Summary
In this episode Sasha talks about self discipline. What is it really? What does it mean when you say or think that you’re struggling with self-discipline? What could it really be?
Sasha shares about what is often behind this idea and thought of self-discipline struggles and how you can truly get to the bottom of it. Sasha knows that moms, especially those in this modern world, are showing up day in and day out giving their all (and more) to their families and homes and loved ones. But we’re often left feeling like we never did enough… looking into the lives of others through social media windows, comparing our productivity to their perceived productivity levels, and then beating ourselves up over it as if we’re not disciplined enough.
Sasha gets to the root of self-discipline and gives you step one and holds the blueprint to get you out of this mindset trap and into the land of productively peaceful days in motherhood.
Jump on a consult asap to share your heart and learn about what your life could look like January 1, 2023 after 6 months in the IAM at a price point that you literally can’t afford not to take full advantage of. This price point is only available to the first 5 ladies that jump in on it, so don’t delay because they will fly like hot cakes in a room with teenage boys in the middle of their competitive sports season. https://calendly.com/intentionalabundanceco/iamconsult
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You’re invited to join us in the Productively Peaceful Moms Club over on facebook! It’s a safe space where we can show up vulnerably and encourage each other, where ere share the mission of being the best mommas we can be through the grace and strength of Jesus Christ, where we encourage consistency and are able to hold each other accountable. We share scripture and talk about podcast episodes and pray for each other and set goals and so much more! You’re more than welcome here, you’re wanted here! https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance
Transcription
0:02
Hey, hey, welcome back to another episode of the Intentional Abundant Life podcast. This is a bonus episode coming at y’all today because I am just a little bit too fired up about some things I have coming down the pipeline. But I also wanted to share a message to the hearts of those clients, potential clients, listeners, friends, and sisters of mine who are often feeling like you’re just not disciplined enough. So let’s do this jingle and we’ll dive right in.
1:36
Intro
1:43
All right, welcome back to another episode of the Intentional Abundant Life podcast. I’m your host Sasha star Robertson. And if you’re hearing some stuff going on in the background today, I’ve got our puppy dog down here and she’s just finding various things to chew on today. You know how puppies are. I didn’t bring any toys down here to the recording studio with me today. So I’ve already had to take a couple of things away from her and I’m like, shh dog, we’re recording a podcast. I’m just sitting here with my Aha, a-Ha, uha, I don’t know how it’s actually pronounced. I call it Aha. It’s a sparkling water, and I am one that hates sparkling water. I remember when we lived in England for four years. Yes, for those of you who have yet to hear. We lived in England for four years and it was incredible. We actually made a joke all the time. The best thing about it was leaving England because we traveled all over Europe while we were there. We took full advantage and were very intentional about the opportunity that we had.
2:56
Anyways, I remember all over Europe when you would order a water, sometimes they wouldn’t even ask, they would just bring you the fizzy water. And I would spit it out and almost gag like it just tastes toxic to me. And like Lacroix, I have a friend that joke it’s like tastes like it sat next to a crate of grapefruits. Because the taste, like the flavor of the fruits is just so like, blah. Anyway, I had an Aha at a friend’s house. Changed my life. This was like over a year ago. And so now we get them all the time. And they just came out with this new summer flavor pineapple passionfruit and it’s amazing. It’s like the ideal beverage that you want on a hot sunny day.
3:44
However, today, I want to talk to you guys about discipline and being self-disciplined. And I really, really, really want you to stick around to the very end because I’m doing something crazy, like legit crazy. Back in November of last year, I did something crazy and lives were transformed on account of it including my own, and I just really feel like God calling me to do something crazy again. I’ve been spending a lot of time in Scripture, a lot of time in quiet, in prayer. And just working on some mindset stuff, working on myself, my growth, spending time with Him and my family. And this has just like been on my heart.
4:30
So, let’s dive in. And then I’ll get to that and the juicy, juicy details that are coming along with that. So I want to talk to those of you who have this thought, this repeating thought that you’re just not disciplined. You don’t have self-discipline. You wish you had more self-discipline. And it really got me thinking when I’m hearing multiple clients, multiple ideal clients, some of you who’ve taken the time to fill out the market research form that I put out a few weeks back have said this. One of the things that you would really like one of your biggest struggles is self-discipline. But I want to take a moment to look at that, and what does that really mean. Now I know it might mean something different for each of you. But let’s start by looking at a few definitions of discipline.
5:31
I think a lot of times people think of it in the term of training yourself training you to do something in a controlled or habitual way. I think a lot of times when we say that we’re not disciplined or self-disciplined. It’s that idea of self-control or doing things in the way that we were trained. Another definition here is of self-discipline specifically is the ability to control your feelings and overcome your weaknesses, or the ability to pursue what one thinks is right, despite temptations to abandon it. And wow, that’s kind of huge when you think about it this way. Because if you’re listening to this, chances are you’re a mom. And how many times a day do you actually lay down your own feelings and overcome your weaknesses to pursue what you think is right despite your temptations to abandon it. Like, come on, That’s almost like the definition of motherhood.
6:40
Do I want to get up seven times in the middle of the night to take care of a sick child? No, I don’t want to; I want to sleep. That is how I feel I feel tired. I feel weak in my desire to sleep. My temptation is to stay in bed. But instead, I’m going to do what’s right. What I know is right. I’m going to do what I know, what my child needs from me right now. And I’m gonna do it so quickly that I’m not even thinking about it. Another idea of self-control is the idea or ability to regulate your emotions and thoughts and behavior, especially in the face of temptation and impulses. It’s a cognitive process that’s necessary for regulating your behaviors in order to achieve your goals and things like that.
7:36
And I think that this idea of self-discipline and self-control is what a lot of us are thinking about. Now we do know that self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. Right? And it is this self-discipline. It is about the ability to take captive those thoughts and feelings and sometimes those behaviors that we don’t actually want in our lives to fight those temptations and do what we know is right. And I think most often when I hear my clients or ideal clients, people who I have consults with, come to me and tell me that they’re just not very disciplined and they have a lot of distractions. I think what it actually is, is just misaligned priorities.
8:28
Sometimes it’s getting caught up in what we’re seeing as the day today. It’s not your ideal of like how you would like your day to go or how you would like to see your schedule go. Or you get to the end of the day and you look at maybe all of these larger goals or bigger picture things or your to-do list and it’s not checked off. Or you didn’t do any work on your business today or any work on that project today. And you’re like man, I’m just not disciplined. This is taking me so long to complete. I’m not focusing on it. I’m not staying true to what I said I would do. But I think in reality, what we are doing as moms is we’re trying to do all the things. We feel like nothing’s getting done or nothing’s getting what it needs. Because we’re showing up every day trying to balance at all.
9:39
And in all honesty, many of us have come from maybe a space of like childhood emotional neglect. Some of us have come from places where we had two working parents in the home and we weren’t really shown how to do it all. Or maybe some of us came from a family where a dad went to work all day and a mom stayed home and just took care of the home and her kids, and I say just as if it’s like some easy thing. No, I’m not saying that. You know, when I feel like when we say just it’s almost justifying something that I’ve had people come to me with both. Like I’m a stay-at-home mom also trying to work from home or have a business from home or pursue these God-given gifts and dreams and trying to balance it all. But my mom went away for work. Or I’m a working mom and I’m trying to balance all the things but my mom was a stay-at-home mom she just focused on the home and the kids and didn’t really do a lot of anything extra outside of the home.
10:42
And so, as you can see, I hear it from both sides. I hear people coming to me that they don’t have the example they don’t have the blueprint. They don’t understand how they’re supposed to make all of these things fit into the time that they have. And at the end of the day, it comes down to them feeling slightly ashamed because he didn’t get all of the things done. It leaves us feeling like we’re not good enough. Like we can’t live up to it. But in reality, all we have to do is uncomplicate it. All we have to do is sit down and evaluate and reprioritize what is it that we actually want to pursue and then make a schedule even like I talked about a couple of weeks ago, a free bird schedule that actually fits into the life that you’re living and the life that you want to create. And setting boundaries that are easy for us to stick to because we’re able to see and live in and experience the fruit of them.
11:58
We need to sit down and make the space for us. Yes, make the space for you, as a busy mom to be quiet, to process, your thoughts and your feelings. And then we work from that mindset to shift the behaviors and how we’re showing up. And so I just want to let you know that as a busy mom. It’s not self-discipline or self-control. That’s often the problem. It’s a result of other things just being misaligned of our priorities not being as aligned as we would like them to be and us oftentimes, just not holding fast to those boundaries, because we haven’t done it enough to see the fruits of it. And we don’t have the blueprint in front of us to know how to make it happen and how to make it a reality.
13:05
And Sister, you are not alone in this. This is one of the number one things like I said at the beginning – dog’s chasing her tail now – This is one of the number one things like I said at the beginning that I often hear moms come to me and saying, and they’re coming to me in shame. They’re coming to me, beating themselves up that they are not good enough. Because they can’t seem to get all the things done. And Sister, There is a way, and I’m sitting here with this cheesy grin on my face because there is a way because I know it and I see it and I live it, and I don’t live with these pressures. And this stress and this fear and this overwhelm and this chaos constantly surrounding me.
13:54
I don’t have to live with the shame because I have been set free from that. And I want to show you the way that you can also be set free from that. I am not a Savior; we have one Lord and Savior and that is Jesus Christ. And that is number one that is the firm foundation that we set all the rest of this on. And for my clients that come into the IAM, it’s often the number one space that we visit. We visit those firm foundations. We take the time, make the time, and prioritize God first God-focused living because anything else that you try to pursue is going to fall to pieces. It is going to be built on shifting sand. And as soon as anything wiggles, as soon as any kind of wave comes, it’s going to be knocked over.
13:55
So that is first and foremost we build upon the cornerstone upon the rock that is immovable and so I want to help you that is my number one passion. I say that of course, it is it’s Jesus right. But there are so many other things in this program that are also these huge passions of mine but number one is that faithful foundation that we make sure we build first before we build anything else. After that comes these purposeful priorities, where we sit down and we take a look at what is your life looking like right now? What is taking up a majority of your time, your mental energy, your focus? What are the things that you need to focus on in this season?
14:53
We really respect the season of life that you’re living in whether you’ve got a newborn in diapers, whether you’re a new mom for the first time, whether you’ve got a six-year-old, whether you’ve got a six-year-old and a four-year-old and a three-year-old and a two-year-old, or even those moms that have teenagers right now. I have a couple of clients. One son just graduated and is going off to college. Another one has a 21-year-old and some high schoolers. We look at the season of life that you’re in now.
16:10
What are your priorities what is God put on your heart? What is he calling you to focus on? And we make sure that your life, your actions, your schedule, and your boundaries, are all designed to fit what matters most to you and what God is calling you to. I just have to stop for a minute right here and remind you, it’s not going to look like anybody else’s. And I think that’s a huge part of where we get caught up here. Especially with social media. We can sit down and so easily look at what other people’s families, what other people’s schedules, what other people’s lives or workload, what their plates and backpacks are able to carry and so easily get caught up and swept away in this comparison mindset thinking our life if it could just look like theirs, then maybe I could feel better then maybe I wouldn’t be living in the shame then maybe I can get all my stuff done if I could just be better like her if I could just be more self-disciplined like her. No, sisters.
16:14
This is why we have faithful foundations to cut this comparison crap. Because that is exactly what the comparison trap is. All throughout these faithful foundations and these purposeful priorities we are focusing on mastering our mindset. And that’s done all throughout, where we are making sure our mind is set on the Lord, that we are taking every thought captive and taking it back to Him. And this is our mindset related to our home and our housework and how good of a homemaker we are and how good we are at cooking nutritious meals for our family and how our motherhood mindset is and how our schedule mindset is and this comparison stuff that I was talking about, even our faith mindset you guys we have the ability to overcomplicate our faith so much.
18:17
Another reason why I love digging into these faithful foundations. But I have a mindset framework that is so incredibly powerful and it can be used across the board. I learned it from my business coach. I’ve used it in so many different areas of my life that I know just you coming in and learning this powerful tool. This powerful framework has the ability to allow you to coach yourself through so much other stuff that can come up and get in the way.
18:51
And the last thing that we really love to focus on is simple self-care. Now before you’re triggered by the word self-care, I want you to know this is simple, biblical self-care and our faithful foundations are a huge part of that and we will get into that more in the program. You’re welcome to go back and listen to some of my episodes that are tagged self-care, or have that simple biblical self-care in the title if you want to learn more about that. But I am sharing all of this with you today because I made a decision this week that is truly unthinkable. I don’t even know why I’m doing this now. Just kidding. I’ve processed through it a lot. I can explain to the T’s why I’m doing this.
19:36
But for those of you who are around in November, you know I did something crazy. And I revamped my program a little bit and I put out an offer that people could come into this program or at least a taste of it, it was then, for so cheap that it was like… I wasn’t even making any money. And I absolutely loved it just serving the nine women that walked through the program was so life-giving to me, and life-changing for them. And it’s changed since then, and it’s changing again. So if you’ve been on here for a little while you might have heard me invite you into this program. That is 12 weeks of one-on-one coaching and I just want to let you know that the program has changed. And before you click off here, sisters, you’re going to want to hear this. I promise you. The program has changed and my coaching services are now in six-month increments. So I’m doing this because I’ve had multiple clients resign. And I’ve noticed and they’ve noticed the ones who’ve worked with me longer for 20 plus weeks are the ones that have found these like sustainable transformations.
20:55
And I want to make sure that people coming into my program are literally being transformed, that they are going through the whole process that they’re allowed and making the space for themselves to sit and seek and grow and make these shifts necessary that you can live these productively peaceful days. I promise you it is attainable, productively peaceful days are my existence. And they’re the existence of some of my clients as well. And the other of my clients that isn’t yet is because we’re still working through this process. Some of us have a lot of junk in the way that we need to work through and allow ourselves to process and lay down before we get to that point.
21:50
And that’s exactly what God has gifted me in this program, in walking through these four pillars to transform your life and bring you peace that surpasses understanding. I’m not the one who gives it, I just help lay the path and give you the blueprint that you can seek the One that gives it in all that you do in a way that you truly enjoy your days, even the ones that are a little bit chaotic or maybe even a lot a bit chaotic. They can help you get through those seasons with productive days that you don’t just feel productive, that you know that you’ve been productive in the things that matter most. Even if it’s not checking something off of your to-do list and to know that you’re being a good steward of all of the gifts and resources that God has given you. It is a real-life sisters; there is a way to and both productivity and peaceful living. And I’ve got the blueprint and I want to share it with you. So, I’m inviting you to come into this revamped program. Again, 6 months of working with me.
22:56
Do you understand? That gets you through the rest of 2022. Imagine, who do you want to be on January 1, 2023? Do you want to continue living like you’re living now? Do you want to feel the same today that you do on January 1, 2023? Or do you want to be transformed; do you want to be opened up; do you want to be living on this firm foundation of faith and peace that surpasses understanding? Do you want to enjoy your life? Do you want this deep relationship with God and to know that you are being intentional with your time with your family, your time with your home, your time with your business or your mission, or your friends or your health, the things that truly matter to you. If you’re sitting there wishing that there was a way for you to do it all and live life to the fullest, then this is where I’m inviting you to be. So this 6 months of coaching I am giving to you for the cost of my 12-week program right now.
20:55
And I’m not going to say the price on here because I want to hear your dreams and desires. I want to hear about where you’re at right now and what you want to shift. I want to connect my heart to your heart in a consult. I want to hear your voice; I want to hear your passions; I want to hear what things you might be wrestling with right now. What things are standing in the way of you living the life that you know you are being called to live out? I know that you’re resourceful. I know that you have faith. I know that you have God’s Word in your hand. I know that you know how to pray. I know that you’re a good mom. And I know that you are disciplined because you do all the things. You show up every day and do all the things for everyone around you and everyone you love.
22:51
So, here’s what I want. I want you to stop beating yourself up. I want you to stop struggling in between your own two ears and in between your head and your heart and standing in your own way of the transformation that God is calling you to. Because this 6-month program is at such a steal-of-a-deal I’ve got 5 spaces. And I told one of my clients already earlier today and she said, Sign me up! Do you need it in writing? Do you need me to pay you? Whatever. And we are not even halfway through the second twelve weeks that she’s already bought into because she knows the value and the transformation that she’s seen in working with me in this program. And so, sister, I am inviting you into it, this steal-of-a-deal that I have going on is only available to five ladies. Honestly, I don’t believe that this is going to be around through the end of this month.
22:51
So, if you want in on this. If you have been in this space hearing me talk about productively peaceful days, God-first God-focused living, the IAM coaching program, any of the stuff that I talk about here on the podcast and you want more. Maybe you just want more Sasha. Come into my space, girl, you’re going to leave transformed. I love my clients and I cherish every moment that I get to work with them because God shows up. And I love watching that so much.
22:51
In fact, I just want o share this little story with you before I jump off. I had a client, God bless her, on vacation who made a point to still be on her call that week. And she jumped on the call and she said, All day, all morning this morning, all night last night I was thinking about X. And I was just cheesing ear to ear as she was telling me this because it was so weird that the night before I was laying in bed and it just popped into my mind almost as quickly as it popped right back out, but I had the same thought about what she was talking about.
22:51
And I was like this is weird like I’m just sitting there thinking and I’m like, Thank You, God. But I was like, I need to tell her that I had this thought last night as I was laying in bed trying to go to sleep. And then, after she was done talking, I let her share her heart with me and everything and keep going on, and I said, You know what, Ashley? I was laying in bed last night and I had this thought pop into my mind out of nowhere. And I thought all these character qualities about her and everything that I know about her, and I just thought, Yeah, she should do X. And she said, Oh, I know. I knew you were going to confirm what I had said on this call today. God made it very clear to me that you were going to confirm what I said.
22:51
And I was like whoa. Isn’t that so cool though, that I get to do life wither her. That we get to work together on this level and it really is a spiritual level. And I am just so blessed. I am so grateful that God has called me and placed me in this position because the work that we do is not just changing the lives o these moms, of these women, but it’s changing the way that they show up in their marriage, in their home, towards their children, towards their families, outside of their home, their extended families, towards their community, and y’all, this has the power generational blessing.
22:51
And I am just so honored. I am so grateful. And I invite you to this. So, here’s your first step: If you’re not already in the Intentional Abundance Community, you should be there. The link is in the show notes. There are more details about this in there. But also, I am so excited to talk to you! So, visit the show notes, click the link to schedule a consult, and I will see you hopefully face-to-face on that zoom call next week as we dig into what kind of life you’re going to be living come January 1, 2023. I can’t wait for my heart to meet yours, sister.
More about your Podcast Host
Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Abundant Life Podcast.
Would you benefit from having a coach helping you live Productively Peaceful days digging into Faithful Foundations, Purposeful Priorities, Mindset Mastery, & Simple Selfcare? This question is rhetorical, everyone would! Schedule a consult with Sasha to learn more about the IAM Coaching Program and to see if you’d be a good it. https://calendly.com/intentionalabundanceco/iamconsult
Intentional Momlife with Jesus 