here again with a special guest today. Deb Smith is a mom of one with one on the way. She is passionate about discipling her children into a loving, intimate relationship with the Lord. She is the host of Mama’s Mission, a podcast. And Deb, thank you so much for joining us today. Any more you would like to add to that introduction?
Deborah Smith 0:36
Thank you for having me, Sasha. I guess to add I’m from a little country called New Zealand, and it’s our summer at the moment so you can probably hear cicadas in the background. I don’t know that there’s really anything really to add. I mean, other than the fact that this is something that God’s put on my heart to disciple and inspire other mommas out there to disciple their kids, because I think it’s something that we know that we probably should be doing, but we’re not too sure how to navigate the whole thing. It’s sometimes a little bit overwhelming. So yeah, that’s where my heart is. And at the moment, I’m in the nesting stage, because our son is due in a couple of months. So that’s very exciting. And yeah, that’s pretty much all I have to add.
Sasha Star Robertson 1:30
That is awesome. I love it. I think it’s so incredibly important to disciple our children. And like use it to an intimate relationship with the Lord and that it’s just like, it’s like such a breath of fresh air for me because even just the other day I was having a conversation with a friend. And I feel like the world at least a lot of the times we’ve seen in a lot of instances in growing up where I’ve seen it’s just this very legalistic like religion, that a lot of parents kind of forced their children. You will do it because I said so or because this is what we do. And it really takes an intimate relationship out of it. And so I think it’s really important. And I have my own tips in my own ways of how I would encourage someone to disciple their children into this loving and intimate relationship with the Lord. But I’m curious, from your perspective, how does that look for you? And what are some of the things that you do in your life or you encourage others to do to encourage this intimate relationship versus religion?
Deborah Smith 2:38
I think you make such a good point there. I think the key thing is to just be authentic and real with your kids and walk the talk. So it’s really easy to say to them, you need to do this, you need to do that. But if you’re not doing it yourself, it’s kind of gonna fall on deaf ears. So I really think that your kids need to see you in the Word. They need to see you having a real and authentic relationship with Jesus. That’s really what it comes down to.
Sasha Star Robertson 3:13
Yeah, I agree. I think living as an example, is like the best way. In growing up, like I grew up in the Mormon church for a period of time, and it was very legalistic. Nothing in our home changed, but when we went to church we were expected to like live according to certain standards. And I know a lot of friends my husband included who was raised in the Catholic church that was very legalistic in its standards. In fact, the one he grew up in was… They like read scripture in Latin and Polish and they don’t even know what they’re saying, you know, the congregation by and large and he just remembers like the stand up, sit down, all this other stuff, and like you get married “Because,” you know, you do this “Because,” but there wasn’t really much relationship in it for either of us growing up. And I have friends that went to you know, all girls Catholic schools and, you know, there was a set of rules and and so, so much myself and my husband walked away completely from the church and religion and everything for a good chunk of our, you know, young adult, early adult life. Because of that there was no relationship and I see a lot of friends who have done that as well.
Sasha Star Robertson 4:26
And then we came to our church where we where we go here in Alaska today, and the youth and young adults that come out of that church. They truly have this like fear of the Lord and this loving, intimate relationship with Him. And so it’s a place that we definitely want to remain on account of that. But it was the first time in my life I had ever really seen that. And so I had to take this perspective of like, what’s going on here? That is so different from what I have seen, like all throughout my life, and I think it was exactly what you said, these real, authentic relationships with the Lord being lived out in front of their children. And so like you’re saying, Let your kids see you read the Bible, let your kids, you know, like, I’m bigg apologizing to my kids and like repenting to them, like even when I sin against them when I raise my voice or, or whatever it is that I’m like, convicted. Okay, that wasn’t the best for me or my kids. Like, how do we get to yes, and so, I love that. I appreciate you bringing that up. What are some other ways that you see yourself or encourage others on your podcast, maybe even, to live out this real, authentic relationship?
Deborah Smith 5:48
I think it’s just starting with the baby steps. A lot of us think that in order to disciple our kids we need to have like a library of devotions and heaps of Bibles and pray for a long time and have an intense worship session. And that’s, with little ones in particular that’s just not reality. So I think it’s really starting simple and for us, at the moment, you know, we’re getting, because our school year starts at the beginning of the year, because it’s our summer. We’ve got back into routine; so we’re establishing those routines as a family again. So it’s more keeping it really simple. So we’re just reading a piece of scripture, going through like, my daughter is now six. So she’s advanced on from more of the storybook Bible which is heaps quite heavy on pictures and illustrations. But now it’s quite text heavy but still with a few pictures here and there. And so we, we read it, it doesn’t take that long, maybe like five to 10 minutes. So we read it together as a family. And then we ask her a few questions and she can ask us any questions. And it’s amazing what she picks up that we… I totally wasn’t like listening, obviously, as well as she was.
Deborah Smith 7:12
And then we just we’ve really got into catechisms at the moment. So she really loves me quizzing her on those and we’re just going through those each night. And then we’re praying for people that are on our hearts and we just, that’s really where we’re at in the moment, just keeping it quite simple. And once that’s established, we will build on that. But I think not doing too much to start with because we can all look at these videos or posts, blog posts, or whatever, about these really amazing family times. And that’s, it’s, it could work for some people, but it’s just not reality sometimes. And I think we just get so frustrated that it’s not going the way that we think that it should that we kind of end up giving. So I think it’s just keeping it quite simple and just building once that, oh what would you call it? Once that habit is established or yeah, you just build on that.
Sasha Star Robertson 8:13
I love that. I love to that you’re basically, you brought up all these other examples, but I’m like, we don’t need a theology degree. To be able to disciple our kids. We don’t have to go through this intense discipleship program and learn how to disciple people to be able to disciple our kids nor others really it’s about having that like authentic relationship. I just, in my community, one of the ladies had shared her verse of the week that she was really like meditating on. And then yesterday it happened to be the verse of the day on my little Bible app. And it was from James and it was talking about being doers of the word, which I really love because I feel like that is, it’s taking out of the lip service and just saying you’re gonna do something, or just reading scripture, but actually doing it. And so the verse was, James 1:22-24. And it says, But be doers of the Word and not hearers only deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the Word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror, for he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets where he was like.
Sasha Star Robertson 9:44
That’s like, Man, what a perspective to think about looking in the mirror and then as soon as you look away, you forgot what you look like. And we get caught up in that if we’re, you know, reading the Word, and then as soon as we close it, or we’re praying and as soon as we say amen, and we go back to doing whatever we’re doing. Let’s be doers of the Word, but it doesn’t have to be complicated. I love that you had said, keeping it simple. And you had even mentioned about how a lot of times it’s our expectations that come into play there.
Sasha Star Robertson 10:14
I’m so grateful that you brought up you know, how your daughter’s like gone through the shift of like very picture illustrations heavy kind of Children’s Bible stories to more text-heavy, less pictures and how you take the time to read that together. There have been clients I’ve had that their Bible study, even for themselves, not even for their families, but like, it stems to that right? If we don’t feel like we’re having a close enough relationship or enough Bible time, or enough prayer time. Then we’re not setting our children up for success, or we’re not… like we have this imposter syndrome about equipping them or discipling them.
Sasha Star Robertson 10:49
And so I’ve had clients who it is their own expectations of themselves, that they have to have these big lofty Bible studies. Like you’re saying, all these devotionals or whatever else, big worship sessions, in-depth prayer sessions in order to meet some kind of mark. But really it is about keeping it simple. I had one mom that she just did her kids’ Bible lesson with them in, you know, a book like you’re talking about with your daughter, and they discussed it and they prayed over it, and then she went and read in her Bible, like that same exact passage and then prayed over it. Like just keeping it really simple. It doesn’t have to be this big, elaborate, Like, crazy thing. He just wants us to seek Him and to seek His guidance. I’m grateful that you pointed out that keeping it simple in our expectations in that.
Deborah Smith 11:42
Yeah, that’s really important.
Sasha Star Robertson 11:43
I had one guest that, I don’t know if she’s already been on the podcast or not yet. I’ve already recorded her episode though. She was talking about the importance of play. And how we really learn through play, and how she likes to incorporate faith and play together. And so it can look like both ways. She had given an example of playing with her kids just with baby dolls and then bringing in the question of Oh do you know any babies that were in the Bible? And then having a conversation about that or even doing their Bible time or something that they’ve read in the Bible, and then allowing the Holy Spirit to lead in recognizing times throughout the day where that message is relevant and can bring it back up in playtime or in, just like doing life in the car kind of a thing, and just incorporating that. So those things are just really sticking out to me, too.
Deborah Smith 12:38
Yeah, I love it. It’s awesome.
Sasha Star Robertson 12:40
Do you have any more ideas of like ways to do this or like what kind of catechisms do you use?
Deborah Smith 12:46
Well I interviewed on my podcast sometime last year, Keira from alongside them and they’ve created a resource of catechisms and it was just amazing. Because I had heard a little bit about it but didn’t really know a whole lot about it so she filled in the gaps. And it’s just something that her and her sister started up and they’ve kind of developed a product and you just build on it. So, I think the first thing is, Who created the world? God. So we build on it day by day. And it’s got some intense words in there and we unpack those words for our six-year-old. But otherwise it’s really fun. She really enjoys it. Each time, each day we do it, we build on the last one so she’s getting that constant learning by rote I suppose. It’s just knowing the basics, the foundations, and even we’re learning. Sometimes I’ll include my husband in it and I’ll ask him questions and even he’s stumped to what the answer could be.
Deborah Smith 13:52
And even me, like I’ve got the answer in front of me and I’m like oh my goodness like that’s so right. So, one last night was how does God reveal Himself to us? And we were kind of like okay. And I said there are three things: one was the word, one was creation, and one was his character. And so we have to unpack what it means to our daughter. But, yeah, it’s really awesome. She’s, I don’t know why, she’s just really loving it and it’s super easy, super simple. It doesn’t take a long time. And we kind of make a little game out of it. So, everytime she gets the answer right, she likes to hear me go like ding, ding, ding! In like a contest. I don’t know if that floats your boat, but she’s really enjoying that and it’s good for me as well because it’s going back to the basics and filling in those gaps.
Sasha Star Robertson 15:00
Yeah. I completely agree. I love that you pointed out, too, the learning alongside our children, essentially. We’re not the ultimate masters like we don’t know it all, not even close but taking that opportunity and really what we’re teaching them to learn and grow ourselves and see like what does the Lord have in this for me too? But I’m excited like as my son grows older, he’s just a toddler right now. But so many things I’m excited for him to learn because I get to learn with him. Totally unrelated, but playing the piano. I used to know how when I was a kid and I used to know how to read music and I don’t know how to do that anymore. And I thought oh well, I can learn how. But then I’m like well he’s going to be in piano lessons in a few years, and I can just go and observe and when he has practice time, I can practice with him and so it’s just fun to be able to watch our children grow in the Lord but then also see how he’s like constantly growing us as well.
Deborah Smith 16:07
I love learning from our daughter, because as I said she’s, she comes up with these questions that are way off. Like I have no idea where they came from. But sometimes she will ask me those questions that as a six-year-old, you wouldn’t really think of being asked. So what did she say to me? Were talking about Satan. I want her to know that there’s an enemy out there and he’s got intent to do us harm. So not to scare her or anything but kind of goody and baddy situation, which she is aware of. And then we talk about how, how he started and he actually was one of the head angels. He was pretty, pretty important and he… His deal was worship. So talked about that and we talked about the fall and how he really wanted a lot more than what he should’ve had. And so he took you know quite a few angels with him. And then our daughter said to me, okay, well we’re.. I said he lives, there’s a place called hell. And that’s where he dwells.
Deborah Smith 17:16
And she said to me, So does God love Satan? And I was like, Oh, my goodness, I guess He does because God is love. I mean, he is His arch-enemy but I guess He does love him. It kind of stumped me because I’d never thought of that before. I mean we all know God is love but I’ve never thought about Him loving Satan. So, yeah it just threw me a curveball and I was like I guess. Sometimes it’s been a game taking it back to authenticity. Sometimes she will ask those questions and I really don’t know. So, I’m honest with her and I’m like, Honey I actually don’t know so let’s find that out together. Which is good, because, I mean, I want her to come to me if and when she has those questions about anything. I don’t want her going to the world to find out certain answers to her questions, but I want to be real with her and actually tell her, Actually that’s one I’m not 100%sure on so let’s figure that out together.
Sasha Star Robertson 18:09
Yeah, which is huge. You’re also in that process, I think, like teaching her how to find those answers for herself, right? If she has a question. And then coming alongside her and saying, Okay let’s find this out together. And obviously, as she gets older, you know, it’ll be more equipped. I have another mom who was on the podcast recently. She has multiple boys, I think 5 boys and wanted to set out to do this discipleship and characteristics of men from Scripture. Bible study for her kids and some of them are older, like already married. And one of them’s younger, but her, I think he’s a 12-year-old, her 12-year-old has been so critical. In her writing this Bible study that was just recently released for you know, characteristics of young men and Godly men in Scripture.
Sasha Star Robertson 18:24
And so all of her boys played a role in pulling out information and all of the characteristics were ones they picked out from Bible stories that they’ve read that God really pressed on their hearts and it’s just so beautiful. That this has come to be something that is going to be able to be in the hands of, you know, moms and boys everywhere to do together. Also that in that process, her kids now know that they’re able to go to scripture and glean truth and practical life application and seek out answers for themselves. And so, I see you doing that same thing, right? I don’t know the answer. Let’s dig in and find out and so that’s a huge, huge props to you, because that’s going to be so valuable to her as she grows up as well. And then, building that trust, too, that mutual trust and you’re like, well, honestly, I don’t know but let’s figure it out. And so, it makes me think all the other times, you know, in the future, she’s going to encounter something and say, well I don’t know, let me go check with my mom because even if she doesn’t know, I’m sure she’ll help me figure it out.
Deborah Smith 20:29
Yeah, well, that’s what we want. I don’t want to pretend to be something I’m not. And I’m not the fountain of all knowledge. And a lot of the times she is coming out with these tendencies like I know that answer when she really doesn’t and I know it sounds a little stink, we don’t want a little know-it-all on our hands either. We’ve got to model it to our kids how we would like them to go.
Sasha Star Robertson 21:02
Absolutely. I like how you, you kind of brought up humility, essentially like, you want, you know that you don’t know it all, you’re not a fountain of knowledge and, but then also exemplifying that for her. That’s how we disciple our kids, too, just showing them what it’s like to live with truth. And the characteristics of a believer in modeling that out before them. So Mama’s Mission is your podcast. I know you hosted me on there a few months back. What can people expect to find on your podcast? What kind of topics do you cover or teachings do you have?
Deborah Smith 21:51
Well we really unpack what it is to disciple your kids and also how to go about it, but my main objective is to inspire mommas out there to actually give it a try. God really put it on my heart that our children are a gift and we know they are a gift, but sometimes in the busyness of life, things like discipling, even though you can do it on the go, sometimes it’s really good to get intentional about it. I think it’s really important so you’re gonna hear a whole lot about discipleship. And you’re also going to hear, I think you know, I think a lot of my target audience obviously mommas and if they choose to stay at home or not, that’s fine. But I think it’s also unpacking how to manage things in the home and in life in general to free up a bit of time because obviously, we all get busy. It’s almost like we’re glorifying busy these days. And I think we just need to peel things back a bit, make it a bit more simple. So, I don’t pretend to have it all together. So it is a lot easier for us because we’ve only got the one at the moment and I am at home. And I do live in a tiny house; it’s very small. So I don’t have to spend a whole lot of time cleaning or anything like that. Yeah, just unpacking routines and things like that to make things just a little bit easier so we can help you with discipling or whether it is to help you free up a bit of time in some way, because I think we can come up with all of these excuses as to why we can’t disciple. That was the recent one that I just recorded was how to smash out the top three excuses, I think it was, or top five excuses as to why we just don’t make the time to disciple. And even myself. I know it’s something that God’s put on my heart and it is a real passion of mine, but sometimes at the end of the day, it’s the last thing I can think of doing because I’m shattered and it’s been a big day. And sometimes you just go with it, and you don’t get to do those things. And don’t beat yourself up, but other times it’s freeing up that time. Whether you meal prepped a little bit to make sure that you will have a little time before bedtime so that you can actually sit down as a family and read a piece of the Bible together or something like that. So yeah, that’s what you’re going to hear on my podcast.
Sasha Star Robertson 24:28
I love it. Encouragement, intentionality, routines, making the time to be able to disciple our kids. Very, very cool, very powerful stuff. I think it’s definitely needed. Needed in the world, needed for moms. So thank you for doing that. I know it’s Mama’s Mission, I will drop the link to her podcast in the shownotes. And you’re on Instagram as well, you said at A Dash of Deb.
Deborah Smith 24:53
Yep, that’s right. I slowly, I took quite some time like a long break just with events that are happening in the world and I was just getting a little bit overwhelmed with everyone’s opinions and finding that it was quite a toxic space myself. So I took some time away from social media but I’ve come back slowly but surely. It’s good. I’m in a better headspace myself. So those… the opinions of others don’t really have that much of an impact on me now which is really great. I am back there.
Sasha Star Robertson 25:33
It’s definitely easy to get caught up in just so much on social media, wasting your time, keyboard what are they called? Keyboard warriors shouting their opinions from the rooftops. I think it’s definitely a space we have to be very intentional about managing our time and our expectations and how we’re feeding ourselves, whether it’s from social media or the word, very different fruits come from that. Well, awesome. Super exciting. I’ll definitely drop the links for all of that in the show notes. Last question that I always love to ask my guests before we jump off is what does intentional abundance mean to you?
Deborah Smith 26:20
That’s a good one. I think, intentional abundance. I think it’s just I don’t know, maybe this is my, because I’m a teacher by profession. Maybe this is the teacher coming out of me. But we do need to plan; we do need to have some intention in what we’re doing, even in what I was saying, you know, discipling our kids. You can totally do it on the fly. Going for a walk and, Oh wow, who made that tree? You know, God, and then it could generate some discussion which is… I’m all for that, but I think it’s also about being intentional as well and putting that time aside, freeing up time to actually get in the Word, actually praying, things like that. So I think that’s, hopefully, where we’re going to get abundance from. In a perfect world. I mean, it doesn’t always work out the way we want it to, but I’m a firm believer in not plan everything and be intentional about everything. But I think it is super important, especially with our kids in this topic that we’re talking about. We do need to get a bit intentional as well as for ourself as well when we’re having our quiet time. If we’re just picking words at random, scripture at random that we’re going to read, it could do great things for you. But I think it’s going to be a lot more abundant for you if you are actually a little bit more intentional about things.
Sasha Star Robertson 27:41
Absolutely. I couldn’t agree more. I just love hearing everyone’s responses to that. Well, awesome, Deb. Any parting words or thoughts or anything that the Lord is putting on your heart to share before we go?
Deborah Smith 28:00
I think just, that, as I said some mammas and dads out there as well, we get a bit overwhelmed in this whole concept of discipleship, even here in the word, some people cringe and don’t even know what it actually means to be honest. But I just want to encourage your listeners that you can totally do this. There is no person better to disciple your child than you and you were gifted your children for a reason. And a lot of parents I think like to think oh my child goes to a Christian school or I’ll put my child in kids church every Sunday like, they’re totally gonna become these amazing warriors for Christ. It’s not necessarily reality like as you were talking about with your church, that’s so awesome that that’s the fruit of your church, the young people, but I would probably like to say that the parents had a whole lot to do with it as well. You know, it’s, it’s an important role that we’ve been given. And we kind of need to take it a little bit seriously. Not too seriously. But take it a bit seriously, and just to encourage those listeners that you can do this. It’s not that overwhelming. Just keep it simple. Pray and ask the Lord what’s one thing that I can do? Seriously help me out here because I’m praying it all the time. I do not have this all together and sometimes it all turns to custard and I’m thinking we’re getting nowhere here. And He will always come through. This is not something that you have to do by yourself at all. This is something that He desires us to do so He’s going to make a away.
Sasha Star Robertson 29:57
Absolutely. I love that. It all turns to custard sometimes.
Deborah Smith
It does!
Sasha Star Robertson
I do not know how moms, mother, or parents, parent, without the Lord.
Deborah Smith
I know!
Sasha Star Robertson
I love that you’re like, “just keep it simple and just pray and go back to him” and so I Love love love it! I agree! you have encouraged me today and I am so grateful and I know that all the listeners are going to be encouraged as well. Some great practical tips on how we can “go and make disciples” in the very walls of our home.
Deborah Smith
oh thats awesome
Sasha Star Robertson
so thank you Deb I hope you have a wonderful day! and thank you to our listeners, I hope you all have a blessed day as well!
Intentional Momlife with Jesus 