029: Tips on How to be a Good Steward of your Financial Resources… and Kate’s Journey to Becoming a Dave Ramsey Certified Financial Coach

Summary

From Theatre Major to MBA… from Accountant for State Government to Dave Ramsey Certified Financial Coach… This mom of two is on a mission to empower woman with their finances. To help them achieve their goals by getting out of debt, creating a budget or just taking that first step to understand their relationship with money.

Listen in as Kate Maness shares about her journey about God calling her for years to start a business of her own after years (and years) of praying for Him to reveal to her what on earth she is supposed to do. Then hearing God clearly tell her that she is going to have to create the empowering environment that she has been seeking most of her professional life.

Kate Maness shares a few tips on how we can be good stewards and manage our financial resources well, but also about how she can come along side women and couples to coaching them through not just financial goals, but also through the emotional ties money can come with. 

For more information or to connect with Kate jump into her Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/855032248781952/ 

— Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intentional-abundance/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/intentional-abundance/support

Transcription

Sasha Star Robertson 0:12
Hello sisters, and welcome back for another episode of the intentional abundant life Podcast. I’m super excited to share today’s guest with you. She actually used to be my boss, didn’t tell her I was going to introduce her that way. But she is a strong, independent woman who is married to her college sweetheart. She has two adorable little ones. Aria, who is five years old, and Tyler, who is seven months old. She is the owner and founder of Maness financial, and also works full time as an accountant with the state of Alaska. So Kate, any more introduction that you would like to give us?

Kate Maness 0:51
Thank you so much, Sasha, I just thank you so much also for having me on the podcast. I really appreciate it. Yeah, so I, I did used to be Sasha’s boss. And the state of Alaska. So yeah, we’ve lived in the state for oh my gosh, it’s gonna be 10 years. 10 years, this? July, August, I think. Yeah. So we came from Virginia, and decided on our on a honeymoon or Alaskan honeymoon, on the cruise that we were like, Yeah, we could do this. So we say like, literally on the cruise. So when we got home, we decided to like, save all our money. It took two years. My husband was a police officer at the time, and I was working as a manager of a country club. And finishing up, I have my master’s degree in business. And I needed to finish that up as well. Before we could pick up everything and drive took us like 22 days. But yeah, so we got to Alaska, and the rest was history.

Sasha Star Robertson 1:58
Awesome. I love that. 22 days, it’s like that’s quite an adventure. I’ve done the drive multiple times, and never have I been afforded that much time. But I hope to one day, but it’s so funny because I feel like I just threw that thing about, like used to be my boss. And I feel like I’ve mentioned here on the podcast before, but maybe not. But in other places like in my introduction, other places, whatever. There’s a story about like, I left my job, and Kate you remember this. I got this promotion, then had to turn it down and instead give you my two weeks notice because I was going to be a mom and just like, and then three months later I’m like, What am I doing as a mom? So it’s a huge part of my story of how I got here to where I am today like with Intentional Abundance Co so now I have proof. Thanks for coming on.

Kate Maness 3:04
It happens. Everybody it happens.

Sasha Star Robertson 3:06
Yes. So, you obviously have your master’s in business, right? You have an MBA. You work as an accountant for the state. How did Maness financial come into existence?

Kate Maness 3:29
Yeah, so I have been wanting to do my own thing, or I just never felt fulfilled. Like even in grad school. When I was in, I remember I was, it was my first class in grad school. I had no idea what I wanted to do. I got an undergrad in theater. And the only reason why I got an undergrad in theater is because literally when it was time to declare your major at the end of sophomore year, they’re like, so what do you want to do? And I was like, I have no earthly idea. And then my counselor looked at my tram or what I had been taking. And she was like, Oh, you’re like three classes away from like, getting a degree in theater. And I was like done. Sold. Like, I’ll just do that. I had taken so many theater courses that I was done and literally, for my senior year, I think I took like backpacking, camping. My friend was like, if you could have taken underwater basket weaving you probably would have, and I was like, yeah, probably. Still, I just didn’t it was just kind of like presented like I just kind of fell into it. And so you know, I was an actress I did that I, you know, I acted on the stage in Florida, but I just didn’t feel like that was gonna pay the bills. And so I knew I needed to take the next step which was for me grad school.

And when I was in grad school, I was in a human resources course and we had to talk about, like what we wanted to be or what we were. And I asked the professor, I was like, Well, what do you think about being a professor? Do you like doing that? He was like, Yeah, I do. But like, you should probably like, I don’t know, you’re good at math, like maybe accounting. And so that’s where that was kind of born. Like, he was like, if you want to be a professor, I would recommend you doing it in accounting because like, they need accounting professors. And so I kind of just went down that road, I finished with my master’s degree. And after graduate school, I went back and took 24 credit hours, because you had to do that for the CPA exam. And when I got to Alaska, honestly, I was prepared to like, bag groceries. I had no idea. Like, we drove up here, we quit our jobs, you know, like, we had no idea what we’re gonna do. And I was like, I’ll find something. And I did, I ended up working at trader college as a financial, I worked in financial aid.

And so I want I don’t know, just every step from there seemed to kind of be accounting, but I changed jobs every couple of years because I was still trying to find that, that job that I was on fire for, you know, just got excited to be at work, you know, you wanted to be there and nothing. It wasn’t for lack of trying, I mean, literally, every two years, I have switched jobs, except for the job that I’m in now. And, you know, I just felt this tugging from God, honestly, you’re gonna have to create that environment that you want, so desperately to be part of, because this isn’t working for you. And so I didn’t know what it was. So I was like, Okay, so now I’m supposed to go out and do something. I’m supposed to create my own business, but like, what am I supposed to do? And so again, I like, you know, I tried all the things and I’m good at sewing. Maybe I’ll have an online business of like, you know, cross stitching, you know, that didn’t like, I never really, like, pursued that super far, because it’s more of a hobby. And I didn’t want to, like hate it. By making a job. And then like, I was like, a volleyball coach. And, you know, I love that. But again, that wasn’t like a full-time opportunity for me.

And so I, you know, I identified with Dave Ramsey, I started taking, I went to church one day out in Eagle River. And it was that day that they talked about Financial Peace University. And I was like, yeah, like, I really should probably get my finances in order, you know, I’m an adult, like, this is something adults do. You know, and I mean, my parents are very savvy with their money, but they weren’t very on the teaching side of things. Like I went to college. And I had to ask my RA how to write a check. I was like I don’t know how to do this, like, where do you put what like, and like, you know, those are things I feel like people should know. And, you know, like, we assume, you know, society assumes that you like, get that education from home. And so, you know, I went down the road of Dave Ramsey, I went through financial peace actually twice. And I started listening to his podcasts and getting more involved.

And then a friend of mine who I actually coached volleyball with became a financial coach. And I was like, this is a thing? Like, that’s like a profession? So I contacted him and I was like, So tell me more about this. Like, you’re not an advisor, because an advisor, you have to get like your series 66 or series 65 and all those sort-of patients and I don’t want to deal with retirement and like, what is this? And he was like, Well, yeah, like, this is more on the day-to-day level. This is more on the like, you know, helping people like build a budget, you know, identify like goals and that type of thing. And I was like, that’s me, like, I am money goal-driven. I, you know, like, I want to help people that’s a huge need for me is to help others. So I started I asked him questions, and he had actually gone through Dave Ramsey has a program to, it’s a certification, I guess, for I say, I guess because they specifically say it’s not a certification, but like, it is a certification. But like, I went through the whole thing, I got my certificate at the end. But yeah, so I’m certified, as you know, Dave Ramsey financial coach. And it was just, it was super, like just learning all the things to be in that field. And, and I was able to connect it back. I mean, I’ve had 10 years of accounting experience. I’ve done multi-million dollar budgets for the government. You know, I just, that was something I was interested in, but again, it was lacking in the sense of feeling passionate about what I did.

And so I just as Sasha just said, I just had a baby. So not that I had extra time or anything, but during my maternity leave, I was like, Oh, I’ve got three and a half months off my day job. Maybe this will be a good time to like, start pursuing this. I took the time and, you know, carried the baby to like all the things I had to do to set up a business. Yeah, that’s kind of where we’re at.

Sasha Star Robertson 10:27
That is awesome. I love that you’re like, I have time off my day job. Let me jump into this new certification thing, just carry the baby to all the things. Literally, I love that like that is so empowering. Right there. Like just to know, I feel like that was very much like the zero to three months of being a mom, for me. I was like, I don’t want to say in a similar space, right? Because you had kind of already been like, doing this up, you had your job to go back to. But for me, like, I had left my job. And then that adoption actually fell through. And so it was another a little over a month, maybe even two months later, before I became a mom, right? We got matched with our son’s birth parents and brought him home. And then it was like three months in and I was like, wow, I had a career. Like I was actually utilizing my degree, I was engaging with adults. I was like, receiving promotions, like, and now I just changed diapers and play peekaboo. What is this? So it was very much this, like, I was searching right for that thing that to bring that fire and that passion like back into me like Yes, my son was that I love him to pieces. Like I wouldn’t trade it for anything. That was the job I begged for 10 years for. But at the same time, there was just this part of me, the intellectual and driven part of me that was like, what is happening? And so I was searching for that thing. And I felt a tugging from God, like a few different little times. So very similar story.

And I just love how you had shared that, like how he said, You’re going to have to create that. And I’m like, Wow, that’s so true for so many of us where it’s like, I feel like we it’s almost like we give the medicine that we want to receive right like you want this workplace or this environment where people can feel like empowered, and all these other things. And it’s just like, difficult to find that. And so I love that, that you found this because I do hear that. And you’ve said it before that like helping people is really important to you, obviously, like you’re good with numbers, like, into the finances has been the thing.

I love that you mentioned, like, Okay, I’m an adult, like I should probably get my finances in order now, I wrote down like hashtag adulting. But you had put in your description up here that you want to empower women with their finances to help them achieve their goals and getting out of debt, creating a budget, or even just taking that first step to help them understand their relationship with money. And I think all three of those things are really, really huge, especially if anyone has ever listened to Dave Ramsey or been through Financial Peace University, like he’s very, very big about not being in debt. And about the best way to create wealth is to use, like the income that you’re receiving the money that you’re earning, like, so many in America, I feel like hang on to this, like, get rich quick idea was like, Oh, I’ll pay it off later, or I’ll buy that later, or whatever else when I win the lottery that I’m never playing, or you know, when my great, great uncle dies, and I inherit money that doesn’t exist. And so I think it’s really important to be really good stewards of our money as well. So I don’t know if there’s anything I said you want to…

Kate Maness 13:52
I do actually want to expand a little bit on the empowering women. Like, you know, mostly when I got into this, I was kind of like thinking about what my target audience was right? Because you kind of think about who you’re gearing towards, so that you can market it to them or whatever. And at first, like I wanted to be a wedding planner. Again, I’m all over the place. That’s okay. I like all the things. But yeah, I have done wedding planning. So I am a jack of all trades. But it was the budget component of the wedding planning that I was a stickler on. And like, I mean when I was helping these brides, they were like, you’re really fixated on this money. Like you gave me a budget. We have to stick within budget. Like you’ve got all these grandiose ideas, and I think that’s fantastic and wonderful and we can do all these things and I’ve got these books that have like budgeting for weddings and yada yada. But I was like, we’ve got $5,000. Having Cinderella’s castle in the background probably isn’t in the budget, you know, and like, I wasn’t trying to be a party pooper but I also was like, you know, the realistic unfortunate voice sometimes of reason. And I was like, I don’t think that’s going to be a thing that we’re going to be able to do. But I identified that that was also my, like my strong point, right? Like, you probably didn’t hire a wedding planner to keep you on budget, right? They work off the percentage, usually of how much your wedding is. So sure, let’s have a $30,000 wedding so I can get the 10% whatever of that.

So I identified that. And at the beginning, I was like, I would really like to market towards engaged couples because money is also one of the top reasons why people get divorced. And so like, if I could have like a product or, you know, go to wedding next rows and set up booths or whatever. Again, I don’t think brides are, you know, and I don’t know, you know, maybe they wouldn’t mind talking to me at a wedding expo next to flowers and the cake and be like, how much do you have to spend on that, like, you know, the parents of the bride or the groom, or the whoever’s paying for it might be like, yeah this might be a good thing as a wedding gift to like, start the couple off. And like get them set up on the right track, like you’re merging your finances. What does that look like? What are you bringing to the table? What conversations are hard for you to be able to talk about? Oh, you didn’t know she had $20,000 on her credit card. And you’re about to marry into that? What does that look like for you? How does that make you feel? Like these are the tough conversations that people don’t want to have.

Or, you know, those Lexus commercials, those are my favorite. Hey Honey, I just bought you a Lexus for Christmas! And you look surprised. Did you know the price tag on that? It’s about $700 a month, I hope we have it in our budget! You know, having those conversations with everybody and like, I don’t mind being the tough cookie, who has to get in there and have those conversations and be like, What are you bringing to the table? How does this make you feel? What are your goals? And then I’m the quote-unquote, bad guy? Yeah, don’t like me, but like, like your spouse, but like, be mad at me. That’s fine. But like, I mean, that, I mean, obviously, I want us to have a good relationship, but I’m also okay with like having those tough conversations. But then on that note, when I get to the empowering women component, I was thinking about, I’ve helped, you know, an older woman who has gone through a divorce. And she said, that was the most stressful thing, not only the divorce in and of itself is terrible, they’ve been married for 40 years. And, you know, unfortunately, you know, they decided to separate ways and, and that in and of itself is devastating. And it has its own baggage. But when I talked to the woman, and her main concerns when she was speaking with me is I never knew what was going on with the finances. I had no idea, he handled everything. You know, I don’t, I don’t even know where to begin. And that, to me, made this situation nearly impossible for me, which caused a massive breakdown. And this, that, and the other.

So like, you know, when I say empowering women, I mean, giving them the ability to feel like they’re not stuck in a relationship, just because even if it’s not the right one, I don’t say divorce is a good thing, but if it, you know, if you decided this is not for you, and you can’t do it anymore, you know, finances should not be the reason why you’re in that relationship, you know, because you’re scared because you don’t understand, and so helping, and I feel like women are more in that situation than men, and I’ve talked to, you know, I had another conversation with a friend of mine, and the money would just go out the door, like, you know, her spouse made a lot of money, and they would just spend it. And then at the end of the month, they wouldn’t have enough money for diapers. And I’m like, you’re making good money, like what’s going on? Like, you know, and so coaching is also talking about the emotional component to money, and what that looks like for you and how you’re spending it. And that’s why financial advisors are great, you know they help you set up, you know, your retirement long term long distance, but like we’re talking about today, like, I can’t get there until I fix my problems now.

And so that’s why I want to like, you know when we have these coaching meetings, and if you’re in a relationship, it’s best to have both parties. But I, I don’t want the woman to feel like she has to do this alone. If she’s the one that wants to get on board and she wants to have the conversation with me. I’m all for it because I can help you. You know, any questions are not too small or too big. Like we can talk about all the things, and I just had a different client who is debt-free, which is fantastic. But, you know, wasn’t aware of what sinking funds were. And so we had a conversation about sinking funds and made sure we set those up for her, you know, moving forward, and so, I just, I want to make sure that women have all the tools they need to be as successful, and be who they want to be, and not be held back. Because, you know, of not having the opportunity to learn these things or, or just not being exposed to it or, you know, not understanding it, it’s hard, like, some of it is complicated it, you know, like, and it’s so emotional. And so, when we have things that are hard, that are emotional, that we don’t want to deal with, guess what, you don’t deal with that. And then it gets bigger and we pretend like it’s not there. And then it becomes from like, a little molehill or whatever, until this like, massive mountain.

Sasha Star Robertson 21:12
Yes, yes. Yes. So I have so many things I want to say to this, but first, for people who are listening, can you give us like a 101? Like elementary level? What is a sinking fund? Because there might be some conflict going on in people? Like she said, this, I don’t know what it is, I need to go to Google searching and pause this and not come back.

Kate Maness 21:32
Yeah, so I guess so a sinking fund, I guess the easiest way to describe it is if you have, you know, let’s just say perfect world, you’ve paid off all your debt, right? And your car needs to be upgraded. So you’ve paid off all your debt, are you going to go to the dealership and take out a $20,000 loan and put you back in debt? No, you’re going to set up what is called as a sinking fund. And so every month, you’re gonna take $200, and you’re gonna put it into an account, and you’re gonna label it. So you can have like multiple sinking funds, you can have one for like a car, or like a vacation, or, you know, you have to pay your insurance once a year. But if it’s a hefty bill, so we’re gonna go ahead and put a percentage of that every month. So instead of having like, all these accounts, you have one account that is for your sinking fund. And we’re gonna make it super easy. You have a legal pad, and you write down all of the accounts, all of the things like new car, insurance. What else did I say, you know, anything that’s, you know, you don’t want to do all at once a vacation. And so when you put the 200 in you’re just going to add it onto the list. And so when it’s time to go purchase your vehicle, you have it right there, how much money do I have to purchase this car? Okay, great, I have my $20,000 I can take it out, I leave the rest of it in the accounts, I can pay my insurance so that I can go on that beautiful, you know, Bali vacation that I wanted to go on whatever, but that’s what a sinking fund is.

Sasha Star Robertson 23:03
Love it. So people always ask or want to make comments about how we travel a lot like it’s one of our passions. This is like a firm belief of mine, travel’s the only thing that you can spend money on that makes you richer, like you’re building experiences together as a family that are building memories that shaped the person that you are. And so like we do, we save for our vacations, like it’s something we prioritize instead of keeping up with the Joneses and certain things like we don’t have an iPhone 12 even because we would rather spend the extra money every month for vacation. So in case anybody’s wondering how to vacation a lot, prioritize it, create it in your budget, save for it first.

So many things about what you said I want to touch on. Like, I’m a stickler about a wedding you had said about like the number one reason people get divorced is money, and like being able to communicate about that. And it’s hard conversations, right? And I remember this like, early, early on in our marriage. I went to see a counselor about… totally it wasn’t marriage-related. I just went to a counselor for I don’t even know what at that point. I don’t even know why. Because, in hindsight, my life got way worse after that. Anyway. The counselor’s asking me Oh, so how’s your relationship? Oh, it’s great. We don’t need to talk about that. Well, so how are your conversations about family and children? Oh, we don’t talk about that. Because my husband did not want to talk about kids at that time. Well, how’s your relationship about money? Oh, we don’t talk about that. I paid my husband rent.

It was so bad because we just did not have those money conversations at first. And honestly, I think it was like, just about, almost a year or just after a year into our marriage, like, we were living in England. And he asked me what I wanted for my birthday. And I told him a plane ticket home because I didn’t want to be in the relationship anymore, because I was scolded for spending $86 at the grocery store one day, because I’m like, I didn’t have a job like I was fully dependent on him. I was in a foreign country. But like, our finances were so separate, and we didn’t talk about it. And it was like, we had so much work to do to get where we’re at right now. We’re also going through Financial Peace University for the second time. Because we’ve been in that, like, money just runs out the door. If you’re not paying attention, you don’t know where it’s going. And it’s just gone. And so it’s so incredibly important.

And I loved how in Financial Peace University, I don’t know if it was like this when you did it. But I think it’s Rachael Cruz, Dave Ramsey’s daughter, like, she hates budgeting, she’s like, if there’s anything I’m really good at, it’s spending money and shopping. And so it was like six months into their marriage for like, whoa, we need to like talk to dad, figure this out, and make a budget. And I was just like, Oh, my goodness, I’m not alone in that. Right? So anybody else is listening. You are not alone in that either. Like you’re in good hands with Kate here. So I love everything that you had to say. Because so much of it. It’s just so true. And so relevant. And there are so many emotional ties to it.

My husband and I had a really deep, deep financial conversation two weeks ago when we went to Costco for the first time this year. And we had to buy diapers and toilet paper and paper towels and groceries. And then he was like, so upset about like, when when the price came up, like, oh my gosh, that’s like almost all of our grocery budget. And it was like, it was a long 40-minute conversation on the way home about money and just like the emotional ties to it, and everything else. And so it’s so so deep. If we are talking to likely moms on here, right, maybe people who are in this struggle bus with money just going out the window, maybe people finding themselves in positions where we make enough money that I don’t have enough money for diapers, or even women who like you’re saying, you want them to not feel stuck and be able to, like, pour into and spend money on the things that are really important to them. Like, I have a lot of potential clients who are like, I really want to work with you. And I see the results that I could get, but I literally don’t have the money. But it’s like, I’m a firm believer, a lot of us do have the money. It’s just we don’t realize where we’re spending it and what we’re spending it on anyway, what are a couple of tips that you could give us that we can take away and maybe even start doing today that can help us be better stewards of our finances?

Kate Maness 27:50
Sure, so this is gonna, and then when I say this, I can feel the eye rolls, but I promise you, just be mindful. Write everything down. Now I know that Dave Ramsey’s, like, you know, you, you know, don’t use credit cards, use cash, and cash is actually my second tip. But if we’re just focusing, like, if you can’t do three, if you’re like, I can only do one, Kate, what is it? It is: write everything down. So, I mean, if you do use credit cards, you know, go like, cuz if your spouse uses cards, like, well, I don’t know what my spouse uses, and he won’t like write down what he’s using with cash, then yeah, maybe that’s the best way for you guys to do it, then you can look at the… you know, pull up your account every single night and write down what’s been spent, right. And I’m not talking about a budget. I’m not there’s no, there’s no talk of budget in this, is literally write everything down. And I find having a credit card does help because you know, my spouse doesn’t want to write everything down like he just wants to spend. I’m the spender. I fully acknowledge this, you know, there’s the spenders and the Savers, the saver, but he won’t like he’ll go out to lunch and then not tell me it’s fine. I have no problem with the budget, whatever, but write everything down.

Number two is cash. I mean, so yes, this contradicts what I just said. But if you’re able to do cash, I fully like there’s something called the envelope system. And when you do build a budget you take, you know, okay, so like, let’s just say $400 for the month for groceries, you literally go to the bank, you get $400 You put it in the envelope, and that’s all you have. So when you go to the grocery store, when you’re out you can’t just, you don’t whip out your debit card or your credit card or whatever, you put things back. And so you have your little credit card and you look like a nerd. But I promise you I’m right there with you looking like a nerd and I’m okay with this because it helps identify like what you’re spending And then you there is a little bit more of an emotional reaction instead of just swiping, it’s handing over those dollar bills.

Kate Maness 27:59
Dave Ramsey talks a lot about that. That’s why he always carries cash with them. And then the third thing is yeah, like creating a budget. Now, this can be overwhelming to people because they’re like, I don’t even know where to start like, and that’s where I come in. That’s, you know, that’s kind of my role as a financial coach, is what we do in our sessions. So I do have different sessions. We have three, six or nine months sessions like you’re, I meet with you once a month, and depending on kind of how much debt you have, and you know where you are with your financial goals, but I will tell you this, do not get discouraged.

It does not, you cannot create one budget and expect it to be good for every single month. Your birthday isn’t every single month, because we are going to celebrate you, you know, you’re going to make sure that you do you. But like Christmas, that’s not in every single month, so you’re going to not have any money for Christmas. This is a very live document. And so Dave says it takes about three months to really get a budget down and that’s why even if you’re debt-free, my minimum like session grouping is three months because then we have three months together where we can really get to set you know, the first session is called like the discovery session where we kind of talk about the things you know this than the other you do have homework to do. I know homework as adults. But like, you know, we kind of look at where you are and here’s the other thing people are like, well, I don’t know this woman. I don’t want to share my finances with her but I do want tips.

Here’s the thing. I’m here to help you. I’m only here for you, I get like, you succeed. That’s super great. That’s what we’re here for. If you don’t want to share all the details about your income, that’s your personal business and that is 100% completely fine. We can dive as deep in as you want. Or we can stay at the surface level. It’s kind of how much you’re committed and how much kind of you want to, you know, get into, I will say the people who have the most success are the ones who like, you know, bring it all to the table and kind of lay it all out and we go through it. But again, we’ve, I mean I have as I said at the very beginning of this podcast, like my family was, we didn’t really talk about finances, it was just a taboo conversation. I think that you know, my generation I’m 37 right now, you know, we talk a little bit more about I mean, even about salary, like I mean, not in the workplace, but I mean even my friends have had more of those conversations, and I think my parents would never have had that conversation, and again, it’s on people’s comfort levels. And so I completely respect the people who are like, that’s my personal business. I don’t even share that with you. But also, we’re here having a conversation for a reason because you have financial goals and I can help you get there.

Sasha Star Robertson 30:50
Yes. I love that. I love it. I’m a all on the table kind of person. I don’t go to somebody for help, and then like, try and hold parts of it back. Like that’s the surest way in my opinion not to succeed, but I love that you brought that up because I feel like that’s so relevant in a lot of different areas where people will do like, I’m coming to you for help. But I’m still gonna hold on to this little bit over here. Like, this is the part that you can play with. And so really what we’re doing is withholding help, as we’re holding on to control and so but there are people who are are going to come to you like that and who are going to want to operate that. So I love that you already have a solution in place to still help them. Even if that is the situation through it and who knows maybe three months or six months or nine months in, they’ll be like okay, you’ve done really well with this here’s the rest of it, you know, and in find that, that release in that control. Super, super cool. I love these tips because these are things that I like I knew going through Dave Ramsey, I think it was like six years ago. 2016 that we went through it the first time we did really well. We actually decided to put our house for sale at the time because like our house altogether was more expensive than the percentage of income that was recommended or whatever and we’re like, now we have to pay our house off. That seems daunting. Let’s just sell it and then ended up not selling and that’s when we started Airbnb. So it’s like it’s been this whole play out and roll of events that’s turned into something really, really cool for us.

Butit’s been such a great reminder and hearing you say it again is like yep, just reminding me. This is one of the plans that I’m sticking to right, because essentially, going through this program, I’ve been partnered with like a financial coach, and like we’ve made the plan. Now I just have to stick to it. And it’s very simple. And I love that you had pointed out you can’t make a budget once and just like expect it to work. It’s not a month after month, you know same thing. It’s a living document. But also like my husband and I did this last year where we just like sat down and tried to make a budget and then we completely blew it out of the water and we’re like, why bother? And then next thing you know, you look at the credit cards and you’re like, Oh my goodness. So now thankfully we’re approaching it in that different mindset where it’s like, okay, you know, some things are a little bit up here. Like we set a budget for our cars that is kind of like the sinking fund style of like $100 a month for vehicle maintenance, thinking Oh, it’ll add up and then we can buy tires and whatever else. And then my husband sold his car, got a different car. It’s 20-something year old. Car, he needs an alignment. He needs tires, fixing calls these parts, it’s like, we’ve totally blew that line out of the water in terms of our budget this month, but you know what? Now we know and so next month, we can adjust it a little bit better. And so it’s very much a living document and like, it’s about giving yourself grace a little bit too, but having an accountability partner is super, super important. So, Kate, um, if people wanted to reach out to you, do you have a place?

Kate Maness 34:34
You can email me at kmaness@manessfinancial.com. And then I’m also on Facebook. I have like just Maness financial on Facebook. It’s an open group and you can just there’s not a whole lot that I’ve done with it. But it’s like another place to contact me. But yeah, so yeah, I mean phone call or email or, you know, Facebook is probably the best one right now if you just want to kind of look and see a couple of things that I posted and I’m going to try and get that going. More so as we move forward.

Sasha Star Robertson 35:46
Okay, cool. Well, I will certainly include all of this in the show notes so people have a way to reach out to you for any further questions or what it might look like. I assume you’re able to do this online and so whether they’re local here in Alaska or across the globe, in Michigan or Florida, you’re still able to serve them.

Kate Maness 36:07
I am yeah. So right now specifically with like, I’m a one on one person I like to meet in person, but kind of right now we’re the environment that we’re in. Zoom works. You know, like, that’s kind of where I’m at. So yeah, we can definitely meet, you know, via zoom or, you know, that kind of platform. If you’re local and that’s your jam to meet up. I’m all about some coffee and meeting at a coffee shop. But again, we’re probably more in the Zoom era right now. But moving forward. I you know, I would like to move into that. But yes, the answer to your question is near or far. We can connect. We can make work. Awesome.

Sasha Star Robertson 36:47
Very, very cool. Well, last question, kind of gave you a little bit heads up but I want to know, what does intentional abundance mean to you?

Kate Maness 36:57
I’ve been trying to think about that. What that does mean. Like if they break up the two words intentional to do something intentionally to do something mindfully, that we make a habit of doing. And then abundance, you know, a plethora of whatever that is, you know, whatever we’re being intentional about. So I feel like you know, what you’re saying and that you know, intentional abundance. You can have so much if you just make up your mind to do that. You know, you can, pretty much do anything that you want to put your mind to and if you do put your mind to it, you can have a lot of it. That’s what I feel like that’s, that is.

Sasha Star Robertson 37:57
Yes. I love it and I so agree. I love just like watching the gears turn and like watching you put this together. I don’t think a lot of people think about intentional abundance and what it means and so I just love asking this to all of my guests that I at least think of to ask you, you know sometimes I forget to ask but all the ones that I did, it’ll be a compilation someday. So anyways, any final thoughts or parting words that you have for our listeners today?

Kate Maness 38:28
Yeah, just you know. I guess you know, do your best. Don’t beat yourself up. Every day is a new day and just keep being you. And that’s yeah, and people are here to help you. I think that’s the biggest takeaway. There are people out there that if you need help and want to reach out, there are people that genuinely want to help you. I think that’s the biggest takeaway.

Sasha Star Robertson 38:54
Yes. Amen to that. Wow, awesome. Well, thank you so much for being a guest on the podcast today, Kate, I so appreciate our conversation, such awesome reminders and just like practical, real-world stuff about money and finances, and thank you for sharing your story with us and maybe you’ll be a guest here again one day we’ll see.

Kate Maness 39:19
I hope so. But thank you so much for having me, Sasha. I’m so honored to be on your show. Bye.

Sasha Star Robertson 39:25
Bye.

028: Are you taking the time to celebrate your wins… in a God honoring way?

Summary

In this episode Sasha shares about an epiphany she had upon the completion of the Masterful Christian Life Coaching Certification Program she recently accomplished.

In taking the time to sit with God in this revelation He directed her to a few scripture verses about how we can honor God in the work He has done in and through us by taking the time to seek His presence, to rest in Him, to rest in general, to celebrate our wins, to reflect on the work.. just as He did on the seventh day of creation. 

Sasha digs into the 10 commandments and brings about some personal convictions that you might share if you find yourself not taking the time to celebrate and rest. She shares from the Old and New Testament encouragement about how we can truly find God honoring success in life and then turn around to honor and bless Him in our response to it as well.

If you’re not already in the Intentional Abundance Community, join us to share your episode take aways, start a conversation about the topic, ask questions, or vote on future podcast topics. https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance

GIRL, if you’re not joining us for the #ChaostoClarity Workshop, then you must be out your mind… Sasha knows first hand just how much chaos mommas, especially mommas of littles, live in on the regular. She has packed in value and tips and more in this FREE Workshop taking place Saturday, February 19th to help mommas live from a place of clarity and peace and abundance despite our circumstances. Register for the challenge today: https://intentionalabundance.life/chaostoclarity — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intentional-abundance/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/intentional-abundance/support

Transcription

027: Feeling Like A Stick In The Mud? Loads of Practical Tips, Advice, Encouragement, & The Benefit of Making Space with Licensed Counselor Keila Kilgore

Summary

In this episode Sasha and special guest Keila Kilgore dig deep into the importance of holding space, taking the time and energy to understand yourself, and so much more. The episode may start off slow, but the value compounds as the episode goes on. Amongst the personal stories and testimony shared by both Sasha & Keila, you’re going to want a notepad handy, because Keila shares so many fantastic takeaways and mic drop moments you’re going to want to remember. 

Get yourself into the Intentional Abundance Community on Facebook for some conversation, resources, and more pertaining to this episode: https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance/

Keila is a wife, a mother of adult children, and a woman that has always found work to be her play. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and the owner of ‘the Art of Creative Dimensions, Inc’ as well as the Counseling & Wellness Center in Hillsdale, MI. She is a multi-passionate mompreneur and driven beyond belief. 

Her gifts and purposes include care and compassion while holding the space for others to explore and grow while often being encouraged and challenged to not settle or stay stuck but to explore their gifts and talents. Her passion is to learn and help others focus on understanding how life’s experiences can impact our overall health while encouraging awareness, knowledge, identification and utilization of resources to help build resilience.

She believes that most people are doing their best they know how and once they take a little time or energy to understand themselves more they are able to do things differently and generally for the better when having the space held for them to explore and discover.

Keila doesn’t have a website or contact information available at this time, but if you’re interested in digging deeper into the topics discussed in this episode and want access to some of the resources we’ve discussed, jump into the Intentional Abundance Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance/

— Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intentional-abundance/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/intentional-abundance/support

Transcription

Sasha Star Robertson 0:12
Hello sisters and thank you so much for joining us on another episode of the intentional abundant life podcast. I am so excited to share this knowledgeable guest with you today. And before I read her bio, I just want to share a secret, if you will. She is my aunt Keila, and funny story I remember back when I was in first grade and she was a substitute teacher for my class and it was so difficult for me to call her by her teacher’s name if you will. It was Aunt Keila and she’s like stop calling me that. So, super fun. She is a wife and a mother. She has a 23-year-old son and a 21-year-old daughter and my cousins whom I love. She has always found work to be her play. She’s a licensed professional counselor, the owner of the art of creative dimensions, Inc.

Also, the owner of the counseling and Wellness Center in Hillsdale, Michigan. She also works as a health coach and educator for Henry Ford Alliance health and is a certified teacher and school counselor serving as a K through 12th grade mental health specialist at Stockbridge community schools. Wow. Huge information. Is there anything you’d like to share?

Keila Kilgore 1:40
Yes, it’s Henry Ford Allegiance Health just so we know.

Sasha Star Robertson 1:44
Okay, what did I say, Alliance?

Keila Kilgore 1:47
Alliance. Yeah. That’s all good. All good. Now, I think that’s enough said. I’m a little nutty.

Sasha Star Robertson 1:58
Lots of hats. But you know what, what I love about it is it’s all in the same like, arena and industry. It’s all in your area of specialties and specialties is not a word. We’re just having fun with this episode. Series. I guess. One of the things I really loved when I was talking to Keila before doing this podcast is a couple of things that she shared with me that just really resonated with my message and my mission and really what God has put on my heart. And one of the things that she has said was that she believes most people are doing the best that they know how. And once they take a little time or energy to understand themselves more, they’re able to do things differently, and generally for the better, when having the space held for them to explore and discover. Do you want to share anything more about that? Like, where did that come from? I’m just that hits me hard. And I fully agree.

Keila Kilgore 2:53
I think for that it goes into being a child right? Being a child and kind of those things that we think about as we’re growing up and maybe the things that aren’t so easy or that we get challenged by when our parents tell us we can or can’t do or that we might get frustrated. It could be situations as a student in school, different stuff like that and as growing up having my own children or doing the work as a counselor, just really kind of understanding it and knowing that our parents, our family members, the teachers, you know, we all are kind of in the situation where we’re trying to do what we can and oftentimes the best that we know how it goes back to that same right. We know what we know. We don’t know what we don’t know. Until we know. Right? And with that, it just gives us a different perspective. And so, as a counselor, I have to really put that in play because if I don’t believe that people are trying I have to believe in the work that I do. Right and that aspect of holding that space for individuals. So I’ve learned more about trying to just make people feel welcome and helping acknowledge that they’re doing the best that they know how at that time, encouraging them to have that space to visit kind of what’s going on for them.

Sasha Star Robertson 4:22
That’s huge. One of the things that is a really big phrase like in the adoption community is know better do better. And I don’t know where it originated or anything like that. But just leaning in and just you know a lot of people I think going to adoption with certain preconceived notions and ideas and even their own motivations behind adopting and once you learn about adoption, education and adoption, trauma and all these other things, once you know better then you’re able to do better. And I think it’s very similar here just like you’re saying, like there were so many tools that are even, you know, thought processes and stuff I didn’t know about and, and I was doing the best that I knew how and I was drowning severely. And now I learned a lot and I have tools and so I’m able to approach, you know, situations and circumstances differently and have different outcomes because of that. So, super cool. And I love that you had pointed out like really, we have to take the time and energy to understand ourselves a little bit more and like how we relate to the world and so much more. So, very, very cool. Do you like, do you have any words of encouragement or advice or tips on like, if somebody is listening and they’re like, “Well, how do I take the time and energy to understand myself more like where do I go? Where do I turn? How do I find that?”

Keila Kilgore 5:52
You know, I think it’s different for each individual. I’m a little biased as a counselor however, we’ve got to start somewhere and so part of it sometimes I think about situations, again growing up or as I’m working I do a lot of work with teens, teens and youth. And then I do a lot with the parenting aspect of it. And, of course, the things that I thought I knew right from doing parenting when you’re dealing with different personalities and different character traits for individuals and then do it in a counseling realm. I encourage people sometimes you just step back. So if I’m talking to an individual themselves, for example, they might have other people right. So I think of the fishbowl concept. So there are themes that we can be so wrapped up in things that are so near and dear to our heart are so intertwined or were just like in meshed in different situations that we need to kind of step back and we need to take that this whole look at kind of what is happening. And oftentimes people on the outside can see some of those things. And we can often get very defensive, right? Very defensive because how dare they, they don’t know, they don’t know the details of what’s going on all of that type of stuff. So, it’s a fine line. It’s a fine line about listening and not letting others just kind of take over your life. And so, I would say first of all, just take note and look at for example, when I do counseling, I tell individuals, like if you have stuff that’s happened to you, you don’t need to talk about all of it. That’s my class. You don’t need to talk it all out. But if you do find that you’re getting stuck like a stick stuck in the mud, and you’re not making progress or moving but you’re not happy where you’re at, then you’ve got to possibly work through some of that and that looks different. So I would say checking ourselves, and then think about who’s a good listener, and it’s hard sometimes finding good listeners. People like to be heard, and so they don’t like using the two ears and one mouth. So it’s finding that and the reason why I’m a little biased with the coaching or the counseling is because we’re trained to listen. And we’re trained in a way that even though we do deeply care and we’re there to help others. We are not emotive. We are not immediately attached or connected with the situation. So we do have this space and we do have the training to be able to step back and allow whatever process it could be with a pastor or somebody from a church. It could be with a good friend and there might be a certain friend you want to talk about things. But I encourage you don’t just go to the friend that’s going to agree with you every time. Make growth when you can be challenged.

Sasha Star Robertson 8:48
Yes, check your bias, for sure. And I love that I love so many things about what you said because they’re like I do have friends that I they are my wise counsel like they’re they are the people that will speak truth to me. Because they’re bold enough and they love me enough to like even if it’s hard for me to hear and even if I’m just like, can’t believe she said that to me. But then I can easily turn around and be like, You know what that was for my good. She said that in love, you know and so I know, particularly one that’s on my mind and I’m like she’s just been there a lot and she’s just a friend from church like it’s not you know, she’s not licensed or you know a coach or trained or anything like that. But I do consider her wise counsel and she listens and, and she’s bold to say the truth but I agree with you too and like you know, finding somebody who who is familiar with you know, a trained ear to listen, really and somebody who you trust their insight and their counsel and where they’re receiving their insight and wisdom from, like you said, whether that’s a coach or a counselor or a pastor or a wise friend. And one of the other things that I wanted to touch on that you said was, you know, if you’re feeling like a stick in the mind and in, like you said, maybe you don’t need to talk about, you know, all the things that have happened in the past, but I know a couple of the things that you’re really into. One of the things that you made me do almost a year ago when I was there missing that I’m like, this is stupid, but I got so much out of it was the sandplay I know you’re also into yoga and meditation. I know. Lately, I’ve really been into breath work and just really taking the time to breathe and tap into that parasympathetic. Is that what it’s called systems. So I know that there are a lot of other ways besides talking about but I do find a lot of us in this day and age are verbal processors. We need somebody to hear somebody that’s willing to listen so do you want to touch on any of those other ways other than talking about that you know of that can be helpful?

Keila Kilgore 10:50
Absolutely. So I’m doing, I’m doing a plug but not intentionally, but I’m gonna play on words. So, you know, I even looked at so it’s funny. I laugh because I have actually planners from back in the day I have my planners, my calendars where I really kind of process through. And it was just a way for me to organize my thoughts. And so I think for every individual, it’s really important to kind of learn kind of what works for you. So for some people it might be literally making a list or it might be doing that pro and con list or it might be one of my favorite memes that I love to help people do isa web. And so it’s really kind of starting with a circle in the center. Putting your name in the middle, if that’s what we’re focusing on right now. So we’re focusing on ourselves, so I might put Keila in the middle, and then I do the little spokes off of it. So, this is back from taking that English class or creative writing class or something when you’re trying to come up with ideas. But then whatever you’re focusing on and I encourage people to do a no- directive, meaning just whatever comes up with something in that next circle, another circle, another circle, and then you continue spoking off of it. And the spokes will lead to other things that you’ll see it start to take shape about some different themes that are coming up. You could do it in a directed way. Meaning you might start with your name in the middle. And let’s say I’m trying to think about a job or I’m trying to think about, you know, what is my next step? What is my next goal and you can like lay out, like each of the different things to do those things that you’re thinking of. And then just to take some spokes off. I’m very much like you said into the sandplay, world play. I’ve done tons of training on that. And it’s just a different modality. It’s a different way to be able to process because our bodies do remember, they remember a lot and we do things through our five senses. I would say probably six, seven senses because there’s lots of them out there right our intuition being one and then our other our spiritual sense. But being able to use different things, whether it be collage work, whether it be reading a book, there’s creative journaling, that you can do any of that type of stuff that helps whether it be going out and taking pictures right to kind of do a photo journal, that type of process. So lots of ways.

Sasha Star Robertson 13:17
Wow, super, super huge. Like, I did not expect to go like all this. But you know, you mentioned the web thing and I’m like, You know what, yeah, I remember when I was like in the thick of counseling. I was instructed to make one of these webs and now you’ve inspired me I want to go dig it out and find it. And just like, you know, reread it I really love revisiting like, those powerful moments in my life because I know that sitting down and doing that web and I think for me, it was about it was about finding, you know like finding worth in myself. Am I valuable just for existing kind of thing, which is something funny enough in 2021 I really had to take some time wrestling with in digging back into but one of the other things you said I don’t even know where this quote came from. Maybe It’s like Dr. Lewis or something. Like that. I can’t read it. But it says scientists determined that it takes approximately 400 repetitions to create a new synapse in the brain, unless it’s done with play, in which case it takes between 10 and 20 repetitions and so I just thought about that when you talk about the sandplay or even just like this photography, and things like that, that can feel more like play like joy and just how much easier it is for our brain to like, associate goodness with that. I don’t know I just somebody had shared that earlier today and it really popped into my mind when you mentioned that so,

Keila Kilgore 14:47
Well, I’m going to take off on that one real quick too, and just speak about that. So the synapses, the way that our body or our brains kind of connect and it’s through it looks like this. It’s basically the synapses and they communicate right they have this connection together. And so when we get stressed out what happens is this, and so we’re not making that connection, right? Those fingers are not reaching out to each other to have that communication. And so that can happen when we have stress cortisol that continues to run through our body. And so those types of things can kind of break down their communication, their career thinking that type of thing. And then I do the health coaching, right and so all about coaching is creating habits better, it’s changing our habits. It’s like if we take something away, we’ve got to put something else in there. That’s a positive, and it takes that repetition, but we were acting on it and that gets us into some of those things like, I used to hate it when somebody would tell me that fake it till you make it like act like you’re happy and it ticked me off. But you’ve got to make that change. Like we’ve got to get ourselves in that role. And we’ve got to practice. So, yeah.

Sasha Star Robertson 16:00
No, I hear that. And I think it’s really important, really powerful because, like I know a lot of times I’m talking to moms and a lot of moms with littles at home like their kids are six years old and under. A lot of the women that I serve and maybe a lot of the women that are listening on here today, and it’s like that’s a very stressful time and like you’re constantly putting out fires and breaking up fights and like there’s messes everywhere. Hopefully, it’s not actual fires, but like metaphorical fires, right? But like the stress cortisol is high and like you said there’s a breakdown of communication. And it really like your emotional brain takes in in your like logical decision making brain steps out and it’s almost like that fight or flight. Right? That’s like the kind of state that you get into when you have that. Right, stress cortisol elevated.

Keila Kilgore 16:49
Yes and freeze. So we often talk about fight and flight but we forget about the freeze and so honestly a lot in this day and age I see a lot of people do freeze so the fight part remember can be literally put up the dukes and let’s fight it can be with words. And so people don’t think about that. The flight is avoidance or just getting out of here, like walking away. And then if you have opposites that are dealing with that you get somebody walking away while somebody is fighting and so they’re getting more frustrated because. And then the freeze looks like just shutting down like just not like almost being, anyways, not being able to do something just kind of shutting down in that way where you just don’t do anything. And so we forget about that.

Sasha Star Robertson 17:39
Yeah, it’s like the like the disassociation as actually talking to somebody the other day about excessive yelling, right when like when a little kids being yelled at all the time and they’re yelling all the time. That’s what I was like, oh, yeah, they’re in flight mode. They’re not even there. They float away. They’re gone. But really what they’re doing is they’re just freezing. They’re just like, they’re disassociated, essentially, like, blocking it out. They’re not getting up and walking away because that’s going to make the fight and the other person even worse. They’ve almost been trained to just freeze.

Keila Kilgore 18:08
Yeah, they’re putting their armor up right so they can kind of shut it up. One thing I am going to say about that because you talked about working with littles I’ll share a quick story about a time because I am a busy person. I’d like to do a lot of things that some people realize, but I can remember we were building our house and we, I had an ice cream place and I think I was doing school counseling. Yeah, I was a school counselor at the time too. But my son was two years old at that time and we were building our place and we were walking up the stairs and I must have been pretty stressed out about something and I can remember him stopping and peeing on the stairs and I looked at him I was like what, you know, our new house are like, What are you doing? Like he’s just peeing. He had been potty trained and but what he did is he just peed and I was, and then I had to catch myself. And I realized, oh my gosh, this poor kid like we are going, going going and my husband was working on stuff and he’s got his own jobs. And here’s this little guy, he was doing what he had control to do. And he was like you know, he was pissed off. He was done with kind of where things are at and he was letting me know like he’s tired of, and so I had to stop and I had to breathe. And so I just share that. We have to be careful. You know, we got whatever going on. And our kids are like animals right? They sense it, they feel that energy. And we’ve got to keep that in mind. So when we can calm down. That is something for us to be aware of.

Sasha Star Robertson 19:41
Yeah, I love that and I thank you for sharing that and even just like talking about this freezing and we talking about yelling like this is, so I just got back from this like little retreat and whaever. And a big part of it was like I’m not proud of the way that I’m showing up as a mom these last few weeks and I have been yelling and I don’t want to yell at my son at all, like ever. And and I have been raising my voice and I’m just like I don’t like this and so I did I had to take the time to step away and give myself that fishbowl perspective like you’re talking about the outside looking in okay, what is actually coming up in me and why am I doing this? Why am I having these responses? He’s two. Just like you’re saying like, I love that you said kids are like animals because I often before I was a mom compared other people’s kids to my dog and then now people are like oh, compare your teeth to my cat. But I’m like no, like, they’re like, you have to train them. Right. So, but also that split up another story in me about like, I remember when we were stationed overseas, I was a babysitter for a little boy his dad deployed and he was potty trained and I would be the one to pick him up from preschool and take him home like do some homework. Just till mom got home from work. And he had really regressed on his potty training and was all the time like, you know, going number one and number two and his pants and that was one of the things she was the mom was really embarrassed by it. And I’m like, Look, this is the one thing this kid knows how to have control over in his life. Like his dad is gone halfway across the world. He doesn’t understand you know, and so it was one of those situations where it’s crazy because I was like, played a big hand in re potty training him and she really like thank you and appreciated me for that. Which also speaks to me because I’m kind of terrified to potty train my son. So we’re waiting till he’s ready to talk about it. We have fun like you know, it’s not, but he’s just not showing signs of being ready and was really resistant. I’m not going to push. But I wonder too how much my energies playing into that. Now we’ve mentioned it so I think these stories are always fun and just really put a real, real life emphasis into the podcast. So super funny. I know I remember the story that I remember when it happened that you shared about your son. And speaking of, right, you’re my aunt and whatever else and so I actually had Keila fill out a form like I do for all of my podcast guests and something that she wrote in there just like I was blown away and so I just want to read it to you guys because it really resonates with my heart and then Keila, you’re welcome to like add anything to it. And I just think it’s a really beautiful and powerful message. And I see a lot of this in myself too. And so she said she has the gift of seeing the big picture while also understanding the minute details. She’s very diverse and driven. Some of her gifts and purpose include care and compassion while holding the space for others to explore and grow. talked about in the beginning, will often be encouraged and challenged not to settle or stay stuck, but to explore their gifts and talents. She has a gift of entrepreneurialship which technically isn’t a word, she’s gonna stick with it. And the love for exploring learning, coaching and teaching, which I don’t know, I just love all of that. Like, is there anything that you want to add to that? I just think people needed to hear that and I don’t know why but

Keila Kilgore 23:07
I think you know, one of the biggest things I see if I can get the saying right, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. Right? And so it’s one of the deals. Even as I’m counseling I did not do things perfect. None of us are perfect, right? We are not and so, there are things that I definitely would do differently as a mother. There are things that maybe I wish were done differently in my life as growing up. But I tell even individuals when I’m working with them, is you know, do the best you can right do the best you can sometimes we got to do it for someone else. But it’s keeping that awareness that we we can really learn when we’re teaching because we hear the words come out of our mouth and then we got to reflect that. So I even have to be careful that I am not showing more grace to my clients than I do my own family.

And that’s hard. It’s a hard thing because right we’re emotionally attached. And so this is one of those things where they say that you don’t counsel your friends and family. It’s there for a reason because it becomes very tough. It becomes a very hard thing. Because you do have an emotional attachment again, when I do counseling when I’m teaching I do I tell the kids I tell the teams like you guys are my kids too. Like you are my team too. You know and you’re like family to me because I do want the best for them. But it is different when it’s coming back to our own home. So sometimes I’ll have stuff that I’m saying to a parent that I’m working with because I do a lot with that. And I have to remind myself to take note, take note because as you’re saying this are you hearing yourself and then knowing that I need to do differently in my own home.

So thinking of that and then I just, you know, it’s hard. The hardest thing to watch. Somebody stay stuck and it’s something that I it’s been my motto like I have to be careful because you can also take that to the nth degree and not staying stuck and then constantly trying to change and it goes back to that same wherever you go there you are. And so sometimes we do have to play in the mud a little bit. In my horse world. I do you know the equine assisted therapy we talk about chewing on it, sometimes when horses are thinking they’reequine-assisted chewing, and so sometimes we got to chew on it. Sometimes we have to stick it in our little toe for when we need it later. And I don’t put all my eggs in one basket. But I don’t recommend that for everybody because that’s not for everybody either. Sometimes it’s easier for people to just focus on one thing. So we have to be careful that we’re not also placing our judgment, our what works for us. I don’t expect anybody to try to do the things that I do schedule wise. I maybe do have high expectations a little bit, but I don’t expect or want people to be as nutty as I am is my enemies differ in different in some of it probably out of avoidance for certain things, but it’s what’s worked for me now is what I’m doing.

Sasha Star Robertson 26:18
Yeah, I love that. I agree and it’s one of my big models that I stand on is like we’re not cookies. We can’t all fit in this like cookie-cutter model we’re human beings and we all have different experiences and different perceptions and different size backpacks that can carry different loads. We all have like you were you were saying report different resiliency factors like it all adds up to be who we are. We are unique individuals and I am the same way it was just because I can carry a rucksack with 55 pounds doesn’t mean the next guy can’t just because I didn’t spend 10 plates in the air and only dropped one of them doesn’t mean somebody else is going to be the same. And so I laugh when you say that because like Robbie said, where do you think you got it. And I can’t I’ve learned that too, but I can’t hold anybody else’s expectations and standards that I hold myself to.

Touching on the other thing you said learning by teaching. Every time I have a conversation with one of my clients I learn from it and I think it goes back to that holding the space too. Because really they say words and I repeat their exact words verbatim back to them or they say words and they’re like, I can’t believe I’m saying that sounds stupid now that I’ve said it or whatever else, you know, they’re able to just like see from outside perspective, but also, you know, I feel like it’s really cool how God brings people together. And it’s a place of gratitude that I’m sitting in right now. Because every single one of my clients has brought up something that is something or something for me. And I can give them advice and I’m like yep, and you need to listen to this to Sasha you need to do this to Sasha and so it’s been a really cool space to be in where, you know, I’m playing air quotes, I’m helping them but they’re also helping me. And so it’s reciprocal and it’s really cool. That learning by teaching model.

So one of the things if you are local in Michigan, to where Keila is her and her daughter are finishing up their yoga teaching certification. They’ve been in the process of creating a Zen Den to offer a variety of yoga classes including a focus of so many different things self care, stretching, exercise, mindfulness, meditation, relaxation, the list goes on. And so they’re going to be offering classes soon in exchange for constructive feedback. And they’ve also got different goodies that you can jump into and purchase in their entrance which I love these play on words. But I just want to make sure that if you are local in Michigan and you knew about that resource, and Keila is there anything else you want to add about that or where people can find you. Maybe there’s not friends or family but people who are listening in Michigan that might be like, maybe I do need to get out of this stick in the mud place. Maybe I do need counseling, what advice or tips would you have for them i that too?

Keila Kilgore 29:19
So I think a couple of things. So I’ll go to the to the yoga type aspect of things. This goes back into that teaching. Like I never take the time to kind of slow down in a lot of ways, but I’ve heard so many positive things about yoga. And so it was my way to force myself to do the work. So if I take it to teach it then I know that I’ve got to focus that energy on it and so coming with that I just encourage, there’s all kinds of spaces there actually are a ton of different yoga spaces and I encourage you to try it. Be brave about it. Like just check it out. There’s a lot of online you can start off doing it that way to kind of be able to acclimate yourself. I went in not knowing anything, but it’s pretty cool and even just the breathwork. So, with that, like we are just kind of getting started kind of checking it out.

Like when it comes to like even the counseling like it’s tough right now. It’s like one of the things that we have got to do so much work on. You know, I laugh, I was a school counselor for many years and then they were kind of downsizing when I left from the elementary I was at. They didn’t fill my position. And Lordy be! Have a pandemic and all of a sudden they realize that mental health is a thing and now they’re hiring people left and right.

So that can be the hard thing right? Sometimes finding counseling, and because it is a tricky thing I encourage individuals sometimes to start off with your insurance company. If you have insurance start off that way. Find out who their providers are in your area. you could also check with your Primary Care Doctor. Starting with a doctor helps get you linked in to resources that they may be aware of. And check around with friends. We have got to quit this stigma on mental health.

And going to a counselor is not just, a lot of times people think about it like grief and loss and really kind of heavy stuff. But we need to realize grief and loss actually goes on in a lot of ways, right? There’s a difference between the death of somebody super close to us and those types of things. That is a certain grief and loss, but we are grieving and losing a lot of different stuff each day. I don’t want to minimize grief and loss, but it also can be about building goals, about just bettering ourselves, or just checking in, having that stabilization for ourselves, or just wanting to do well. That’s okay too. So, if you have insurance call to find out. Cause that’s the really important thing is if you’re expecting to use insurance. Otherwise, if you don’t have insurance, maybe look into pastoral. You could do that as well through your church. Oftentimes they will offer services there. If it’s somebody that’s of college age there are counseling centers that are on campus and there’s also community mental health that can start off. So, a lot of times the community mental health will take care of like Medicaid for individuals. And then the other thing is that you could get on the computer and look and narrow things down. Sometimes it is, it’s word-of-mouth.

And you’ve got to understand about counseling or coaching or any of that, they’re all different individuals that are out there doing it. The more that you are honest and the more that you show up in that space and help them, it’s like you wouldn’t go to a pizza place and just take whatever pizza, well I might! But you wouldn’t just take whatever pizza. You would expect to order what you wanted. And so help that counselor, help that coach, know what works for you. The tough thing is, and like Sasha mentioned very much in counseling it is holding that space and allowing somebody to kind of talk their talk and then hear themselves. You know back in school or nowadays, too, they even take like a PVC pipe and they create the little phones for the kids. So that way they can read their story. They put their opening towards their mouth and the other opening towards the ear so the kid can read their story and hear it. Because we process things differently. And so it’s almost that same concept. Just to know that having a counselor there’s a lot of training where people are just listening. People are like, “I don’t want to have somebody just listen. I could talk to my dog and hear myself.” But the other part is knowing that if you do want somebody that’s going to challenge you a little bit more. Let them know that. The other thing is, call yourself out on it. If you’re just going there and you’re yakking and telling a bunch of bull, you’re loss. You’re cheating yourself. I just want to share that as well.

Sasha Star Robertson 30:13
That is so huge. There are so many things that you said that I just really want to touch on. One thing is like to quit the stigma on mental health in counseling and I feel like this, that ties into coaching too, but touching on the counseling aspect first, like, I mean, when I went to counseling and therapy, I was a very broken person. I was desperate. I was in such a bad space, like I didn’t want to live anymore, do not get to that point. And I think a huge part and reason that I got there is I allowed myself to. I almost forced myself to because I couldn’t go unless I was broken enough, right? And so you don’t have to be in that space. You could have one small thing that you’re trying to overcome and to go seek guidance from a counselor and overcome it like that. Or you can sit in it and let it spool and dig a deeper hole and become something that it doesn’t need to be just by trying to grip the wheel and fight it on your own. And so just to encourage that, like going to counseling does not mean that you’re broken. It’s not a bad thing.

And just like you said, a lot of times it’s just hearing, allowing yourself the space to really explore how you feel and what’s going on inside, getting the stuff out but doing it with somebody who is trained with a listening ear, like you said, the first couple of months that I was in counseling was just talking. And then it was the trained ear of my counselor who realized I was suffering from PTSD and recommended some EMDR therapy and it changed my life. And had I not had that I can’t even imagine where I would where I would be today. Right? And so it’s just it’s allowing yourself to have that space but to do it with somebody who’s able to have that outside look and really be trained on techniques and things that can help you. I know a lot of people won’t go to counseling because then they’re like, I don’t want to be prescribed medication. I was never on medication. And my husband, he says, yeah, he thinks everyone should go to counseling. Everyone should have a counselor. And I’m like, Yeah, I agree. Right?

And then I feel like there’s that space to where life coaching comes in. Because I’ve heard somebody say this, which I don’t know if you would agree with it necessarily, but like counseling is a lot looking at the past of what you’ve been through and overcoming it, whereas coaching is more so looking at the future, where do you want to go and help bridging the gap to get there. And so I can see sometimes the small area of overlap, but definitely two different fields, different approaches, and training behind them. But even people look at coaching and like, you don’t need a life coach. Does anybody need a life coach? I don’t know. But do you want a life coach? Do you see the value and benefit in that? Do you see this particular person in their style and their training in the way that they’re showing up being somebody who’s able to help you get to where you’re trying to go?

And so that leads me into what you were saying about you know, be honest and show up and every counselor is different. I’ve been to many different counselors in my life and some I found way more helpful than others. And so it’s you can’t just go to one and be like, counseling, it’s not for me. So I want to encourage any of the listeners in that, that if you go to one and you don’t feel like it’s for you speak to them. Maybe they do have tools and techniques and approaches. I remember one of my counselors that I went to I was like, Well, I didn’t want to hire you because you’re not a Christian counselor. And then she had explained to me licensing requirements whatever, she can’t list herself as that because yada yada all these state requirements, but she shared in the faith and she was willing to use whatever techniques I saw best. And so it was really cool to have that space and so you can’t just try one and call it quits. So yeah, be honest. Show up. Do the work. Like it’ll take you far.

Keila Kilgore 34:16
Yes. And one more thing I want to share because it just made me think about this too. So as we’re talking to mamas, right, and sometimes mamas have those significant others that they are working with or Papas or dads or whatever. You know, sometimes you might be dealing with some frustrations in the relationship because it’s the hardest work that we do. And then when you’ve got two different people that are on that playing field in it, it makes things tough. It brings tension like if you if you’ve got one parent, that’s kind of like the hardcore you got one that’s kind of really relaxed, that creates some tension, right? And so, the other thing is if you do feel like you need to go to counseling or there is something going on in your relationship as a couple. Understand that sometimes you just can’t get that other person to go. You know what, you got to let that be. Because again, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink, but you can still do your work. And so I encourage you sometimes and there’s the prayerful wife, there’s the prayerful husband, sometimes we’ve got to do our work on ourselves because it’s about our perception and the way that we’re showing up. And the way that we’re processing things. I got to remind myself of that all the time.

Sasha Star Robertson 35:22
I’m over here like yes, yes. Like clapping not too loud because I didnt want to interrupt, but yes. Do your work. And even you mentioning that thinking back. I had a lot of work to do in myself and I don’t think my husband ever would have considered going to counseling. I went to counseling, because I knew I needed to and I wouldn’t say we were having problems or he was having problems. I would say I knew, but believed you know, a lot of the problems were my own to work with her. But then I was going to counseling and he saw the growth and transformation and the change in me. And he thought, well, heck, maybe I need to go to counseling. My problems did then end up producing problems in our marriage and in our relationship. A lot of it’s stemming from me. And we started going to marriage counseling too. And so we’ve done it all. We’ve done the whole gamut. But the thing is, we care more about our relationship with each other and we care more about our mental health and how we’re showing up in the world, how we’re showing up towards each other towards our friends, towards our other family members, towards our kid that we’re willing to do the work and so I love that you had said that is like do your work. Focus on what your contribution is and where you can improve to make the situation better. And a lot of times like that speaks volumes. People want to improve themselves and they want to remain in your space when you’ve done the work. So thank you for saying that and pointing it out because super huge.

Keila Kilgore 37:03
Amen. Amen.

Sasha Star Robertson 37:05
Awesome. Well, I am going to drop information in the show notes of where you are able to have any resources, whether that’s reaching out to Keila, finding out about this Zen Den, or maybe we’ll even drop some resources just for where you can look for a lot of the different things that we had mentioned and if you have any further questions or any comments, definitely jump into the intentional abundance community. Keila is in there because like I said, she’s my aunt. And so we can get some more information to you that way don’t hesitate to reach out to me. If you are needing a listening ear, I can direct you to her or many other resources that I have or even reach out to the people in my community and find you any help or assistance that you might need. Remember, we’ve gone through so much in here today that I can’t even my head is spinning so we’ll definitely have to sum this up and give you guys a closing recap. So jump in the community and we’ll probably plug some resources in there for you. Thank you so much for listening, and I hope you all have a blessed week.

Keila Kilgore 38:17
Take care of yourselves. Do the work.

026: How to be REAL in life & on Social Media

Summary

In this episode Sasha shares a side mission she’s on, transforming the face of social media, at least in her small corner of it… she believes that the world needs to see more REAL life on social media. The tough, the hard, the difficult, the struggle, the set backs just as much, if not more than, the filters and Pinterest lifestyle. Sasha shares her R.E.A.L life acronym and challenges others to live in and show up in integrity, especially on social media. — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intentional-abundance/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/intentional-abundance/support

Transcription

025: From Chaos to Taking Control of Life & Home w/ BarbieJo

Summary

Today on the Podcast we have a special guest BarbieJo, she is a mom of 5, farmers wife, and professional organizer. She coaches women wanting to build their own business in this industry of professional organizing. But that’s not even half of it sisters.  Barbie is such a light and shares about her journey from feeling like her future was out of her hands, living on food stamps, and lost in the chaos to finding peace in systems and SO much more. She adds value upon value in this episode and really hits on a few big reminders for us all. 

She is host of the Passion to Profit Podcast https://open.spotify.com/show/4LyDQoZySeaNsSvDGkY9k1

Follow her on social: IG: https://www.instagram.com/barbiejo.hatch/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/professionalorganizeracademy.group  Or her website: https://BarbieJo.com

Jump into the Intentional Abundance Community on Facebook to chat about this episode and others as well as more information on the upcoming Chaos to Clarity Workshop: https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance

— Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intentional-abundance/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/intentional-abundance/support

Transcription

Sasha Star Robertson 0:13
Hello sisters, and thank you for joining us on another episode of the Intentional Abundant Life Podcast. Today, I am here with a special guest, a new friend of mine, Barbie Jo. And Barbie is a mom of five. She is a farmer’s wife and professional organizer. And she is a coach for women wanting to build their own business in the industry of professional organizing. She has a heart for women, a heart for mothers, and I know she has a load of value and information to share with us. And she wants to share her story today about how she started her business and what reason she started it. And so Barbie, I’ll let you take it away. Give us an introduction of yourself and share with us whatever is on your heart.

BarbieJo 1:08
Well, thank you for having me, and I’m loving what you’re doing. So, I applaud you. Congratulations. This is so cool. So cool. Yeah, I’m a mom of five. And what drew me to building my own business was that my future was not in my hands. And that bothered me. I mean, I always just assumed I would get married and my husband would take care of me and I would have all my wildest dreams come true, everything would just fall into place.

And I learned quickly, especially being married to a farmer that that’s not the case. And life is so unpredictable, and my plans were completely different than his funds financially. So, I realized that, at one point, I needed to contribute to our family and just covering basic needs for our family. And I wanted something for my own, I wanted something to contribute to the world as well. So, it was good.

It was good for me, it was a process I had to really reflect on, I had to stop, I had to pause. I had to think about who I was as a person and what I wanted to contribute to this world. And then what talents, what skills did I already possess? I grew up as a trained dancer. I went to school for dancing. I have a degree in dance. And then I taught ballet for many years. And I realized quickly I did not enjoy teaching ballet. I loved performing, I love creating, but I did not necessarily love being stuck in a classroom teaching technique over and over again. And it wasn’t a source of substantial income for me, in that moment. So, I really thought, you know, what can I do?

So the first thing I did, reflecting back on my childhood on my youth, was the first thing I would do when I wanted to learn a new skill or a new sport, I would look for a coach within that field. And that’s how I would start my journey to learning something new. And I thought okay, the same applies here. I know nothing about business, my degrees in dance education. What can I do to get help? So I sought after a business coach. So I thought, okay, well, that’s the first place I could start. I knew not where I was going to go what I was going to build I had no clue. So that coach made me sit down and think, what is it that you could see yourself doing for the next 10 years. And it took me a hot minute to really think deep.

At that time in my life. We were on our ninth move. And I have five kids all around me. We have crazy schedules, you know, just the chaos of having your life in a box and not knowing where everything’s gonna settle. And yet, I wasn’t stressed. I wasn’t overwhelmed. I had a flow. I had a system I was organized. And that’s when it came to me. I love organizing. I thrive in this type of environment. That’s what I could see myself doing for 10 years. And that was my real aha moment. Where I was like, okay, let’s do this. Let’s go all in. Let’s build a business around this skill.

Sasha Star Robertson 4:57
That is incredible. I’m over here taking notes about what you’re talking about. And I just absolutely love a couple of things that stood out to me is, that you had to stop and pause and reflect, and think about who I am and what I want to contribute. But then even still, you had, you know, question marks kind of in your mind, and you realize you need to find help, you found a coach, and she helped guide you through that process, which helped reveal to you, “Wow, this is a strength and a gift that I have. And so I’m living in this season of chaos. But these tools that I have, in this natural gifting that I have, to have systems in place, and be organized, is able to bring about a ton of peace in my life.” And I think that is just absolutely incredible.

Like, chaos to peace is a huge transition that resonates with my heart and my message. So I believe it’s divine that you are, you are here on the podcast as a guest. And I would just love to hear kind of more about that. What was it that really caused you to lean into that? When you were like, Hey, I have these systems and I have these tools. What was your kind of big why behind leaning into that other than wanting to contribute and feeling like you had no real control over your future.

BarbieJo 6:01
So, my big Why was my family, my kids, I wanted to be able to pay for their college tuition, I wanted to be able to support them. As they discover who they are, I wanted to be able to pay for their weddings, their upcoming weddings or missions, or whatever it was, I wanted to be able to contribute to their lives and their growth and development and not have money stand in the way of that. Also, I want to retire my husband’s farming is for the birds, I’m sorry, it is a tough industry to be in. So I would love it to just be a hobby, you know, that’d be great. Mother Nature decides to rain all over and hill all over your crop. That’s okay. That’s okay, we’re just playing in the dirt, you know, but to have your whole livelihood depend on it is really stressful. So that was another big reason I wanted to retire my husband.

And so leaning into this skill set that I now uncovered this, this gift that I was given, and turning this into my focus and into my business, I had to develop the confidence to do it. So I’m like, “Who am I to go into somebody else’s home and tell them, they could do better, you know, who am I?” I don’t have a diploma on the wall stating that I am a professional organizer. I have no certification, I have no formal training in this capacity. So I had to like dig deep. And I had to do some research and realize it’s not a regulated industry. First of all, I didn’t need a piece of paper to tell me that I could do what I can do. And I really had to reflect on you know, I am delivering value I am worth something and people are willing to pay for it. So I had to get over myself. First of all, I was my first obstacle.

Sasha Star Robertson 8:47
Absolutely, I love that you’re leaning into the truth of who you are, your skills, and recognizing this. It’s a calling because it’s a natural trait that you have. And I think it’s so important for us to focus on those things in life because there are things that you are probably amazing at that I am terrible at naturally. Right? And vice versa. And I think we can all learn and help each other in those areas that we are strong and others may be weak. It’s part of coming together. It’s part of being the body really, and we deserve to be paid for those skills that we are strong on so then we can go pay others to help us with our skills that maybe we’re not so strong on.

BarbieJo 9:38
So true. So true.

Sasha Star Robertson 9:39
So I love that! So when you talk about coaching and mentoring other women who are wanting to step into this industry, what does that look like? What is somebody usually thinking or where are they at when they come to you? Do they already know that they want to professionally organize? Do you help them discover that as one of their gifts? Like, tell me a little bit more about your business and, and how it’s evolved?

BarbieJo 10:07
Yeah. So I was doing, you know this in-home service, which I love, I love working in people’s homes and leaving my clients better than how I found them. That is so rewarding. It’s so good. But then yeah, I’ve slowly evolved, because I’m wanting now to take it to the next level. You know, what’s the next level? So now, I’m consulting, I’m an advisor to the aspiring organizer or the existing professional organizers that just want that mentorship. So to help them through the process, and I can share, you know, my journey, and what worked and what didn’t work. And it’s just nice to know that you have somebody in your corner. So usually women that come to me that are aspiring organizers already know they hold this natural gift and tendency to be tidy. And we’re just going to build on that we’re going to celebrate that gift and that talent and make it into something that can better their lives and better other people’s lives.

Sasha Star Robertson 11:14
That’s incredible. I think it’s so important that after you’ve walked a journey yourself, or been, you know, through a valley and over a mountaintop yourself, that now you can if you sit down and you’re patient, and you’re willing to reflect, you can see that you have an extensive amount of notes that you can then take and share with others to guide them through that process.

And I think it’s so important, just like you had said at the beginning, you know, when you were back in high school, doing sports or whatever, and you were in dance, what would you do, you would hire a coach that was familiar with that process, you would look for the help that you needed and, and without the coach, you maybe would have been able to do it. But I think two things, you wouldn’t be able to reach the level of success that you could without the coach and guide and mentor walking you through. But also, you would definitely be taking the long track around. Right? And so I’m sure you have a lot of shortcuts and a lot of help to provide people who are aspiring to develop that in their business and in their family.

So you talked about a couple of your core beliefs and gifts that you see being honesty, hard work, leadership, and love. Did you want to dig into any more of those on our episode today?

BarbieJo 12:41
Yeah, I think we can all learn and grow from each other. And I think we all have a very unique voice and a gift to give this world. And it’s just exploring what that is, and how to get it out into the world. And that’s what I feel like coaches do they help give you the platform or the tools to be able to do that. Because we are all contributing factors to what makes this world such a unique, wonderful place. I mean, we were meant to shine, we were given these talents and skills, to share them to grow them to multiply them, right, and not just bury them. So that’s what I am an advocate of, if you’re wanting to amplify this natural talent or skill that you already possess, I would love to help you do that.

Sasha Star Robertson 13:32
Incredible. So how do you do this? How did you start a business going into the homes of others and then grow and scale your business into coaching and mentoring other women, as a mom of five?

BarbieJo 13:51
Time management, holy smokes, got to be on top of that time management. Because yeah, I only have so many hours in a day that I can devote to work because kids, they’re my priority. My family is my priority. And, you know, getting started, I was desperate to just take whatever would come my way. And I learned quickly that it wasn’t worth it. It was not worth it. I had to maintain those boundaries. And I had to keep my priorities straight. Because it wasn’t worth, you know, the sacrifice that they were experiencing for, you know, in exchange for a couple extra bucks. So, I think you have to be very clear on your priorities and setting your boundaries and then managing your time well.

Sasha Star Robertson 14:39
Amen. I agree to all of those things. And in the beginning of our conversation, you talked about these systems and being organized that brought you this peace in the chaos. And so are those, are those things that you recognize in the beginning is, having clear priorities and clear boundaries and managing your time well, is that included in those systems and being organized? And are those things that you help other women that you are coaching and mentoring with?

BarbieJo 15:14
Oh, yes, it’s vital. The first foundational piece that I always introduce is time management, and productivity. And then the third piece is organization because you have to have that firm foundation. Otherwise, you know, you’re building a house on sand.

Sasha Star Robertson 15:33
Yes, yes, yes, yes. I just love this conversation. Like you, you’re repeating so many things that just flow out of my heart regularly. And it’s very validating.

BarbieJo 15:48
Glad to hear it.

Sasha Star Robertson 15:50
So, if somebody was looking for a coach for a mentor, and they are resonating with your message, how should they reach out to you? Or where could they find you to learn more, or to follow you?

BarbieJo 16:05
That would be amazing! I would love to meet you! I would love to see where you are in your journey of life. I’m on Instagram, BarbieJo.hatch. I’m on Facebook, BarbieJo, and then my website is BarbieJo.com.

Sasha Star Robertson 16:21
Awesome. And I will drop all of Barbie’s links and information to her website and socials in the show notes. My last question for you today Barbie is, as you know, this is the Intentional Abundant Life podcast, intentional & abundance are two very powerful words that the Lord put on my heart, and I am always curious to hear what other people’s kind of definitions of intentional abundance is or what intentional abundant life is for you.

BarbieJo 16:56
So that’s a great question that, oh, wow, we could go deep with that. That’s so good. So good! To me, Intentional means to be forward thinking to be purpose driven. And then abundance, to me means gratitude. Are we grateful for the things that have been provided to us? And are we using them to our benefit to either learn from or grow from? You know, I believe everything has been placed in our path for a reason, is it going to make you stronger? Or is it going to make you weaker, it’s your decision. But I truly believe all of that is for our growth, and to help give us more, to help build upon that abundant living.

Sasha Star Robertson 17:46
I love it. Thank you so much for sharing that, for sharing your heart, and the story of how you came to be in the place where you are today. And I just know that at least one person other than myself is going to hear this and be so inspired by just you stepping forward in obedience and leaning in, and leaning into your giftings and your uniqueness in this world. So thank you Barbie! Any final thoughts, any last words of wisdom that you have to share with the audience today?

BarbieJo 18:27
I always try to let people know that no matter where you are in your journey of life, you are enough just as you are today.

Sasha Star Robertson 18:37
I love that.

One last thing I want to mention before we go is that Barbie does have a podcast of her own and it’s called “Don’t Get Lost in the Laundry”. You can also check out her podcast (Passion to Profit) I’m gonna drop that link in the show notes and I hope you all have received value and wisdom and insight from Barbie being on here and sharing her heart with us today. Thank you again Barbie and God bless all of you!

024: Girl, Your Hustle is Slowing You Down

Summary

Did Sasha just give Rachel her next book title?!? lol

All jokes aside, do you ever feel like you’re trying SO dang hard just to stay in the same place. Sitting in a season of overwhelm and never able to catch up. Feeling like you’re an Alaskan salmon, swimming up stream against the current and its just W O R K.

Well sister, perhaps it’s the very thing that you think is helping, that is actually HINDERING you? 

In this episode Sasha shares a story about a recent experience with this exact thing. She put in less effort & energy, focused on the essential things, like breathing, and ended up accomplishing more, in less time, with far less energy exerted. As she continued swimming, puzzled, and not understanding how it was possible, she felt God say, “it’s because your hustle is slowing you down”. What an incredible download to receive and message to share with others. 

As the episode continues, Sasha shares about a few times in scripture that you see this very thing happening… that is, God making something little or less into something abundant. 

Want to send in a voice clip to be aired on the show: https://anchor.fm/intentional-abundance

Join us in the Intentional Abundance Community on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance/ — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intentional-abundance/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/intentional-abundance/support

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More about your Podcast Host

Your Host, Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 14 years to her best friend, boy mom x2 (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, host of the Intentional MomLife with Jesus Podcast & co-host of the Faithful Family Fortress Podcast. Sasha is passionate about the call in Isaiah 61:1-2 and believes that God called her to set mothers free from the stress, overwhelm, and burden associated with modern day motherhood and instead help them live in the freedom of Christ through Biblical mindset & balanced schedules.

Your Host, Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 14 years to her best friend, boy mom x2 (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, host of the Intentional MomLife with Jesus Podcast & co-host of the Faithful Family Fortress Podcast. Sasha is passionate about the call in Isaiah 61:1-2 and believes that God called her to set mothers free from the stress, overwhelm, and burden associated with modern day motherhood and instead help them live in the freedom of Christ through Biblical mindset & balanced schedules..

Would you benefit from having a coach helping you live Productively Peaceful days digging into Faithful Foundations, Purposeful Priorities, Mindset Mastery, & Simple Selfcare? This question is rhetorical, everyone would! Schedule a consult with Sasha to learn more about the IAM Coaching Program and to see if you’d be a good fit. 
https://calendly.com/intentionalabundanceco/iamconsult

Desiring Community?

You’re invited to join us in the Productively Peaceful Moms Club over on facebook! It’s a safe space where we can show up vulnerably and encourage each other, where ere share the mission of being the best mommas we can be through the grace and strength of Jesus Christ, where we encourage consistency and are able to hold each other accountable. We share scripture and talk about podcast episodes and pray for each other and set goals and so much more! You’re more than welcome here, you’re wanted here! https://www.intentionalabundance.life/community

Leave Sasha a message on her SpeakPipe to be featured on the Podcast! Whether you have a topic or specific question you’d like discussed here on the show, or want to leave a verbal review. https://www.speakpipe.com/MomlifewithJesus

023: Marriage & Relationship Tip: Taking an Interest in Each Others Hobbies & Ideas with Robbie Robertson (Sasha’s Husband)

Summary

In this episode Sasha & Robbie discuss the fruits that have come about in their marriage as a result of taking an interest in each others hobbies and ideas. 

Many times you can find couples that practically lead separate lives. He likes this (manly stuff), she likes that (girly stuff) and other than raising the kids (which can sometimes be separate as well), they don’t really do much together. 

Sasha & Robbie have found and believe that in order to maintain the intimacy and connection in their marriage, doing things together as a couple and as a family are a must. Finding common interests and things you enjoy doing together are super important, but so is laying yourself down, stepping outside of your comfort zone, and doing something you normally wouldn’t dare, simply because it is something that your spouse finds a lot of joy, peace, or pleasure in.

This concept goes farther than hobbies and applies to your spouses ideas as well. Sasha & Robbie share about ideas one spouse had, that caused the other to trust and try, that have led to some of the biggest transformations of their lives. 

Listen in as Sasha & Robbie share stories about some of those ‘out of the comfort zone’ things they’ve participated in that have become passionate hobbies and/or family values. They also share tips on how to apply this to your life and find common interests as well as take part in your spouses interests & ideas. 

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Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intentional-abundance/message

Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/intentional-abundance/support

022: Biblical Self Care from Mark 12 – Love the Lord Your God with All of Your Heart, Soul, Mind, & Strength… And Love Your Neighbor As Yourself

Summary

In this episode Sasha addresses self care in a way no one else is. She digs into a passage in Mark 12 about how we are instructed to Love the Lord your God with ALL of your heart, soul, mind, & strength… and love your neighbor as yourself.

These four areas help us glean a lot about how we are to love God and others, which is a great indicator that these four areas are where we should be showing up for ourselves as well. 

Listen in to learn more about each of the four areas and gain a better understanding of how you can manage your self-care in simple yet effective ways, biblically.

Shift your focus onto emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical self care instead of what the world will tell you is selfcare. 

Later in the episode Sasha shares some of the powerful deep dive questions from the Life & Goals Planner and helps you to break out what self care is to you and how to manage your self care in these four areas with ease. 

Don’t have your hands on the Life & Goals Planner yet, snag it here: http://shalomlifeplanner.com/

Needing someone to help guide you back to your spiritual health foundations, break out your self care routine, or check your mental and emotional health regularly through powerful questions and coaching? Learn more about what coaching with Sasha through the IAM could do for your life and self care by scheduling a call with Sasha here: https://calendly.com/intentionalabundanceco/iamconsult

Transcription

Coming Soon

Article

Coming Soon

More about your Podcast Host

Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Momlife with Jesus Podcast.

Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom x2 (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Momlife with Jesus Podcast.

Desiring Community?

You’re invited to join us in the Productively Peaceful Moms Club over on facebook! It’s a safe space where we can show up vulnerably and encourage each other, where ere share the mission of being the best mommas we can be through the grace and strength of Jesus Christ, where we encourage consistency and are able to hold each other accountable. We share scripture and talk about podcast episodes and pray for each other and set goals and so much more! You’re more than welcome here, you’re wanted here! https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance

021: The Trinity of Health (Mind, Body, & Soul) w/Stefanie Graffigna: Bridging the Gap Between Western Medicine and Biblical Stewardship in Wellness

Summary

Today on the Podcast we have a special guest, Stefanie Graffigna, a 21 year health care professional, Faith healer and Christian life coach, mom of 3, & wife of 23 years. Her business is Ebullient Living Wellness and she is a woman that loves the Lord and is passionate about helping others find wellness through the Trinity of Health. 

There is so much in store in this episode as Stef shares her heart about western medicine, the relationship between the Mind – Body – Soul in wellness, stewardship, trusting God, and so so much more! 

Stefanie has been a student of health and wellness for a majority of her life, through her journey towards her doctorate to lived wisdom, she has a plethora of knowledge and insight to share with her clients as she helps them get to the root of what is going on in their health with the Holy Spirit leading her. 

Join Stef in her Ebullient Living community at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2688471124816096/

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Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intentional-abundance/message

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020: Life Standards: Do you have any non-negotiable things in your life that help you show up as your best self and to steward your gifts and resources well?

Summary

In todays episode Sasha shares about Life Standards that help us show up as our best selves and to steward our gifts and resources well.

She discusses things like routines/schedules, bare minimum ‘queen bee roles’, making a plan and sticking to it, family, date, and personal time. 

Think of some basic and simple things you have or can establish in your life that can be the norm for you and your family to operate from. Make them your life standards and then work to stick to them.

Living a simply and peace-filled life doing the least you can with the greatest impact is the surest way to abundant living.

Are you not in the Intentional Abundance Community on Facebook yet? Join us ad let us know what your life standards are or ask questions if you’re struggling to sort them out. 

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Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/intentional-abundance/message

Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/intentional-abundance/support