Summary
In this episode Sasha breaks down 5 very common ways your ‘normal’ #mombrain is keeping you stuck right where you’re at. She brings encouragement that you’re not alone in this… we ALL do it… and awareness is the first step to overcoming. But also, Sasha shares some tips on how to get out of this pattern, because momma, it doesn’t have to be this way.
Jump on a consult asap to share your heart and learn about what your life could look like January 1, 2023 after 6 months in the IAM at a price point that you literally can’t afford not to take full advantage of. This price point is only available to the first 5 ladies that jump in on it, so don’t delay because they will fly like hot cakes in a room with teenage boys in the middle of their competitive sports season. https://calendly.com/intentionalabundanceco/iamconsult
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You’re invited to join us in the Productively Peaceful Moms Club over on facebook! It’s a safe space where we can show up vulnerably and encourage each other, where ere share the mission of being the best mommas we can be through the grace and strength of Jesus Christ, where we encourage consistency and are able to hold each other accountable. We share scripture and talk about podcast episodes and pray for each other and set goals and so much more! You’re more than welcome here, you’re wanted here! https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance
Transcription
0:00
Hello sisters, and welcome back to another episode of the Intentional Abundant Life podcast. I’m your host, Sasha Robertson. And today, we are talking about five reasons your #mombrain is keeping you stuck. And I’m super excited to dive into this because I feel like a lot of us as moms can feel like we’re just trying to survive another day or another season. And we’re sometimes wondering, will it ever change? When is it going to change? Why can’t I get X, Y, and Z together in order? And this is completely normal. So we’re gonna dive into this in the episode today, and I’m going to share with you these five reasons and we’re going to talk about them a little bit once we do this jingle
0:54
Jingle
1:52
Okay, so super fun right now. I am away on this little me-treat is what I’m calling it. It’s like a retreat. But just for me. I did one back at the end of 2021 and just went into the year on fire. And I was actually supposed to go on this really long 22-mile hike through a mountain pass until I find out it was all guys that were going and I’m like, I don’t want to deal with all guys. My husband was one of them. So that was exciting. But I was like, Let me let them have their guide time and my husband was like, Hey you know I know you really enjoyed yourself the last time you had like a little you retreat, staycation, whatever you want to call it where you went, got an Airbnb and you prayed and you spent time in Scripture and you looked over your business and your plan winds and made plans for your business and all that fun stuff. And he’s like you came out of that on fire. And he’s like, I think it might be time for you to do that again.
2:51
And I was like, wait, what? To have my husband propose this idea was just the greatest blessing to me to know that he sees me and all the work that I do not just in the home and for our family, but in my business in the lives of women. And so, I was like, absolutely. You know, we already had an overnight babysitter, my mom, who was going to watch our son while we went to this hike, and so it just worked out perfect.
3:19
And y’all God has been showing up As I have created the space created this quiet time to sit and think about my thoughts and my mindset and bring them to Him and reset my mind on Him to open His word, to do these Bible studies and just be in Scripture, but also to spend time in prayer, praying over my clients, praying over my business, praying over my program, and everything. He has just shown up so magnificently. And I’m super excited about that because He is like, Nope, we’re changing things again.
3:57
And so, long story short, when I started this business, it was definitely like God said, Offer coaching. And I was like wait, what? I knew nothing about the life coaching industry. I was not a coach. I did not have a certification. I was not being coached like, I knew nothing. And I was just okay Lord, and took that first obedient step. And He brought so much out of me later that year, in what was my coaching program that then changed to be something different. When I first wrote it out, it was definitely, you know, God-inspired, but there was nothing in the structure of my program that was like explicitly Him. And as I was doing market research, I kept noticing that a lot of Moms, much like myself in the very beginning, were finding it difficult to find that quiet time and to find that peace that comes from Him and to prioritize God in their life. And so that’s when he shifted it and created these faithful foundations as a huge pillar in my coaching program.
5:01
And He’s just like, No, we’re taking this deeper. And He’s had me recently in this season of being deeply rooted. And I’m just super excited because that’s what He’s calling me to then share that. And He’s just brought out so much. And so the structure is changing a little bit again; it’s still the same, we’re still talking about productively peaceful days for Christian moms. I still have the four pillars, faithful foundations, purposeful priorities, mindset mastery, and then we throw in some simple Biblical Self Care in there as well because it’s important for us as moms. But all that to say He’s just getting a little bit more refined with this process that He’s asking me to walk moms through. And just the stuff that He’s brought out and downloaded to me this weekend has been fabulous.
5:50
So all that to say that He’s also kind of shown me these five reasons why your Mom Brain is keeping you stuck. And he’s like, I’ve created this, I created this for not just me, because of course, I’m gonna listen to my own sermons and my own teachings first, right, that’s living in integrity. And it’s something that we talk about in the program. But also he’s like, created this for women, for these moms that are in your audience that are in your community, that are listening to your podcasts, that are in your sphere in your circle. And He’s like, But there’s something that’s keeping them stuck. There’s something that’s holding them back. And I think part of it is just our built-in nature to second guess ourselves to keep ourselves comfortable, to look out for danger, and make sure that we’re protecting ourselves from that.
6:42
So I’ve come up with these five reasons your #MomBrain is keeping you stuck. And I think the biggest thing to remember in all of this is they’re totally normal. This is not unique to you this is all of us. Number one is that mom life keeps you focused on what’s directly in front of you instead have the bigger picture. And this is something all of my clients have said at one time or another. It’s things that I have said at one time or another is that you’re going about your day and you’re like, Oh yeah, I have this perfect plan, if you even are to the point of making plans for your day, and then something happens, something comes up that’s right in front of you, whoever’s knocking on the door, whoever is right in your face, whoever is making the request in front of you. That’s very real. It’s very tangible. You can see it you can feel its presence, you can feel its touch.
7:38
And so our natural inclination is to go do that thing, to go serve that person, to answer that door, to go put out that fire, to go clean up that mess, and that can often get us – I don’t want to say distracted, but I think distracted is kind of the best word – distracted away from the focus of the bigger picture. Not to say, you know, our kid needing a snack is a distraction to whatever else we’re doing. Yeah, that is like our greater purpose and our greater mission here. That’s what we’re here to do is provide snacks but we’re not only here to provide snacks, and so I think that’s one of the things that I love to call out of women is like, how can we structure our days so that we’re able to pursue those things that matter those big picture things and minimize the distractions of those knocks on the door.
8:35
One example, how can we give our kids attention, the attention that they need and that they desire, in a way that limits their need to come and interrupt us in times when we’re focusing on other things. And I think that’s a big point of this main one is being aware of what’s actually going on in our lives and in our days, and then being able to make a plan or implement strategy and tools that help us do all of those things. But intentionally having these lead measures in place of like, what can I set up to make all of the things easier on me, more productive, more fulfilling, more efficient.
9:28
Number two, you’re often running on less sleep than you should be, and less ideal nutrition, because you’re always focused on meeting the needs of others. And this is another thing I love to help my clients do, and it’s something I definitely still need work in. This is not my strongest area. But as moms, we can often be woken up in the morning to our kids waking us up. And we start off on this reactive back foot approach to the day. And then we’re always doing and serving like number one, the needs of others that are always coming up and put in our face that we’re forgetting to sit down and have a nutritious breakfast. We’re just kind of grab-and-go snacking on whatever we can find or running through fast food or whatever else. And then we’re staying up late after our family goes to bed trying to fill ourselves up with these scraps of the day with these scraps of whatever we have left, thinking oh, if I just binge watch this show or just one more episode or scroll through social media a little bit more, or try and get stuff done on our to-do list when we’re, we’re actually like mentally and physically and emotionally fatigued. And then we’re staying up too late trying to do stuff with really inefficient energy and stamina. Then, we start the whole process over again.
10:53
And so, I love implementing some things like meal planning, and meal prepping. Whereas I think about what are we going to eat throughout this week before I go grocery shopping, making sure I’m getting the things at the store that we need for those. And then usually the day after we go grocery shopping because after grocery shopping we usually do Costco I’m exhausted, taking a toddler grocery shopping, you know, carrying all those big boxes of bulk groceries up the steps. I don’t want to cook that day. I don’t want to be on my feet anymore. So usually the day after two days after, I’ll do a lot of the meal prep and I will cook in a one to a two-hour window of my week, several meals. Usually, it’s not several, it’s maybe three sometimes four, or five different kinds of meals, but in those larger, you know, Costco quantities. And then a lot of times they’re in the fridge ready to go. So my husband doesn’t have to stress about what he’s taking for lunch. If I need a grab and go, I can quickly grab it, throw it in the microwave and eat I can feed my toddler, whatever else right?
12:01
So again, it’s taking those lead measures and then making sure we’re setting boundaries around our bedtime and sticking to them. This is something that these last six months I have been terrible about. My husband’s been on the night shift. We thought we would give it a try for the sake of other benefits and pros that came along with this specific shift, but it has been honestly terrible. We have tried and tried and tried. But what I’ve been doing is staying up extremely late trying to get more done, more done, more done, and then really cutting myself short on sleep that has had so many just negative consequences to where I’m always tired. I don’t want to wake up. I always want to nap. I’m left short and frustrated because I’m fatigued. I’m desiring more sweets and comfort foods to combat that I just really want to sleep and I’m so fatigued and craving sugar for those bouts of energy, drinking too much coffee, etc.
13:01
This might be normal for you. This might be like, yep, yep, this is exactly what I do, Sasha. So I’m being very intentional about going back to what I knew worked for me. And that was getting to bed at a decent time, respecting that boundary – when my phone goes on prepare for sleep mode, it just tells me because I have my sleep schedule set up in my phone, I’m going to respect that and I’m going to honor that. I’m going to go to bed at a decent time so that I can then go back to my routine of waking up at 4:35 am and having that quiet time with the Lord, starting my day off right because that is where the fruit truly is.
13:44
And this is something that I love to help my clients with too because I am not this person. Naturally ingrained in my flesh, everything that Sasha is, is a night owl. I can stay up until 4 am working and getting stuff done. But as a mom, that’s not realistic. Like I cannot do that because of, like I just listed, all of these consequences and cons that come along with that. When I was you know pre-mom, didn’t have a day job at times, you know, worked the night shift, whatever, that worked, and that was okay. At the college that I went to, even our mascot was the night owls because that’s just who we were right? I have a plaque friends gave me that said… What did it say? It’s called a sleep marathon or something like that, winner or something. I am a sleeper, it’s what I’m good at is sleeping in and staying up late in the flesh. But I have to not do that because it’s not good for me and my family and it’s not producing the fruits in life that I desire. So if I can do that, you can do that. Maybe you need a little countability or coaching, that’s where I come in, or that’s where another coach comes in.
14:59
Moving on. Number three: you’re not prioritizing getting quiet and listening to God or hearing your own thoughts, or processing through your emotions. This is a major thing that keeps us stuck. This is a major thing that not just #MomBrain, you know, people all across the board. But when you’re not prioritizing getting quiet and listening to God throughout the day, you’re lacking wisdom and discernment, you’re lacking in the fruit of the Spirit. When you’re not sitting down and being quiet enough to listen to and be aware of the thoughts that you’re actually having. Like, that’s huge. Scripture calls us to take our thoughts captive. And a lot of times when we’re in this pattern, it leads to number four, which I’ll get on in a minute, but also taking the time to sit down and process your emotions. So many of us were raised to ignore our emotions or neglect our emotions or shove down our emotions, or just not even be in tune with them because they’re uncomfortable, and they’re yucky. But our emotions are very, very good indicators of our thoughts and our beliefs. And that’s the very stuff that all of your actions stem from. And if you’re having icky thoughts, and icky feelings, icky emotions, your actions and behaviors are going to show up in ways that create these undesirable results in life that you don’t want and you’re continuing to stay stuck in them because you’re not taking the time to sit down and listen and process and address those things.
16:44
And moving on to number four, it’s you’re in a state of constant mom guilt. A lot of that comes from these thoughts and these feelings that you’re thinking about yourself but also you have this mom guilt because you didn’t do X. You fill in the blank there whatever it is for you. Or even worse you didn’t do X, Y, and Z, and then that’s creating all of this pressure and all of this guilt that you’re not living up to what you think you should be in these expectations that you have for yourself. Or mom guilt because you snapped at your kids. And all of this goes back to you know, number one, number two, number three, those are the very things that contribute to this number four constant state of mom guilt.
17:34
Which leads to number five, that mom guilt, guilt unaddressed, and these other icky emotions can turn into something bigger, can turn into shame, can turn into whatever it is you’re making it mean about you. You specifically, Ashley, Sarah, Heather, Laura, Stephanie, Rachel, any other names that are not popping in my head right now? And please know, that these are not attached to any specific people. Obviously, they’re very common names. But what are you making all of this stuff mean about you? What are these icky emotions and icky thoughts, creating in the belief system that you have about yourself? Because guilt is feeling bad about something that you did or didn’t do, right? But the longer we sit in that guilt, it can turn into shame. And shame is something about you, who you are, and you carrying that on account of this guilt. It now means something about who you are. And this is something I had to spend a lot of time sitting in and through counseling and therapy. So I’m very familiar with these emotions and with these thoughts and with these beliefs.
18:59
What it really boils down to is that you’re living day-to-day focused on what’s directly in front of you. And all of this day-to-day living all of your actions that you’re taking all of the things that you’re doing and pursuing are just out of alignment with what matters most to you. If you’re in the His constant state of feeling stuck. There is a way out. There is a way out. I know this because I was in this, I was living this, and I have clients who were and are in this and living this. And we are working out of that for them. Some of them have already come out of the space of being stuck and are taking some of them one step, some of them five steps. Now, some of them even further into this land of abundance, living these productively peaceful days. They’re not just having goals, they’re achieving goals. They’re not just sitting in these yucky thoughts and emotions, they’re addressing them and tackling them and laying them at the feet of Jesus. They’re not letting their day-to-day in their lives, and the demands that are in front of them control their lives, or not having a schedule or structure to the way that they’re living. And they’re prioritizing God, and they’re seeking him first and foremost in all that they’re doing. And this is something that I absolutely love walking with women through this journey.
20:34
So if you’re listening to this podcast episode, and you were like, yes, Sasha. Yes, Sasha. Yes, Sasha. You are saying everything that is real and happening in my life right now. I want to encourage you to have courage, to make a decision today and say, I’m done. I’m done letting my #MomBrain keep me stuck. And all of this stuff. I’m ready to take a bold and faithful step forward in saying, I’m going to live a more intentional life. I’m gonna do what I can and trust that there is a way out of this. And I’m willing to do the work. I’m willing to step forward, at least to take that first step.
21:25
And that first step is to jump on a call. Let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about these things or whatever else is coming up in your life right now. What is your current reality? And where would you rather be? How would you rather be living? What do you want your life to look like on January 1, 2023? And on that consult, you’re going to hear about this fabulous, incredible, borderline-crazy deal that I have for you in this stepping forward, that’s going to take you through to January 1, 2023, and being that woman. And I say this with boldness, and I say this with faith because I believe it because I’ve seen it time and time again, that this staying stuck, this current reality that you’re living does not have to be the way that you’re living. I’ll see you on the call sister, and have a blessed day.
More about your Podcast Host
Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Abundant Life Podcast.
Would you benefit from having a coach helping you live Productively Peaceful days digging into Faithful Foundations, Purposeful Priorities, Mindset Mastery, & Simple Selfcare? This question is rhetorical, everyone would! Schedule a consult with Sasha to learn more about the IAM Coaching Program and to see if you’d be a good it. https://calendly.com/intentionalabundanceco/iamconsult
Desiring Community?
You’re invited to join us in the Productively Peaceful Moms Club over on facebook! It’s a safe space where we can show up vulnerably and encourage each other, where ere share the mission of being the best mommas we can be through the grace and strength of Jesus Christ, where we encourage consistency and are able to hold each other accountable. We share scripture and talk about podcast episodes and pray for each other and set goals and so much more! You’re more than welcome here, you’re wanted here! https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance
Intentional Momlife with Jesus 