Summary

In this episode Justine Wenzel shares a powerful testimony shower the listeners with encouragement and inspiration as she leaves no stone unturned. Justine shares about healing from childhood trauma and all the goodness that God has grown in her throughout the journey.

Justine encourages the listeners to consider it a gift that God loves us enough to put us through the amount of refining that He does. She also shares about confidence, our gifts and purposes in Christ, control, growth, how we need to challenge our beliefs, hearing from God, the importance of getting uncomfortable, seasons of life,  healing, and so much more. 

Such an amazing conversation with @jwenzel29 of @couragequeenpod on the Intentional Abundant Life Podcast today. Her testimony is so powerful in the way it encourages and shifts thoughts while sharing the beauty that’s come through her own refining seasons for all of us to glean from. 

Want to connect with Justine? Subscribe to her Courage Queen Podcast: https://couragequeen.buzzsprout.com or connect with her on social: www.instagram.com/couragequeenpod  www.instagram.com/jwenzel29 

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Would you benefit from having a coach helping you live Productively Peaceful days digging into Faithful Foundations, Purposeful Priorities, Mindset Mastery, & Simple Selfcare? Schedule a consult with Sasha to learn more about the IAM Coaching Program and to see if you’d be a good it. https://calendly.com/intentionalabundanceco/iamconsult 

Give this episode a listen and then join us in the Intentional Abundance Community to share your thoughts and takeaways! You’re invited to join us in the Productively Peaceful Moms Club over on facebook! It’s a safe space where we can show up vulnerably and encourage each other, where ere share the mission of being the best mommas we can be through the grace and strength of Jesus Christ, where we encourage consistency and are able to hold each other accountable. We share scripture and talk about podcast episodes and pray for each other and set goals and so much more! You’re more than welcome here, you’re wanted here! https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intentional-abundance/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/intentional-abundance/support

Transcription

Sasha Star Robertson 0:04
Hello sisters and welcome back to another episode of the Intentional Abundant Life Podcast. I’m your host Sasha Starr Robertson, and I am here with another special guest today. She is an entrepreneur and karaoke enthusiast, Justine Wenzel has been coaching women for over 10 years on increasing their confidence and courage muscle. She has a podcast as well called the Courage Clean Podcast, where she deep dives into raw and authentic stories of those that choose to be vulnerable, push past fear and into their purpose and encompasses personal and professional themes are the stories aimed to inspire listeners to live out their purpose courageously while finding humor in everything. Welcome, Justine, thank you so much for being here with us today. Tell us a little bit more about yourself.

Justine Wenzel 0:53
Well hey, girlfriend, thanks for having me. I’m super excited to be here and just be able to share in hopes that you know, I really think if I were to simplify my prayer is that women specifically would be able to raise their level of belief. Specifically after hearing this because my story is all over the place. There are so many topics that we could dig into and you know, from going through and facing my childhood trauma to breaking through my own belief and deciding to start this podcast through my healing journey and you know, working it into how I coach women every single day, to increase their confidence and come alongside them and help them to see their God-given potential and their gifts. And so I just love that my podcast has been able to be a compliment and an extension of that, to be able to just go even deeper with people because that’s really where the true fruit is.

Sasha Star Robertson 1:48
Amen. I totally, totally agree. I love that we’re kind of in alignment here with like what we’ve been through made us or contributed to us being who we are today. And really using that and sharing what we’ve been through that’s created our gifts and our purpose and all these other things to step out. And it is, it takes courage and it takes confidence. And so tell us a little bit more about how that came to be in your life.

Justine Wenzel 2:22
Great. So, how I realized that kind of confidence was the missing link… You know, when I coach women every single day as a… I’m a business coach and like strategist you could say, a beauty guru as a makeup artist and I have the distinct privilege of being face to face with women every single day and up until COVID Hit that was really a lot of face to face time so I could really kind of gauge people’s body language what they were saying kind of certain words and then kind of stop them and say like, Okay, wait a second. I want to kind of go deeper into what you just shared with me. And I want to uncover why. What is holding you back in those moments?

Justine Wenzel 3:03
And so many of the time what I have found is, you know, we talk about the topic, but we never really dig into the root. And so, what I found by talking to these women trying to get them to the other side, So many times I’ve realized it’s not that they don’t have the skills or the talent or the giftings but they don’t know how to tap into those talents and giftings because they’re in a crisis of confidence. And I think that there are a lot of reasons for that.

Justine Wenzel 3:16
But I guess one of the things that stands out the most as to why women specifically have this crisis of confidence is because they’re in transition a lot of the time. They’ve gone from not being a mom to maybe becoming a mom. They’ve experienced body changes, right? Weight changes, appearance changes. And you know, as a Christ-follower, I sit there and I would love to say like, oh, I don’t have any of those problems like everything’s great. But I have to be transparent and honest because I’m just kind of a here-it-is type of person that you know, I could stand here and say to you that though we don’t find our worth and identity and those things, and I know that to be true, but I also know it to be very true and valid. That just because we know we don’t have identity there doesn’t mean we don’t struggle and have to combat that daily.

Justine Wenzel 4:27
So there are so many of those things you know, so many women are carrying a list and a heavy weight of their failures of the things where they feel like they misstepped, broken relationships, changing and becoming who they want to be and feeling like they’re in the messy middle of that. There are just so many things that we as women take on and so many hats that we wear, that I think women have a hard time getting their foot in. They have a hard time truly believing that they were called with their gifts and how to implement those gifts that go far beyond their insecurities and their circumstances.

Justine Wenzel 5:01
And so I kind of came to find that that for me had been holding me back because when I was working with a coach at one point. What I realized was, that I was incredibly tough on myself very much a high achiever, and worked my butt off in everything that I did, but I was completely exhausted. And you know, you can be a workaholic and love what you’re doing but that also necessarily is not a good thing. Because you realize that there’s not rest, you realize that there’s not, when you feel like you can do all these things yourself and you feel like you’re holding on you’re the one holding on to everything with the control. That really means deep down that you don’t trust God. And that’s what I was coming to find out, is if I really trusted that God had all the pieces that he was working behind the scenes for my good then I wouldn’t feel the need to constantly try to take back control in my life.

Justine Wenzel 5:51
And so I really started working on how can I approach this with more of an open hand to surrender my daily struggles and fears and insecurities, and 2020 actually was something that really shifted this for me because I looked into it and my word of the year was “focus”. And the Lord really brought me to believe that focus stood for Fruit Only Comes Upon Surrender.

Sasha Star Robertson 6:16
Wow.

Justine Wenzel 6:17
And maybe you need to hear that today. Because one of the things that I realized was in my way from getting the confidence that I knew was needed to press in and go forward was, I wasn’t confident in myself. I didn’t trust other people because of what I had been through. And then God really convicted me one day and he said, do you even trust me?

Justine Wenzel 6:39
And I realized the sad truth that as much as I had been a faithful Christ-follower. I clearly didn’t trust him fully because if I did, I’d have confidence in what he told me was the truth about me, and I didn’t. And so I went on a journey of trying to get to the bottom of how do I build my confidence and how do I build my confidence in something that lasts and for me that was choosing to have intentional focus on daily time in God’s word so that he could teach me how to see myself the way that he saw me and to see myself the way that other people saw me and for him to illuminate what my gifts were because when I was comparing around with everybody else, and I would say like, Oh, what am I good at? And they’d be like, Oh, you’re really funny. And I’m like, That’s it. And honestly, I was kind of disappointed. Like people were like, Oh my gosh, you’re so funny, you always keep us laughing, you’re so…

Justine Wenzel 7:29
But like that was that was the compliment I got all the time, but to be honest with you, I was like that’s, that’s it? And you automatically… I think sometimes when somebody gives you a compliment and you feel like there should be more, you feel like there’s more depth to you, like you feel like that’s what anybody would say whether they knew you really well or didn’t know you really well. And so, I looked into that and said, Okay, there’s a problem here because if I’m disappointed by someone’s compliment, because I’m automatically going into a mental space of well, I guess I must not be smart. I guess I must not be qualified. I guess I must not be amazing. Because they just think that I’m funny. I was not allowing myself to have full access. Or I was more, I guess more specifically, I was not allowing others to have more access to me to truly get to know me because I just always kept people at an arm’s length and always knew what my coping was going to be to keep people from hurting me.

Justine Wenzel 7:30
And so I had to start reworking that and one of the ways that I reworked that was every single day, I would speak for things like I would start by saying, this is something I’m specifically good at. And I just want to even break that down even further because one of the things that I realized was, and maybe you’re in this place is like if somebody were to say, if you had to write down a list of all your giftings and what you loved about yourself, that was really difficult for me because honestly, I had trouble coming up with things to put on that list. And so sometimes, in the beginning, we have to go to people that we trust. And we have to specifically ask God like help work through people in my life, to point out my giftings but also don’t allow me to stay there because I want to be able to have that direct communication and link to you. I don’t want to just rely on other people to tell me what I’m good at. I know you created me for such a time as this, with specific giftings. Help me develop those giftings and help show me what they are.

Justine Wenzel 7:29
And when you ask God for that it’s the same kind of thing as acting for wisdom. Like when you ask God for those things, he will answer he will start to work through people. He’ll start to bring things to the surface. It’s not like the sky just opened up and He’s like, Justine, your giftings are that you’re funny, but you’re also very good at loving other people. He’s not going to just at the moment like probably tell you, but He’s going to start working through His Word, and you’re gonna start confirming that with things that people say to you. And sometimes you have to be brave and courageous in those moments to ask those people in your life, Hey, I really feel like I’m having a crisis of confidence a little bit. Would you be able to give me the gift of maybe speaking something into my life and telling me what you feel like is something that I’ve done to impact you? What is it about me that’s helped you be a better person? What effect have I had on you? Because I would really love to know from your perspective, where you see where I’m strong so that I could dig into those giftings and pray over them to make them stronger and develop them.

Justine Wenzel 8:15
And so it really took me getting out of my comfort zone. I had to ask some really hard questions, some really kind of awkward questions. But that’s really how things started shifting. And it was the daily decision in that consistency to look myself in the mirror and, as Mel Robbins would say, give yourself a high five and truly love the person that I was seeing regardless of what I saw looking back at me. And I started reworking and putting those pieces back together that I felt were very shattered and broken. And I started to see myself a different way.

Sasha Star Robertson 10:56
Wow, there was so much goodness in what you just had to share. I totally agree. I’ve got like all these stars in my notes next to like things that I want to bring up here. But I totally agree God is a God of confirmation. When He shows you something or speaks something over you, He’s gonna put it in front of you multiple times, whether it’s a scripture verse that He’s wanting you to really lean into and dig into. I’ve had like where a scripture verse came up in my Bible study, and then the pastor talked about it. And then I ran into a friend at the grocery store and she said something, and then I had a podcast guest who said something and then I was reading somebody else’s social media posts and it was just like, all confirming right. And so I totally agree with that.

Sasha Star Robertson 11:42
One of the things that you had said was like, these, this kind of like, feedback, right that you’re getting from people what would you say about me and they’re like, Oh, you’re funny and you’re like, Wait, that’s it. That’s like I first thing I had written down is like part of you is hiding and I think so many of us, it’s kind of like this vicious circle where we’re hiding to protect ourselves. So people don’t know the real us. But then people don’t know the real us so they can’t respond or do life with us in a way that like, is truly life-giving. But it’s because we’re hiding. It makes us want to hide and so it’s kind of like this vicious cycle that we can get ourselves caught up in when we are in that state of hiding.

Sasha Star Robertson 12:26
And I love that you sat with yourself like the things that you knew but then also went to God and like asked Him but then went to trusted people in your life too. And I actually have in the Life and Goals Planner, It’s a personal assessment survey. One of the first things that I have people do. I have them fill it out for themselves because they know themselves, but then also share it with like three or five trusted friends that know them. At least to some extent. But then a lot of times what we find is when we get that survey back it is, there is that gap like you had said, but it shines a light on like, kind of what are we putting out in the world versus who are we actually? And I love that you had like encouraged people to strike that balance between what other people are saying but also like what does God say about you and who you are in your time with him. I love that you had mentioned control and like the control was a sign that you didn’t trust God and then you’re like, oh, you know, I need to surrender. I needed confidence in myself and trust people and I was like, I need to trust God. Do I even trust God? And I had a very, very similar moment in my life where I had this, it was almost like a midlife crisis. My husband referred to it as he’s like you’re way too young for a midlife crisis.

Justine Wenzel 13:50
Call that a quarter-life crisis.

Sasha Star Robertson 13:52
That’s a good one. So, I had a quarter-life crisis and it was like I found myself in a position where I didn’t trust anybody around me. And I it was causing me to not trust myself because if like these are the people I’ve surrounded myself with and they’re not trustworthy, can I trust myself to even be a good judge of character? And then it came down to like, wow, I’m not in a good space right now because I don’t even trust God. And so I made a commitment, almost like a covenant to God at that point. Like, I am going to know God intimately, so that I can trust him. And I dug in to just like study, what does he say about himself and who he is like, what are the characteristics of God that He gives us in Scripture, and like growing in this intimate relationship with Him so that I could trust him. And that was just like, a huge, totally, life-changing season for me.

Sasha Star Robertson 14:51
A couple of other things that you had talked about was a lot of people will talk about the topic without getting to the root. And I just, I just shared something about that. The other day, it was like, a lot of us work really hard and focus on changing the fruit. But we’re just leaving the root in there that’s producing all of this ugly fruit. So I love that you do that work with people too. And then the last thing that I want to touch on is your focus, like wow, incredibly powerful acronym. Like if that’s the only thing somebody takes away from this episode. Fruit Only Comes Upon Surrender, like huge. I totally, totally agree.

Justine Wenzel 15:30
Yeah. You have that spot that like, like where is that spot where you feel like God speaks to you? Because for me, it’s like, I’m taking a shower. And I think it’s because like, I can’t focus on anything else. So those are always like my lightbulb moments where I’m like, Oh my gosh, God spoke to me. I mean, I remember through my healing journey, just like taking a shower, same kind of thing. Not really and then like, God would just connect and fill in a gap for me of something that I had been worrying about, praying about, not understanding about my story. I was trying to put those puzzle pieces together.

Justine Wenzel 16:02
And one of the things I really love that somebody shared with me was that God gives you all the puzzle pieces, but he doesn’t give you the outside of the puzzle so that you actually see what it looks like. So we’re over here trying to, you know, we’re taking the puzzle piece and we’re, Okay, does this one fit? It kind of fits, it’s kind of jacked up, but, does it kind of fit in here? You know, how… there are those pieces that are not the correct piece that’s supposed to click in, but we try to like force it and try to make it because we’re like, yeah, that’s worked, right. But we don’t have the picture of what it’s supposed to look like. What is the grand scheme of our life looking like and God knows that long before we do? And we’re just trying to put these pieces together and we’re trying to make it work and we’re trying to do it at our own strength. And, you know, one of the things I want to just touch on very quickly that you said is, you know, in your planner that you have where you’re like, Okay, I know myself I know this probably something to do with self-assessment. I’m just going to throw kind of a wrench in this real quick because if you’ve been through, my guess would be and this is just my experience, Maybe it’s not anyone else’s, but I want to give people permission, as well as I, want to reassure somebody, whoever’s listening because I feel like God is telling me to say this. Maybe you don’t know who you are.

Justine Wenzel 17:19
After I went through a childhood season of abuse, as I was becoming a young adult, and even all through my 20s until I actually broke the silence. I was 30 years old. I lived over at that point, like almost 20 years in silence about what had happened to me. And to be honest with you, I was in, I was having panic attacks. I was always questioning everything. I didn’t feel secure in any decision I was making. I didn’t feel like I could trust other people like we kind of talked about, but I think that that’s what I struggle with the most if I really were looking at is I didn’t feel like I knew myself. I remember literally being in tears and being like I don’t know who I am. The only thing I know is what people have told me and what people had told me was that I was an extrovert and then I talked a lot and that I made them uncomfortable sometimes because they were more introverted.

Justine Wenzel 17:24
And I really let the things that other people were saying about me because you know, like someone could give you 10 Compliments but then they have one criticism and the criticism is what you’ll always remember. That’s what the enemy will try to latch on to and try to literally try to basically brainwash you to think that that’s really who you are, and that there’s a problem with who you are and that you need to change who you are and that you’re not good enough. And, you know, one of the things that always bothers me is when people say I am enough and I just want to challenge that because I don’t really believe that I am enough. I feel like if I were enough, I wouldn’t need Jesus.

Justine Wenzel 18:43
So I had to sit and look at myself and say, No, I’m not enough, you know, and that’s okay. It’s okay that I’m not enough. Because this is why I need Jesus in my life. This is why I need Him to guide my thoughts and my path because I didn’t feel confident in my path. And that was really what started my podcast. Like if I were to say who was the person that is listening to my podcast that I feel like I was speaking to? I was speaking to who I was. I didn’t feel confident in myself. I didn’t feel confident in my life path. I was like, Am I making the right decisions? How do I know there’s so much noise in the world? I don’t feel like I can hear God’s clear prompting because I feel like I can’t hear His voice. I feel like I don’t know who I am and what I’m good at.

Justine Wenzel 19:22
And so, you know, like, without getting too much into that maybe you’re feeling that way. Maybe the thought of doing a self-assessment gives you a lot of anxiety because you’re like, I don’t know, I don’t know what I’m good at. And I think if that’s the way that you’re feeling that’s the best opportunity right there for you to focus and draw in to God like a magnet. Right? Like a moth to a flame, you’re just like okay, yep, surrender, and I’m getting there. Because if you go in and just say, You know what, God, I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m going to surrender all of this to you. I don’t know who I am. I need you to help teach me who I am. I know you’ve called me, but I’m unsure of the calling. I’m unsure of why I’m here.

Justine Wenzel 20:06
And I really believed for a long time that like I had one specific purpose. You know, I was kind of that person that like, I don’t know if you’ve ever seen, my mom makes on me every time I bring this up, but I had watched the movie Simon Birch, which if you haven’t seen the movie, Simon birch like seriously, you need to see it because it is incredible. But in the movie, I’m not gonna give it away. But in the movie Simon birch figures out he’s this kid and he figures out his ultimate purpose and it’s this really dramatic purpose of like him, like doing something really grand. And somehow I got it in my head when I was young. And this is what’s also important too, is you want to dial back and think to yourself, What are the things that I came to believe? Are those true? Or were those just reinforced because of positive and evident negative experiences that I lived in?

Justine Wenzel 20:53
And for whatever reason, I caught on quickly in a young age that that was what your purpose was, that it was grand that it was exciting that it was this adventure that it was you saving a whole bunch of people and like having this giant moment of courage like you’re scaling down, you know, a building in New York City and you’re like saving people like because there’s a fire, I really did believe that that was the purpose that God had for me. I could feel that it was big, but I didn’t know what it was. And what I’ve come to find out and growing in confidence with my father is that it’s not one thing.

Justine Wenzel 21:30
God’s purpose could be as simple as your purpose is to use the gifts I’ve given you of humor, and to be straight up with people and to be honest and raw with people and to draw them to Me and to put a spotlight on Me. To use the crazy stories that happened in your life to draw people to Me, you know, like one of the things I’ve realized is I do have a big mouth, and God knows that because that’s like people may criticize that but at the same time I’ve had to be at peace with God called me to that. If he wanted me to be different, He would have made me different. He didn’t make me different.

Justine Wenzel 22:02
So stop allowing other people to steal those seeds and plant those seeds I should moreso say of doubt in your spirit about who He’s called you to be and why because he uses my talkative loud voice. I used to not like my voice and now it’s the thing that people compliment me on all the time on my podcast which I crack up over because I’m like, I hated my voice my entire life. I got made fun of for my voice my entire life. Like it’s just it’s funny that the things that you give power to and the things that you listen to, and how they direct your path. And are you living one with the world? Or are you living for the approval of your father? And you really have to ask yourself that hard question, but then you also have to look at the fruit. If I’m learning from my father, then I wouldn’t allow other people to steal my identity from me. But are you? So you know, I think it’s very uncomfortable.

Justine Wenzel 22:57
And I know that was kind of like a long answer, but I feel like there’s a lot of nuggets in there because people just have to understand that like it’s uncomfortable. It is anxiety-inducing to say I have to dig into some really hard questions. And I have to push past what is normal in the world today. And I have to push past comparison because everything is out for me to see on social media. And it’s a daily battle of trying to figure out do I even feel better from looking at this? Or do I feel worse as it’s draining my energy? Like what is it? So I think, you know, we have to ask ourselves those really difficult questions, but we have to be willing to get uncomfortable. You have to anticipate and expect that getting to the other side means that you’re going through uncomfortable in a season. Like it’s not going to be like Oh, this feels great to grow. This is so exciting and fun. You know?

Sasha Star Robertson 23:56
Yes. Growing doesn’t feel great. A lot of times, right. It’s a duality, right? You go through the hard stuff so that you can come out better on the other side, and stronger and more courageous and more competent. And I love that you had talked about we have to challenge those beliefs and like where do they come? From? And do we actually believe them? Or have we been led to believe them from circumstances or what people said or even our own confirmation bias that says yes, this is true, believe this? And I love that you had brought this up the whole I am enough because it grinds my gears every time I hear somebody say that. No, you’re not and the only reason that you are is because of Christ. Right? If you’re a believer you have to have that surrender and there are a lot of people that I know that will disagree with that like you are enough, you have everything that you need. When you have Christ.

Justine Wenzel 24:50
Yeah, yeah. You are enough in Christ. So, I feel like there just needs to be a like a fill in the blank. You know, like when you see those things, and they like cross it out or something. It should just be like I am enough in Christ. That’s what it should be. That’s the complete sentence right there if you’re looking for it, and again, I know that that’s probably going to rub some people the wrong way cuz they’re gonna be like, well, that’s not empowerment. Well, guess what? I operate through the approval of only one person.

Justine Wenzel 25:17
And I’m not really concerned about anything else outside of that because I’ve lived my life for over 30 years now realizing that I gave my power away to every single person who I felt like had something that I was craving, and I was going to them for the things that I needed to be going to God for. And that was one of the biggest things that was illuminated to me is that I was focusing way too much of the ways of the world and what people had to say and putting all my trust and security in like, well, she thinks I’m this or she doesn’t think I’m this, and do I need to change and, you know, having all of this self-doubt and this crisis of confidence that was totally unnecessary. If I just dig into the person who knew me and who made me.

Sasha Star Robertson 26:00
Yeah, to me, it is empowerment, and it is empowering, and I challenge anybody who thinks that the whole like I am not enough or I am enough in Christ, like not being empowering. Like, what is it in you that believes that because to me when I accept that, and I believe that as truth, it takes so much weight off of me and pressure and questioning about who I am. Because I know. And it’s the same thing like worthiness, right? Self-worth is a huge thing for me. And I actually, I created a sticker designed a sticker and like you can buy it in my shop, but it says I am worthy in Christ and it’s the same thing like I am enough in Christ because we can’t forget that and it’s a great reminder. And really when I dug into and did this exploratory couple of hours on worthiness and worth and self-worth, like where does it come from?

Sasha Star Robertson 26:56
There’s nothing in scripture that says you alone in your own strength and your own understanding is worthy period. You are only worthy because of Christ and when you surrender to Him and the power of Him and what he’s done for us and so, super, super huge topic. You had also touched on really like that reclaiming your confidence in who you are and the whole question of like, what other people have said about you right, because like you and I we relate in that area going through these childhood traumas and, and this self-discovery phase, right. I was in that same space, was like I don’t even know who I am. I can’t even trust my decisions. And all of that stuff, panic attacks like and coming back to that I don’t know who I am, and it was like, it did make me feel pressure and questioning.

Sasha Star Robertson 27:46
But I love that you gave that permission and reassurance that you don’t have to and you can like draw near to God to have those questions answered. And I love that you brought it up because I just double-checked, episode 43 of your podcast, the Courage Queen podcast, you and I just jumped on a zoom call and we were just having a really great conversation about this. And you’re like, Hold on, I need to be recording this.

Justine Wenzel 28:09
I’m like, hold up. We’re just gonna do a quick record. Because this is like, God is like in the moment with us right now. Like basically sitting down and having Starbucks with us. And it’s getting real, so let’s just do it.

Sasha Star Robertson 28:21
It was great, super, super powerful. Well, I love everything that you had to share. I love that you had asked too, like where is your space where God connects with you? I love that you said the shower. Like I was thinking about that and like instantly, my response came “water”. Like he connects with me in the water. Like some of the greatest downloads that I’ve received have been when I’m in the bathtub because I’m super like I’m naked. I’m vulnerable, right like, like God is able to see me right now like not just see me physically but like my heart and he knows like my desires and he knows my worries and my fears. But so my greatest downloads have come in the bathtub, other ones while I’m swimming, and then I remember one of my greatest ones was in the shower where God had just like gave me the picture of my testimony. Like from his eyes look, this is if you could put a physical picture of what happened.

Sasha Star Robertson 29:19
And it was just it was beautiful. And so for me, it was like I believe that God took all of these icky parts of my childhood trauma and lock them in a box. Like way back in the back of the filing system, where it’s like anytime like something would sneak out. It was just like nope, that’s too bad. It’s a lie. Put it away. You know, we can’t deal with that right now. So it was like a coping mechanism, like this natural response that my body had. But then God waited to open that box until like His hands were right here to catch me and he knew when I fell it was going to be into His arms not into like severe addiction and self-harm, all these other things.

Sasha Star Robertson 29:26
Which like addiction was part of my story. I was stuck in that for a while. But God delivered me from that, too. So huge Amen there! But like that was one of my biggest like, I guess shifts in my relationship with Him was allowing him to repaint that story and that picture for me, and it was in the shower and so I love that you had brought that up because it’s, it’s cool and I encourage everyone that’s listening to ask yourself that question, where is it for you and then sit in that space more like take longer showers, if it’s in the shower, if it’s in the bath, like take more baths. If it’s in your closet, you know when you’re just sitting in there on your knees, prioritize spending more time in there and just connect with Him, for Him to really uncover who you are, and so much, everything comes from that, your gifts, your passions, how you’re able to step out in the world, your confidence, your courage, and really, what you’re able to do, as, you know, measly ole Sasha or Justine to have Kingdom impact and truly do the good work that He created you for.

Sasha Star Robertson 30:45
One thing I want to touch on Justine, is like I know you’ve been through like really hard stuff and hard seasons. And you’re another one of those that you had said right now just more like a season of growing and growth and stepping out of your comfort zone. What you had mentioned before, do you want to touch briefly on like, what does this look like or feel like for you right now to like step forward and make an investment and lean in and then go to this like next level of growth for yourself?

Justine Wenzel 31:22
Yeah, I’m so glad that you asked that. And I just want to touch on one visual that God just gave me that has me cracking up right now. For whatever reason. I don’t even know. It’s just funny to me, but so, you know, like doing a trust fall. So you wouldn’t just like, you wouldn’t just do a trust fall just like in the middle of like the street or literally in general. You wouldn’t do a trust fall without knowing that someone was going to be there to catch you like think about when you were little and you did a trust fall and you’re like alright, yeah, you got it and if there was like that moment of fear, we’re like, but what if they don’t catch me? What if they dropped me? Like, what if they get distracted? Like they’re like, you know, all the fears. So why do we do that in life?

Justine Wenzel 31:52
But God just gave me this visual of why do we just… It’s literally like we walk through life and we’re doing a trust fall, but we’re not clearing it with God so that he can catch us. So God is willing to let us fall on our face or fall on our back because that’s how we learn and that’s how we grow. And it hurts. It physically actually hurts if you were to do that. So why do we do that in our lives? Like why do we just openly we’re like, Alright, I’m gonna trust fall and then you go back and you just somehow think that God’s just going to always come to your rescue, and I’m not saying that He’s not going to, but I’m saying, we need to operate in a way where we are in direct communication with Him to be, Okay, God, I’m taking the step. You know, maybe the step to invest in your business. Maybe that’s a trust fall. Maybe the step to focus on your finances, make different choices, and say no, so that, you know, Craig Groeschel would always say that I love you know, discipline is saying no to something you want right now for something that you want most, that you can say yes to what you want most.

Justine Wenzel 32:53
And I kind of think of it that way. Like how you know, you’re not just going to go into this like willy nilly and just be like, No, I’m good. I can do this on my own strength. I don’t need someone to catch me in my trust fall because I’m going to catch myself. I mean, just think about how silly that even sounds, you know what I mean? So I don’t know I just wanted to share that. It’s super ridiculous but I just feel like God, because I’m a humorous person, God speaks to me in these funny situations and I feel like then I need to share with the world but anyways,

Sasha Star Robertson 33:21
It makes me think of Philippians 4:13 When you said that because it is like just like the “I am enough,” right? I feel like this is a scripture verse that people use out of context all the time. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Okay, through Christ, Yes. But not when you’re doing stupid stuff.

Justine Wenzel 33:40
Just because you can doesn’t always mean you should either. Okay, repeat your question one more time, actually, because I really want to make sure I get into this.

Justine Wenzel 33:48
You are talking about, you know, digging into hard stuff like you’re in kind of this challenging season. This hard, difficult season because you’re in this major season of growth right now.

Justine Wenzel 33:50
Yeah. So the biggest thing that comes to mind with you asking that is I had this girl on my podcast recently. And she created a visual for me, I’m a very visual person. So she created this visual for me that was basically like, you’re at a different season with God. And you have to ask God what season you’re in. And she gave me this visual of like, literally the seasons and the fact that they don’t necessarily go in order. So you have to ask God, what season you’re in. And what does that mean?

Justine Wenzel 34:30
So she gave these really powerful visuals that were like, Okay, maybe you’re in a winter season. So from the outside, it’s cold, it’s barren, there’s isolate, mission, it’s more about going within and then you know, fall is you know, things are changing. You’re in transition. Like she gave all these really great examples. And then, you know, summer is like kind of fun. That would be essentially like you’re in your winning season. Everything is lush, everything’s colorful, it’s vibrant. Everything’s outwardly exposed and shown. And so when she came on my podcast and was talking about that, something really stuck with me because I started being like, I’ve never even thought of my life that way. I’ve never even thought to even asked God that. I was actually pretty blown away with how much of an impact that’s made on my life.

Justine Wenzel 35:16
And so I decided that I was going to dig into that and I said to God, I said, God, what season am I in right now? And then she also suggested asking, What season amount of going into what season are you preparing me for? And one of the things that I felt like God had spoken to me is that I have been in a season of winter for a long time. Most of COVID has been winter for me, because I’ve had to go in, you know, one of the best things because of this whole experience was that I couldn’t have busyness and busyness as a coping mechanism, and hanging out with people and forgetting about what was going on in my head because I didn’t want to deal with it. I just chose to jump in 100% and be like, Okay, God, there’s no time like the present. I’m not going anywhere. I’m not doing anything. And in a way, it was God’s perfect timing, but obviously, we’re coming out of that season.

Justine Wenzel 36:07
So you’re going to have to like come up against some of these again, hard questions, situations to say like, do I really want to get to the other side? Because if I do, it’s not going to be easy. I’m going to go through a season probably of isolation. I’m going to be crying a lot. I’m going to have to readjust the way that I’m working in the way that I take care of myself in order to supplement and create this balance that’s necessary for when we’re healing. You know, there’s so much emotional output that I was like, Okay, I’m in this winter season, so I have to say no to a lot. And I had to be okay with that because that was very not my nature.

Justine Wenzel 36:44
And then I asked God, okay, what season Am I in now? And God kind of started showing me like you’re in you’re going into spring season. And guess what spring season is new things popping up? new, beautiful and you know, beautiful flowers popping up? You know, you’re watering and you’re waiting for things to bloom and to push through the hard season into something new and so God kind of gave me in 2022 just crossing over that my verse is all about trusting. My verse is all about I’m creating a new thing. My verse is, see I am doing a new thing. And focusing on suddenly you know, it’s time to start something new. And trust the magic of new beginnings.

Justine Wenzel 37:24
And that’s really what I’m living by because God has shown me that seasons are seasons, they don’t necessarily go in order. But I feel a lot more equipped. You know, He equips the called and I feel a lot more equipped at this stage in my life, to be able to take on any struggle and to be able to look at it in terms of exactly how he says in His word. I can look at it with joy, knowing that he’s refining me knowing that he cares and loves me enough. It’s kind of like when you have a coach that they don’t just allow you to just skate on by and do whatever you want. They are hard on you because they love you. And that’s how our Father is. He loves you. He’s hard on you sometimes because He wants you to push through.

Justine Wenzel 38:04
And so look at it as God loves me so much that He’s willing to take me through this season with Him by my side because He knows what the fruit will produce. And so it’s been really, you know, exciting. I feel like I’ve been very excited for the first time in a long time because I feel like I needed that reviving so desperately I needed that living water. And it was a really, really dry season for a really long time. I’m going to say almost two years of my healing journey and I started the podcast about a year in after I really felt like I really experienced true healing, you know, and then God had some surprises along the way where He was like, but are you healed though? Like, let’s just like, let’s just like poke this bruise a little bit and like see what’s happening there.

Justine Wenzel 38:47
And there were situations where I would be like, oh, I’m fine. I’m great. Like I don’t need to like rework any of this stuff. And then something would happen. And it was like somebody was poking that bruise and exposing it again. And then I had to say, okay, I can either be annoyed by this, or I can choose to say, You know what work is, you know, school’s never out for the Pro. There’s still plenty I can learn. And he’s equipping me to help reach more people. When I get to the fullness of you know, it’s not a completion. I’m not like getting to the end of it. I’m continuing to dig into Him so that I can become more like Him every day and help serve other people with the gifts that he’s given me. And I’m just really grateful that I’ve gotten to that place because, to be honest with you, I didn’t know that that place was possible. I would have never dreamed that that place was possible to be in. I was in a really, really dark, dark season.

Justine Wenzel 39:37
And, you know, just to kind of tie it all up. I just want to just encourage whoever’s listening to this that your story is not wasted. Your pain is not going to be wasted. God is doing a new thing. And it may seem like you’re alone, or you can’t hear His voice. It may seem like it’s distant like He’s holding you at an arm’s length. And like, you’re yelling and you’re like, who’s coming for me? God, where are you? There were a lot of moments like that. And I’m just going to tell you that it was the daily showing up every day regardless of what the circumstances looked like. Just because I didn’t hear His voice, I kept digging in and trusting and knowing like this is all part of the process for me. And I’m chosen and appointed to bear fruit. And it’s not going to be pretty but it’s going to be worth it and we’re like diamonds, you know, like God, God is the amount of refining that happens. Consider it a gift that God loves you that much.

Sasha Star Robertson 40:53
Yeah, amazing. Amazing. He loves you enough to refine you. You are chosen and appointed to bear fruit. I love it. I have nothing to add. That was a powerful ending here today. Justine, thank you so much for being on the podcast with us. I just know so many people are gonna benefit from this. I’ve got an entire page of messy, messy notes here. That that I’m going to be taking away questions I can ask myself, some thought shifts that took place here, and then also just encouragement to, to dig in and lean in and cling to the Lord. And you are chosen and appointed to bear fruit. Powerful. Thank you so much.

Justine Wenzel 41:39
Thank you so much, Sasha.