Summary
In this episode Sasha chats with Sara Jimenez, wife, mother, Costco employee, Podcaster, Coach, speaker and zumba instructor!
Sara shares a powerful testimony about identifying as a Hot Mess Mom shortly into motherhood, simply because it’s what culture was doing. She challenged her thoughts, hired a coach, and learned practical steps to come out of this identity and into what and who God was calling her to become.
Listen in to learn from these 3 powerful steps to getting out of the Hot Mess Momlife, and step into intentional momlife. Then join us in the Intentional Momlife with Jesus Community over on Facebook to share your own testimony or takeaways. https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance
Want more Sara?
Podcast: The Beautiful Shift
Facebook: Sara Ann Jimenez
Instagram: @Balancedlifewithlove
Transcription
Sasha Star Robertson 0:02
Hey, hey, hey mamas. Happy Thursday. And welcome back to another episode of the Intentional Momlife With Jesus Podcast. I’m super excited to dig into this conversation today because we are talking about being a hot mess Mom. What!? Can I get a hand-up for any of you moms who have identified with that title? Well, I am super excited to dig into this because Sarah Jimenez and I share a really powerful conversation, not just about this thought or title or identity as a hot mess mom, but also three really powerful steps that you can take right now today to get out of that mindset and out of that identity. So let’s do this jingle and dive right in.
Sasha Star Robertson 2:00
Jingle.
Sasha Star Robertson 2:09
Hey, hey, hey, Sisters, we are here with another special guest. Her name is Sarah Jimenez. She is a wife of seven years to an incredible man, mother of one little boy who’s almost four years old named Roman. She is a Costco employee going on 12 years. Woo-woo! I love Costco! And a podcaster, coach, speaker, and Zumba instructor. Welcome, Sarah. Thank you so much for being here today. Anything you would love to add to that bio or anything else you want to tell us about yourself before we jump in?
Sarah Jimenez 3:03
No, but thank you. I appreciate it. I love, I’m so excited to be on here today and just to have this awesome, awesome conversation. It’s gonna be so good.
Sasha Star Robertson 3:11
Okay, sweet. Well, I know before recording it on your little application here you shared a little bit more about your story, kind of a testimony of how you went from a space that you were living in where you dubbed yourself a successful direct sales hot mess mom to living in this space that you are and being a podcaster, a speaker, and all these other things. So would you tell us a little bit about that story and that journey?
Unknown Speaker 3:42
Yeah, absolutely. So my son like I said he’s almost four years old now. I want to say it was about, I had started a direct sales business and it was very successful and when he was about four months old, so it was pretty quick after I had him I kind of just don’t move into that and honest. Honestly, it started as just a hobby and it turned into this amazing business. I do believe that that was a, you know, an amazing and incredible part of just my life and journey with motherhood and everything.
Unknown Speaker 4:18
But I do remember at about a year and a half, I remember at some point I was like okay, I’m doing amazing in my business. I was back at work part-time at Costco and I was leading a team of women, and all these things were great, but something just felt like it was missing. And I think I don’t remember at what point but there was just a moment that I think I heard myself say something. I claimed like I’m just a hot mess. And I remember how that just didn’t resonate with just, I don’t know, the inner me. It just didn’t resonate with my Holy Spirit. You know, that Holy Spirit feeling of just like hold on. This is not right.
Sarah Jimenez 4:57
And I remember kind of deciding at that point like, well wait a minute. I don’t like claiming this. I don’t like being a hot mess. Why do I have to be a hot mess just because I became a mom like that doesn’t need to be now socially that’s very acceptable. And that’s like an ongoing kind of joke slash. This is the way things are and you kind of have that acceptance so that’s probably where I got it from. And then obviously social influence naturally but I knew that it wasn’t where I wanted to be. I knew that it wasn’t who I was. And it wasn’t just because I you know, gave birth to this incredible human being. I didn’t need to feel like I was in havoc all the time. And that was just my excuse to not get ready get dressed not have a clean house not have you know things in order.
Sarah Jimenez 5:45
And not even talking like OCD crazy here. We’re just talking like in general, you know, everything was just kind of half done. Just chaotic. And I didn’t, I remember just thinking like, this is not me. This is not who I’m called to be. And this is not who I am. So, so I went through basically a series of steps. I would say, you know, in hindsight, I had no idea what I was doing. I was just like, Okay, I need to get out of this but how and then I went through a couple of different steps.
Sarah Jimenez 6:16
I hired a coach, a one-to-one coach, I started working just with her through some mindset stuff, just kind of breaking through some thought patterns and just moreso revealing and recognizing things that I was believing about myself and under it realizing that okay, if this is not who I want to be then I need to change my thoughts. Firstly, you know, and through coaching and through some other things, I started creating little habits. I started putting routines, and it’s kind of brought me to this place of now I actually am no longer running my direct sales business. That was something God called me to step away from recently, actually earlier this year. And that was I was tough, but he called me to do it and I said okay, and it’s opened up so many different doors.
Sarah Jimenez 7:05
So now I like I said in my bio and that amazing description that he introduced me with you know I part-time Zumba instructor which I do for my fun and it keeps me in shape. I am a podcaster I have my own podcast now. And then I’m getting ready to launch a business with another incredible woman, friend of mine and speaker and a coach. There’s just all these different opportunities have opened up since then. And I feel truly like at peace with everything I’m doing and that it’s walking in line with what God has for me also long term and short. So that’s the long slash short version of that story.
Sasha Star Robertson 7:48
I love it. That is so good. I think it shows us a beautiful picture of like how how I think so many of us, like fall into the same trap of and I would almost say trap because it is that that culture and socially accepted just like to even proclaim or label yourself as Oh yeah, I’m just a hot mess mom, like that’s just who I am and then you’re like, Wait, that’s not that’s not my god given identity. Like is there anywhere in scripture that says you are a hot mess mom, like you will become a mom and then everything will be hard. or anything like that, you know? And so I just love that story about that, because it’s not who you are, and you knew it was not who you were called to be.
Sasha Star Robertson 8:34
And I love that God just revealed that to you and, and put this like fire in your heart of getting out of this space and shifting this mindset and that He surrounded you with with people you know, or or even like led you to this coach who helped you work on that mindset to change those thoughts. And to create those habits and routines that is just super cool. And I love that it ultimately led you to laying down your direct sales company and just even how you pointed out how difficult that was because I think that’s a really important point too. A lot of it I think to come out of this hot mess mom space or even become more intentional in how we’re living in finding, you talk a lot about balanced life.
Sasha Star Robertson 9:27
And finding that space, it involves laying things down and even things that are like I don’t really want to I’ve worked hard to build this up and it’s successful and I have this team and it’s fun, but God had so much more for you. He said No, you’re a podcaster and a speaker and a coach and we’re gonna bring so much more cool stuff in this and you’re a Zumba instructor. I just can imagine you. I’ve done zoom but before so I’m like, I want to go do Zumba with Sarah, like next time I come to Florida. I have learned Uh, my current health coach lives in Florida. I have, well, I have another friend She’s actually leaving. But she’s with a network marketing company of sorts. And she’s like big on leading group fitness stuff. And I could just go to Florida and like workout all week in Florida I know that are like all about this but anyways, I digress a little rabbit hole there.
Sasha Star Robertson 10:23
A side note, I want to share, I love that you were like, my son was four months old, and I doing this direct sales company. And then all this other stuff happened. And now here I am, he’s almost four. And I’m a coach and a speaker and a podcaster. And I’m like, wow, that part is like so familiar to me. Because I think my son was, I think he was only like two or three months. Old when I joined into this network marketing company. And that really was because I was like home, changing diapers, and I left my career to like do and I’m like, I have nothing I have like no adult interaction until my husband comes home. And I have no like recognition. No advancement like no personal development nothing that I’m like, working towards after being like a career person for so long. It’s just such a weird transition. But ultimately like being in that network marketing company is it ended up being motherhood and that and that being this catalyst that brought me like into the space now. So I just think it’s really cool that our stories resonate on that topic.
Sasha Star Robertson 11:32
I know one of the things that you had mentioned this, you know, mindset and changing thoughts, but also creating habits and routines. And that’s one of the things that I know, my clients and listeners would love to hear is like, Okay, if you’re feeling like the hot mess mom? How, like, how do you get out of it? And that was a part of your journey. So can you provide us with a couple of tips or some information on? Like, how do we go from that? Like, how do we start creating these habits or routines? How do we, from your perspective, shift these thoughts to get out of that hot mess mom and into a space where we’re clearing the way of what work we might currently be doing that isn’t for us, but being obedient to what God has for us?
Unknown Speaker 12:23
Yeah, absolutely. And this is Oh, my gosh, like, I think back and one, I would say definitely find some type of accountability. So well, okay. First, you need to, this is actually something my coach actually used to use all the time. And I just love it. Because I’m like, wow, she said, you know, you need to decide to take radical responsibility for your life. So, really deciding, and that’s just really just a decision and a mental shift of knowing that you know what, my life looks the way it looks. Now. There are some things that I cannot control, but the things that I can control, does it look the way that I want it to look? Or are there things that I need to work on?
Sarah Jimenez 13:06
And so taking radical responsibilities first, right, realizing that okay, if you are not where you want to be, if you are not, you know, in a place that you feel lined up with the things like, you know, where you shouldn’t be now we all have a right we’re gonna go through ups and downs and go through those trials. But, you know, if you feel like you’re not in a place of peace at this point, then you’re like, I feel like a hot mess like I resonate with that, which, by the way, sidenote, hot mess mom, I looked it up. Now, it’s not actually in like a dictionary, but I believe it’s in Oxford. It says you might find it the Oxford Dictionary. But basically, it refers to a person or thing that is disorganized and just shoveled.
Sarah Jimenez 13:47
That is not what I want to be labeled as in any form or way or recognized as and so when I looked that up, I was like, Whoa, that hurts. Like, wait a minute, I’m declaring, you know, and I know you and I are in agreement on this and probably choose what we say with our words is truly impactful. And then we also, because of what we speak out of our mouth, our minds also believe and absorb. So, you know, even though I was doing great in my business, doing good in different areas of my life, like I said, declaring that over myself was just one big no, no. So you know, having deciding that you want to take radical responsibility, number one,
Sarah Jimenez 14:24
Number two, get some accountability. For me, it was a coach, you know, that might be something that you want to invest in getting a coach and really say, I need to run alongside me in this journey and help me process some of these things. Because there is so much power and naturally as women, like if you compare women to men, you know, we like to talk things out. We need to verbalize things and get it out that we can hear it, process it and then also kind of just talk out like what makes sense and what steps are next because we have so many thoughts swirling through our minds just so fast. And like you said, a lot of moms get to a place where, you know, once they have children, they don’t talk to people, well adults, you know, they’re always they’re somehow confined to just their own thoughts and then the time that they do, or you know, with friends, family, like it’s so limited that you don’t get to just talk about what you’re going through.
Sarah Jimenez 15:21
So I think either hiring a coach or finding someone that can give you really good accountability and talking about some of the things that you want to do, and then working on taking small, very, very small steps. One thing I talk about when I talk about habits and routines is let’s not you know get up one day and be like oh my gosh, I feel prepped in my life. I’m going to meal prep for the next three weeks like that’s just silly. Don’t do it. Especially if you have a little one at home. Okay, like I am super flexible when it comes to my habits and routine.
Sarah Jimenez 15:52
And I say that in the sense of, I don’t just wake up every single day and go like, Okay, I gotta make the bed before I walked to the kitchen. Like when I first started, I always joke with my, my old, my ex-boss. I said that was the that was what got us started. It’s making our bit sound silly. But there are a lot of people like me, who just never made the bed. And it sounds it seems so so small. But once I started that, just creating that like routine, and you know, now it’s become an actual habit. But it wasn’t like I rolled out of bed and I said, Okay, I gotta make the bed first. Like it took time. And sometimes it would be in the middle of the day, that I walked into the room and I said, Oh, I gotta make the bed today.
Sarah Jimenez 16:44
You know, and I, in my podcast, I talked about different tools that you use to help you remember to help kind of prompt you to do these things, especially because if you’re anything like me, and I know there’s a lot of us out there, like your brain just goes off and you’re like, Hold on score, like thinking about something else totally forgot about the bed. It’s now eight o’clock at night, I’m getting ready to climb into bed a couple hours. So why am I going to make it at this point? You know what I mean? So I would say that is the best starting point, you know, is that mindset piece of really shifting and deciding to take responsibility. And then getting some accountability and talking out some of the changes that you want to see in your life. So basically finding, you know, friends or a community of some sort, which I do talk about the podcast as well. And then from there working on those habits and systems and doing different things to help propel you into building that belief about yourself and what you can accomplish.
Sasha Star Robertson 17:42
So, so good. I love this because they are three very, very punchy, very specific, but like things that we can put into place, but also, like there’s so much gold in each and every one of them. I love how you’re like number one, find some accountability, actually, number one is the mindset piece, you have to decide to take radical responsibility. And I love the question that you had asked, does what I can control look like what I want it to look like. And that is just huge. That is such a powerful question. Because I do think when you are living in like the chaos and the overwhelming the hot mess, mom like place, sometimes it can be like I’m just trying to keep my head above the water.
Sasha Star Robertson 18:29
Like, I’m so disorganized and disheveled that that is it’s hard to even like take a breath or go to the bathroom by yourself or whatever else. But I think it really is like a decision like, is this how I want to live? And if it’s not then there It is a way out. I think some people they think they don’t want to live that way but really like, maybe it’s goes back to childhood trauma or different things like that. I don’t know exactly. But like I think some people actually do like it. I think maybe part of it is like, culture and society like sometimes a hot mess mom is like a badge of honor, like the busyness and the overwhelm is like.
Sasha Star Robertson 19:10
I’m, on my I, actually a podcast episode last week that came out was kind of about this I’ve just like almost like our self sacrifice and motherhood can sometimes be this like, Maybe a chip on our shoulder. I didn’t say it like that in the podcast episode, but like, just questioning, is it actually biblical? Or is this damaging? And so I think bringing into that radical, just like personal responsibility is like, is this how I want to live? Yes or no, it makes it so much simpler to actually take those steps to come out, which is almost number one, but really have to decide before you can take that first step, and in finding the accountability, and I love so much that you’ve brought into this. And so many reasons why.
Sasha Star Robertson 20:03
And you said, maybe it’s hiring a coach, but it’s finding someone and I just want to caution the listeners too, because I think you have to be very careful with like, just coming into accountability with friends, or even like your husband or whatever else. And so just like a little personal story here, I can’t remember how many times I’ve asked my husband to like, help me stay accountable with like, not eating ice cream, you know, or, or, like, help me stay accountable with this gym routine, or whatever else, but it’s like, your husband and your friends that are really close to you.
Sasha Star Robertson 20:35
Like they’re always going to value the relationship over like that tough love sometimes of like, you know, hurting your feelings, or, or whatever else by saying no to you, or like, I don’t think that’s the wisest choice or, you know, you said you wanted to do this, but I’m seeing you not doing it like what’s going on. I think sometimes when we’re like, it’s supposed to be close relationship like that, that we’re able to say those things to each other.
Sasha Star Robertson 21:01
But we live in a very like I don’t know, I don’t even know the word for it, like, easily hurt or offended or triggered society these days. I feel like we have to be very careful and cautious in that. And so it’s like it’s, I think it’s always best to find somebody that’s literally you’re asking them to be your mentor to be your accountability partner to be your coach or coming into that relationship with somebody that you have hired to do so because they hold a different role in a different place in your life.
Sasha Star Robertson 21:35
So, I love that you brought up so many reasons as to why that’s really important. So like to help you process to help make sense of things to to help you To see like, what steps are next for the changes that I want to make. And then, and then number three routines, habits and systems. So, so good. I have been in this season lately where I’m like, preparing for baby to come. And I’ve been making like a lot of very small shifts that have been like, super powerful. And like the whole you mentioned, like meal prepping or meal planning, you know, going from nothing to I’m going to cook a month’s worth of freezer meals or whatever. I was like, oh, no, you’re likely going to fail on that. But just like my goal is three meals a week that I’m going to plan like pre-planned for, you know, the beginning of the week, this is what we’re making this week.
Sasha Star Robertson 22:29
And just doing a menu for our home of like, this is what things are going to look like it takes like, not even 20 minutes to like mentally set that up for the week. And it takes out like hours of stress of like, what are we going to eat for dinner tonight? Oh, my goodness, I didn’t take any chicken out of the freezer. And like, all this chaos and stress just from making those teeny tiny little habit shifts or putting those systems in place. So I love, love, love that we’re on the same page with that.
Sasha Star Robertson 22:59
And I love that you mentioned on your podcast, too, you talk about having those like prompts and how important the flexibility in those like, routines and habits and systems are so, so, so, so much goodness, I think you like immensely for being on any, like last minute thoughts of like, what you want the hot mess moms or even somebody who’s like, already been taking steps of coming out of this hot mess mom, like what do you want her to hear?
Sarah Jimenez 23:30
Well, I would say that, you know, in hindsight, looking back, and like I said, it’s not like, you know, I had self-proclaimed that I was a hot mess mom. Now not it’s not necessarily that other people viewed me that way. And you know, maybe you’re sitting in a place where you’re like, Well, you know, on the outside, I look like you know, I have it together and I got things going the way that I want to go but if you have that just little you know, for me it was just I don’t know, I’m just I felt like it was just literally my inner spirit man just saying like, okay, like, this is not this is not on them. You’re not on the path like it’s time to change. It’s time to make some adjustments right.
Sarah Jimenez 24:13
And I know that in that first year of motherhood Things are just crazy. And it’s hard and it’s a lot of adjustment so I almost you know not to say that you couldn’t start implementing things for sure in that first year you know, but for me I remember it was about a year and a half right where I kind of really was like, okay, like we are okay, we survived this fall. We are going to make get, you know, it really just if you’re in that place where you’re like, you’re feeling that inner voice saying like, this is not where you need to be, then I would just say, really consider what beliefs you have about yourself.
Sarah Jimenez 24:50
You know, God has created all of us to step into not just one calling, but He has so many callings on our lives and so many things that He wants that He has gifted us with naturally. And then, you know, people, He places in our lives to help us in the areas that we need, so that we can be a light and we can help others.
Sarah Jimenez 25:10
And I truly believe that sometimes, you know, with the distractions of even motherhood, and I don’t say that in a negative way, but it is easy, you know, when you have so much going on to get distracted from what the callings are in your life. So I think just remembering that, you know, if you have that inner voice, you’re hearing that you’re like, who, you know, make sure that you, one, my biggest thing, honestly, is journaling things out. And I love that you were saying how you write down when you were planning meals, I was like,
Sarah Jimenez 25:41
Oh, yes, that’s such a great first step, writing things out, not on your phone, not on the computer, don’t take them out, don’t feel like put down all of the devices and just grab old good old school. Okay, get one of get a nice clicky pen and write some things out. And journaling, which I actually have been transitioning and talking a lot more about on my show as well have was such a big pivotal point for me. And it was one of the first steps in my habits that I created for myself and I continuously use that as truly transformed just my mental and emotional clarity into a place where now I feel like okay, like I am not scatterbrained 24/7 because I was able to get it out.
Sarah Jimenez 26:27
But point being is, you know, if you feel that, make sure that you are seeking out some type of help, whether that’s you know, a coach, and don’t go to your husband, I totally agree with you on that, by the way. I don’t not I love my husband. He’s amazing. And in fact, he is probably I admire him in so many ways, but he’s not the person I go to. To keep, he will encourage me and uplift me and we’re going to keep it at that. But I seek out coaches I seek out, you know people that are truly communities that are going to just help with that accountability piece. So making sure that you’re stepping out and taking those steps so that you can come out of this hot mess identity or whatever other identity you’ve taken on. And you can live out you know, not only being an amazing mom, and the best mom that you know, to me but also walking out all that God has called you to whether that’s in the workplace if you’re a working mom or maybe it’s at home maybe it’s in your community maybe it’s just within your family you know there’s so many different areas. So you can walk out what God’s called him to do.
Sarah Jimenez 27:29
So I think it’s important to know, to recognize what is it, you know, stick with yourself? And what does that inner spirit saying? Like? Are there beliefs about you that are not godly beliefs? And are they setting you up to, you know, just cruise and stay in that identity? Or are you working towards that growth and the goals and the things that God has for you? So really just exploring that and then deciding, what are you going to do about it now?
Sasha Star Robertson 27:56
Love it. So perfect. So real quick, Sarah, you’ve mentioned the podcast and other things, where can people find you and connect and listen to some of those episodes you’ve talked about and all of that fun stuff.
Sarah Jimenez 28:08
So you can find me on most platforms for my podcast. If you search, that beautiful shift, all spelled out. That last word, just in case it sounds funny, it’s Shi, f t shift, like shifting, shifting gears. So the beautiful shift is the podcasting. And then you can find me on Instagram at balanced life with love all spelled out, balanced life with love. So that’s where you can connect with me. I love to hear from just my audience in general, most people connect me I’m on Facebook, too, but most people on Instagram, so that’s easier.
Sasha Star Robertson 28:39
Love it. I need to go find you on Instagram because I don’t think I’m following you over there. Awesome. Well, thank you so much, Sarah, for all of these tips and for sharing your story with us and and just sharing with the listeners like who might feel like they’re in that space, how to practically get out of it. And even to ask that question like, What is the Holy Spirit prompting me to do, what beliefs am I having that are not in line with God? And if you’re feeling the Holy Spirit saying it’s time jump sister like it is ready to shift to the beautiful. Just like Sarah talks about.
Sarah Jimenez 29:16
That, a beautiful shift that’s gonna happen.
Sasha Star Robertson 29:18
Yes. Well, thank you so much. Thank you listeners for taking the time to jump on here and receive this fabulous information. I hope you’ll have a God-blessed week.
More about your Podcast Host
Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Momlife with Jesus Podcast.
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