089: How to Remain Consistent through Changing Seasons & Circumstances with Robbie Robertson

Summary

In this episode Sasha and her husband, Robbie Robertson, share how they have recently added a newborn to their family but have managed to maintain consistency in their habits, routines, & rituals regardless of the changing circumstances and season.

Listen in to hear about how you can take steps now to intentionally implement habits, rituals, and routines into your life that are sustainable though shifting circumstances and changing seasons in life.

Recurring Special Guest, and Sasha's Husband, Robert Robertson is back on the podcast to share about to maintain consistency in their habits, routines, & rituals regardless of the changing circumstances and season.

Then join us in the Intentional Momlife with Jesus Community to share your takeaways! 

Transcription

Sasha Star Robertson 0:03
Hello sisters and welcome back to another episode of the Intentional Momlife With Jesus Podcast. We are here with the special reoccurring guest, Robbie Robertson, my fabulous husband. And we have some very exciting family news to share with you guys. But also how this change in circumstance and change in seasons of our life has not created chaos or inconsistencies in our home and we’re going to share some tips and habits, rituals, routines, and things that might be able to help you through changing seasons and changing circumstances.

Sasha Star Robertson 0:53
Jingle.

Sasha Star Robertson 0:54
We have a baby!

Robbie Robertson 2:23
It’s a boy, another boy.

Sasha Star Robertson 2:25
Yay!

Sasha Star Robertson 2:27
So if you follow me on social or you’re a friend or family member of mine, you might have already seen this news. But at the beginning of August, we found out that our two-year-long adoption journey was having some action. We were chosen by an expectant mom to parent and raise her little one. He wasn’t due actually until mid-September, but they were expecting him before the end of August. So I think it was August 15. We got to go meet her. And the very next Monday, we got a phone call that she was in active labor. So we rushed to the hospital. And we weren’t even there for 20 minutes before he was born and then quickly rolled into our room; we got to start the bonding and skin-to-skin time and just have these sweet moments he is now, goodness, like 11 days old, I think.

Sasha Star Robertson 3:25
And so very quick. But we’re kind of used to that our first son was adopted and same thing very quick from probably, I think a week out of us finding out about him until we needed to be across the country was about a week. We were pretty familiar with that. But of course, as you can imagine, we now suddenly have a newborn, we had a lot of things on our schedule and a lot of plans, business-wise, home-wise, travel-wise, all different kinds of stuff on our list. And in addition to that, you know, we have a business we have… Robbie has a full-time career, we have a home, we have a toddler. And this adding a newborn has surprisingly and gratefully not created chaos and just this massive I don’t even know the word for a massive like downfall, I guess you could say right?

Robbie Robertson 4:23
Disruption,

Sasha Star Robertson 4:24
Disruption, yes, to our home and our family. And we felt like it would be the perfect opportunity to come and share how some of these habits and rituals and routines and things in our life that were already established prior to baby coming have been very easy to maintain and remain consistent even through this changing of seasons and through these changing circumstances.

Sasha Star Robertson 4:52
And so we wanted to share that with you guys a little bit today. Share about some of those things and hopefully give some tips for any of you who may be going through changing seasons, changing circumstances, maybe adding to your family, growing your family, just to know that you don’t have to go into this different season and kind of throw everything out the window. So Robbie, do you want to start taking it away with whatever one, whatever’s on your mind?

Robbie Robertson 5:20
Well, I just first just want to celebrate the fact that we have this newborn child in our home. And I remember speaking to His birth grandmother, and his aunt, and we had met them prior to and in the hospital. And they had said, you know, somebody was praying for this child. And we were praying pretty fervently and God’s really come through on this. And it’s just been really kind of wonderful.

Robbie Robertson 5:42
But preparing for this kiddo to come home has actually been quite a work in the making. We started with an initial match actually, back in February, we, we were planning on being home for the summer, we had all these plans for monetizing the space that we already have in the other things to try to help build up with the equity that we need in order to pay for the adoption and these just sorts of plans that we’ve done for the past five years. And in February, we were actually matched with a birth mom, she actually had a 13-month-old. And when we got that phone call, it ultimately ended up falling through, but it put us in a position of okay, we need to actually figure out what we’re going to be doing this summer because we’re going to have a new kiddo in this home.

Robbie Robertson 6:27
And that caused us to change some of our plans that we had already set into place. Put a few other things into motion as far as like canceling Airbnb, staying in our home, but it began a routine of establishing okay these are the things that we’re going to be doing. So we’re already pretty consistent with doing things like our laundry doing our dishes. Food prep is something that we are a lot better about now, specifically you, Sasha, which I really appreciate. We’ve gone back and forth on this depending on what the season of life is by just getting ourselves into our home, and keeping our home foundation, our four walls, as Dave Ramsey calls it in a really consistent place that has gone a really long way towards integrating this new child into our life.

Robbie Robertson 7:14
We weren’t already juggling, and then have a baby thrown into it. We were managing and maintaining. And we did a lot of this through my favorite thing in the world, which is habits, rituals, and routines. When you wake up in the morning, you have a routine of things that you do. There’s a sequence of events that happens throughout your week that you keep up with, laundry happens on this day, the garbage goes out on this day. The dishes get done periodically through the week.

Sasha Star Robertson 7:41
Yeah, I love that. And I completely agree. I just want to like backstep a little bit here because you talked about, you know, a morning routine. And I think, you know, being fully transparent and honest when you have a newborn like that’s the number one thing that gets thrown out and I think that’s been, you know, a big hiccup for each of us because even during these like two weeks of paternity leave and time where I’m not working we do have a complete wrench thrown in our morning routine because we’re used to waking up at 4:30 in the morning together, praying together, setting our daily intentions, you go off to work, that’s my trigger for my Jesus time in the morning. And we haven’t had that.

Sasha Star Robertson 8:19
And so I actually have a health coach that I’ve been working with that has, I guess helped to remind me that that there is this trigger that’s now missing temporarily. And so I’ve created a new trigger for this season, that when I sit down to feed the baby, first thing in the morning, I’m going to pull up a devotion on my YouVersion app on my phone, and commit to reading that and spending that time with the Lord, before I jump into checking my email or text messages, or the social media scroll, or whatever else.

Sasha Star Robertson 8:55
So I’ve had to create a new trigger in my morning routine to get me to that Jesus point. But I just wanted to touch base on that like morning routine really quickly first, because I think that is the number one thing that does get thrown out with a newborn. Do you have anything to like, add to that, because I know we’re waking up at different times. Usually, we’re taking shifts where you know, you’re letting me sleep in sleep better, I’m letting you sleep in from nighttime feedings, and whatnot. So…

Robbie Robertson 9:24
Yeah, as much as I like to set up myself, I also like to try to set us up for taking care of the baby. So before we go to bed at night, all the bottles in the house get totally cleaned, sanitized, and everything gets laid out for those middle-of-the-night feedings. And then, early in the morning, when the night is come and passed, whatever dishes are in the sink, and along with the bottles, I will clean those and reset those. Not everybody’s bottle feeding, that’s our routine, you’re gonna have yours. But just to take those markers in the day and just reset everything okay, now it’s all fresh, and then you’ve got fresh dishes, fresh bottles, they’re not a concern. They’re off your plate, you can focus on other way more important things.

Sasha Star Robertson 10:07
I think this to like, just this topic goes back to one of the last podcast episodes we’ve done together, which was about rising with intention. And you just made me think of that and how you’re like, you know, think of yourself as the one you’re setting yourself up for success and so for more morning routine type stuff and Robbie’s like amazing at this go back and listen to that episode. But then moving on into these different habits and rituals and routines right. I shared about creating a new trigger for my Jesus habit because the trigger of my husband leaving isn’t happening right now these couple of weeks where we’re at home, but other habits that you might have right.

Sasha Star Robertson 10:46
I have a drinking water habit that is when I wake up before I even put my feet on the floor, I will drink eight to 12 ounces of water just like my water bottle is already there. So I have that trigger of like waking up drink the water. So I have that in my body first thing in the morning. What other things do you have? I have that like that’s a habit and a trigger that I can remain consistent whether I have a newborn or not like regardless of the season and so that is a healthy habit that I had in place prior to baby coming, that having a newborn or a baby coming into the picture did not change.

Sasha Star Robertson 11:26
Similarly, with food prep, that’s been something that I’ve been into the habit of, for probably a good month before he came. And so knowing and looking at our like family’s favorite meals list, picking out a couple of them, what are we going to eat this week, and just having a day, where I’m planning, these are the foods we’re going to eat. This is what we need on the shopping list. And just having a couple of hours one day a week set aside where I can prep some of those meals goes so far for setting our family up for success. And that’s something that I can still do now that the newborn is here, like that habit, in that routine does not need to change.

Sasha Star Robertson 12:07
And then Robbie, you had talked about like, I know, you said, like, let’s not brag here on the podcast, but we don’t want to rub it in people’s faces. But Robbie is like kind of this. He’s, he’s like I said kind of gold standard in the routines. And he’s like, I’m the one who’s like, let’s do the non-routines. I’m the one that’s like anything non-routine, I can get into like planning and tackling that. But in terms of like laundry and dishes, Robbie is like super regular with them.

Sasha Star Robertson 12:37
And it’s actually become this little battle in our home. I have to like fight to be able to do the laundry and dishes. And it’s it’s a treat for him. Every time that I get it done. And it’s a treat for me too. Because it’s me too. It’s me knowing that I’m being a good steward of my home. But like if Robbie will see his laundry, you know, he’s bound to wash it, he can’t help himself if he sees dishes in the sink. I mean, you guys, there are times I’m cooking. And he will take the knife and cutting board once I turn my back and wash them and I’m like, turn back around to cut something. And I’m like, where did this go? He’s like, I washed it. And I’m like, Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness.

Sasha Star Robertson 13:15
To me, I’m like, You’re literally doing work multiple times. But to him, he just wants to get it done and move on. So, Robbie, you take it away with the laundry and dishes like what are the triggers? What? How do you maintain, that habit and that routine in that ritual? Like, what is it inside of you that you can give to people that could be a very good and practical takeaway for them?

Robbie Robertson 13:38
I find that having really small deadlines ahead of me are what help motivate me to get things done. This really harkens back to like high school where I had a history teacher who was like, Well, I know you guys are all gonna procrastinate on doing your research papers. So you’re just gonna have a research paper due every Friday until the end of the semester because I know you’re just gonna take four days to criminate anyways, and it was super overwhelming, but it kind of hardwired me to get things done. Because I just want them off my plate and off my mind.

Robbie Robertson 14:05
The longer a task daunts, the more you build it up and then you find yourself like kind of naturally procrastinating; where if you just lean right into it, You get it done. So my deadlines are Wednesday. That’s trash day. So Tuesday night or Wednesday morning the trash goes out, all the trash in the house consolidated, put it in the can by the road doesn’t matter the weather. We do it every single week. Our Sabbath day is Friday because my Monday is Saturday. So Thursday night is when I usually will do the laundry. I know that I can get it done and ever thing and when we sit down Thursday night for a little bit of TV time that we take, I can fold laundry and…

Sasha Star Robertson 14:45
A little bit Let’s not lie.

Robbie Robertson 14:47
I mean it’s it’s only four people’s worth, you know, a toddler and infant, two grown adults for the entire week. It’s not that bad compared to like an entire military flight. We can sit down and mindlessly work while I’m watching TV and it’s sort of a leisure activity. Like some people will sit there and knit some will sew, I’ll just fold laundry.

Sasha Star Robertson 15:11
some will scroll social media, and not watch the show, some will create content or stickers to print and sell.

Robbie Robertson 15:18
Yeah, you’re not talking about anybody specific. Yeah, no, no, no nobody’s, as an example, hypothetically, maybe. So that’s just a way that you can use your downtime as passive, yet active to get things done.

Robbie Robertson 15:35
The dishes I actually take the approach of crow is a dish best served warm, instead of letting the… It’s like if you have a problem with somebody, it’s better to deal with it now than let the problem fester. Same thing with dishes. If say you make like a delicious vat of spaghetti. If you let that thing sit out overnight and into the next day, when you go to clean that thing, it is going to be like chipping cement. But if you wash that bad boy right away, it is amazing how little time it takes. Because one of the reasons that I clean everything almost as soon as you’re done with it is because I know how much easier it is. And I’ve kind of ingrained that. So just being ahead of things and getting them done now. It’s typically less effort.

Robbie Robertson 16:18
It’s taking up less real estate in your mind. And it’s one less thing that you have to worry about later you can focus on other things because let’s be honest moms, you know the blowout’s coming, you just don’t know when the blowout’s coming. And you don’t want to have three other things going on while you’re dealing with a poopsplosion. Sure, they’re lots of fun some people think. I don’t.

Sasha Star Robertson 16:40
I actually had our first leakaage on my watch earlier.

Robbie Robertson 16:43
No!

Sasha Star Robertson 16:45
See his new outfit?

Robbie Robertson 16:46
I was wondering why he was wearing that.

Sasha Star Robertson 16:48
I know you guys have probably been hearing all of his sweet baby coos, so that’s just a little extra special treat for you guys.

Sasha Star Robertson 16:57
But yeah, I think Robbie and I are both kind of on the same page there. I’ve shared previously on this podcast about you know, our kind of cleaning routine. We’re not like, you know, OCD like we’re not going to the tee like you’re going to come to our house on a random day and it’s not going to be you know, spotless by any means but we have our routine to like clean before our Sabbath so we can rest. So we know like if obviously there spilled milk or you know rotting food take hear of that but typically you know we don’t sweep and mop the floors or dust or like do you know any of this extra stuff unless it is that specific day of the week preparing for our day of rest.

Sasha Star Robertson 17:42
And so it frees up a lot of that mental energy and everything going into it. And so that’s been something too, that has been really easy to continue to maintain, even with this changing season and changing circumstances and adding a newborn to our family.

Sasha Star Robertson 17:58
And then, one of the last things that we wanted to share with you guys today has to do with just maintaining consistency with our toddler. We’re going to do a whole nother, actually, episode on this, like in a little bit more in depth. But just kind of this idea that even though we’ve had this changing circumstance, in this changing season, like our toddler has received the same amount of attention, the same amount of quality time, arguably maybe even a little bit more. We’ve been very intentional about it. And his bedtime routine and his naps have remained consistent, his meal times and things like that. And so as far as he’s concerned, there’s not really been any kind of disruption in our family on account of baby brother joining us.

Robbie Robertson 18:49
Yeah, we’ve actually made an effort to, and we’ll talk about this more detail. But we’ve included him in a lot of the big brothering, which I think has gone a long way to his ownership and buying into it. But like Sasha had said, just maintaining the consistency and routine in his life. And it’s helped all of us to kind of cope with this because, you know, with the changing circumstance of another human being the foundations of how his day goes has been preserved.

Sasha Star Robertson 19:17
Yeah. Perfect. Well, thank you so much Robbie for jumping on here again, and sharing this podcast episode with me and just these tips that I really hope you guys can take away and maybe even glean some insight into any changing seasons or circumstances that might be coming up in your family, or in your life. And mostly, I just want you to know that a newborn being added to your family doesn’t have to throw a wrench in everything, it doesn’t have to mean chaos is going to ensue. And it doesn’t have to mean that everything else has to be laid aside completely.

Sasha Star Robertson 19:59
So remember your most purposeful priorities, remember your values, and make sure that you’re still living in accordance with them. Regardless of the changing seasons and circumstances and if you need any help doing that, jump into the Intentional Momlife With Jesus Community. The link is always in the show notes jump into a concert with me girl, let’s let’s talk about those values, those purposeful priorities. Let’s talk about this mindset mastery, and your schedule and implementing some of these habits and rituals, and routines. And make sure you are set up for success regardless of the changing seasons and circumstances.

Sasha Star Robertson 20:38
And don’t forget to subscribe so you can hear this next episode with Robbie as we’re talking about this, adding to your family and maintaining the consistency with your toddler, with your older kids, and making sure they are still receiving everything that they need with that changing season and changing circumstance. That will be coming up later this month. And if you’ve been blessed by this episode or any other here, I would love nothing more than for you to leave a review. Thanks so much and I hope you have a God-blessed week.

More about your Podcast Host

Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Momlife with Jesus Podcast.

Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Abundant Life Podcast.

Would you benefit from having a coach helping you live Productively Peaceful days digging into Faithful Foundations, Purposeful Priorities, Mindset Mastery, & Simple Selfcare? This question is rhetorical, everyone would! Schedule a consult with Sasha to learn more about the IAM Coaching Program and to see if you’d be a good it. https://calendly.com/intentionalabundanceco/iamconsult

Desiring Community?

You’re invited to join us in the Productively Peaceful Moms Club over on facebook! It’s a safe space where we can show up vulnerably and encourage each other, where ere share the mission of being the best mommas we can be through the grace and strength of Jesus Christ, where we encourage consistency and are able to hold each other accountable. We share scripture and talk about podcast episodes and pray for each other and set goals and so much more! You’re more than welcome here, you’re wanted here! https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance

088: The One Belief That Is Holding You Back from Being an Intentional Mom

Summary

In this episode Sasha shares one powerful belief shift that changes everything about living intentionally as a mom.

It’s truly so simple, it sounds like fluff… but when you choose to shift these thought process and beliefs about yourself as a women, a child of God, and a mother… your actions shift and different results are created in your life. 

Listen in and then join us in the Intentional Momlife with Jesus Community to share your takeaways and do life with us! https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance

Transcription

0:03
Hey, hey sisters! Welcome back to another episode of the Intentional Momlife With Jesus Podcast. Today I have a very short yet very powerful message and it is talking about the number one thing that is standing in your way to becoming an intentional mom.

0:36
Jingle.

1:40
Alright. So before diving into intentional motherhood, we first need to take a minute to talk about the word intentional, and intentional means, done on purpose or deliberate. I think so many of us can set out in motherhood in life in general, and strive to be more intentional. I think it starts with our mind right? It starts with these thoughts that I want to be more intentional. I hope it’s not coming from a place of I should be more intentional or I need to be more intentional. But I truly desire to be more intentional. Because I believe God is an intentional God. I believe He takes intentional actions each and every day towards the greater purposes, right towards His good and His will. And since the beginning of time, He has been working out all things for His glory and for the good of those who love Him. And that is a very intentional thing.

3:12
I was actually reading the other day this Facebook post where somebody said they really don’t like that, I think it’s Cody Asbury song, Reckless Love because they don’t think or believe that God’s love is reckless and that God’s love is very intentional. And I have my own thoughts about that. Because I think to the world it does look reckless, right I believe all of Christianity looks reckless to the world. It looks insane if you’re not filled with the Holy Spirit and really have that almost supernatural… His ways are higher than ours. Anyways, going down a rabbit trail here. But that God’s love is very intentional, all of God’s actions, all of God’s plan and timing and will, and everything comes together through His very intentional actions and we’re created in His image.

4:04
So I do believe it is a Godly thing. It is a righteous thing for us to want to be more intentional to desire and strive to be more intentional. But there is something that is always – seems to be anyway – standing in the way of us becoming more intentional. And no matter how good our almost intentions, right, you know, good intentions behind being intentional, are, this can consistently stand in our way. And that number one thing is belief.

4:43
It is the belief that you are intentional, that you are an intentional mom. I’m a firm believer that our actions always flow from our thoughts and our emotions. We create results through our actions and so if we want to shift the results that we’re seeing in life, if we want the outcome to be that we are more intentional, we have to first start by shifting our mindset and shifting what we believe.

5:20
Do you believe that you are intentional?

5:26
And I think this can seem a little bit like this easy question, right? But if you actually take the time to sit down and ask, Do I believe that I am intentional when I make a schedule or I make a plan, and I set out on my day to do this? Do I believe that I am actually going to be able to take these deliberate, done-on-purpose choices to create the outcome or the result that I’m looking for? Whether it’s accomplishing my to-do list, whether it’s achieving a goal and health or business or family or whatever else. Do I actually believe in the possibility of that? Do I believe that I am somebody who is able to accomplish and achieve what I have set out to do before me?

6:19
Proverbs 23:7, in the King James Version, says for as he thinketh in his heart, so is he, and I just sit with this verse and I think on it and I am just thankful that the Lord brought this to me because it confirms so much of what I already know in my heart. It confirms so much of this lived wisdom. And I just love when he just drops those things in front of me. I believe we have a God of confirmation, right? I hope that you do. There’s a scripture that talks about a God of confirmation. And I just want you to know that the number one thing that you can do to be an intentional Mom, is to believe that you are an intentional mom, that you, who you are with what you have right now, is capable of doing the things that God has put on your heart to do and serving your family and serving your home and whatever other mission he has on your heart, if he does because he has called and equipped you to do those very things.

7:48
So if you’re struggling to believe that you are an intentional Mom, take this proverbs 23:7 in the King James Version and any other scripture that you need. Lysa TerKeurst calls them “therefore statements”. I am a child of God, Therefore… fill in the blank with whatever scripture there is that reminds you and shows you that you are an intentional mom because scripture says so. Stephanie gas calls them “God says statements,” in the life and goals planner you’ll see them as “I am elaborations.”

8:25
Right, there are I am affirmations but there are I am elaborations. We can’t just say, I am an intentional mom. I am an intentional mom. I am an intentional mom. That’s not going to make you a more intentional mom. Affirmations don’t necessarily create beliefs. We need to go to what we know as truth, which is the living word of God, and create this power stack of evidence that we can stand on so that anytime the enemy tries to wiggle in there and convince you that you are not an intentional mom, that you are not capable in Christ, that God has not equipped you for this present moment that he has put you in, that you have scripture and truth to go back to.

9:15
Okay, so the number one thing standing in your way to becoming an intentional mom is believing that you are an intentional mom. God bless and take care sisters.

More about your Podcast Host

Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Momlife with Jesus Podcast.

Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Abundant Life Podcast.

Would you benefit from having a coach helping you live Productively Peaceful days digging into Faithful Foundations, Purposeful Priorities, Mindset Mastery, & Simple Selfcare? This question is rhetorical, everyone would! Schedule a consult with Sasha to learn more about the IAM Coaching Program and to see if you’d be a good it. https://calendly.com/intentionalabundanceco/iamconsult

Desiring Community?

You’re invited to join us in the Productively Peaceful Moms Club over on facebook! It’s a safe space where we can show up vulnerably and encourage each other, where ere share the mission of being the best mommas we can be through the grace and strength of Jesus Christ, where we encourage consistency and are able to hold each other accountable. We share scripture and talk about podcast episodes and pray for each other and set goals and so much more! You’re more than welcome here, you’re wanted here! https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance

087: 3 Steps to Getting Out of the Hot Mess Mom Life with Sara Jimenez

Summary

In this episode Sasha chats with Sara Jimenez, wife, mother, Costco employee, Podcaster, Coach, speaker and zumba instructor! 

Sara shares a powerful testimony about identifying as a Hot Mess Mom shortly into motherhood, simply because it’s what culture was doing. She challenged her thoughts, hired a coach, and learned practical steps to come out of this identity and into what and who God was calling her to become. 

Wife, mother, podcaster, coach, and Zumba instructor, Sara Jimenez shares her testimony about overcoming the hot mess mom identity and living intentionally as a mom.

Listen in to learn from these 3 powerful steps to getting out of the Hot Mess Momlife, and step into intentional momlife. Then join us in the Intentional Momlife with Jesus Community over on Facebook to share your own testimony or takeaways. https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance

Want more Sara?
Podcast: The Beautiful Shift
Facebook: Sara Ann Jimenez
Instagram: @Balancedlifewithlove

Transcription

Sasha Star Robertson 0:02
Hey, hey, hey mamas. Happy Thursday. And welcome back to another episode of the Intentional Momlife With Jesus Podcast. I’m super excited to dig into this conversation today because we are talking about being a hot mess Mom. What!? Can I get a hand-up for any of you moms who have identified with that title? Well, I am super excited to dig into this because Sarah Jimenez and I share a really powerful conversation, not just about this thought or title or identity as a hot mess mom, but also three really powerful steps that you can take right now today to get out of that mindset and out of that identity. So let’s do this jingle and dive right in.

Sasha Star Robertson 2:00
Jingle.

Sasha Star Robertson 2:09
Hey, hey, hey, Sisters, we are here with another special guest. Her name is Sarah Jimenez. She is a wife of seven years to an incredible man, mother of one little boy who’s almost four years old named Roman. She is a Costco employee going on 12 years. Woo-woo! I love Costco! And a podcaster, coach, speaker, and Zumba instructor. Welcome, Sarah. Thank you so much for being here today. Anything you would love to add to that bio or anything else you want to tell us about yourself before we jump in?

Sarah Jimenez 3:03
No, but thank you. I appreciate it. I love, I’m so excited to be on here today and just to have this awesome, awesome conversation. It’s gonna be so good.

Sasha Star Robertson 3:11
Okay, sweet. Well, I know before recording it on your little application here you shared a little bit more about your story, kind of a testimony of how you went from a space that you were living in where you dubbed yourself a successful direct sales hot mess mom to living in this space that you are and being a podcaster, a speaker, and all these other things. So would you tell us a little bit about that story and that journey?

Unknown Speaker 3:42
Yeah, absolutely. So my son like I said he’s almost four years old now. I want to say it was about, I had started a direct sales business and it was very successful and when he was about four months old, so it was pretty quick after I had him I kind of just don’t move into that and honest. Honestly, it started as just a hobby and it turned into this amazing business. I do believe that that was a, you know, an amazing and incredible part of just my life and journey with motherhood and everything.

Unknown Speaker 4:18
But I do remember at about a year and a half, I remember at some point I was like okay, I’m doing amazing in my business. I was back at work part-time at Costco and I was leading a team of women, and all these things were great, but something just felt like it was missing. And I think I don’t remember at what point but there was just a moment that I think I heard myself say something. I claimed like I’m just a hot mess. And I remember how that just didn’t resonate with just, I don’t know, the inner me. It just didn’t resonate with my Holy Spirit. You know, that Holy Spirit feeling of just like hold on. This is not right.

Sarah Jimenez 4:57
And I remember kind of deciding at that point like, well wait a minute. I don’t like claiming this. I don’t like being a hot mess. Why do I have to be a hot mess just because I became a mom like that doesn’t need to be now socially that’s very acceptable. And that’s like an ongoing kind of joke slash. This is the way things are and you kind of have that acceptance so that’s probably where I got it from. And then obviously social influence naturally but I knew that it wasn’t where I wanted to be. I knew that it wasn’t who I was. And it wasn’t just because I you know, gave birth to this incredible human being. I didn’t need to feel like I was in havoc all the time. And that was just my excuse to not get ready get dressed not have a clean house not have you know things in order.

Sarah Jimenez 5:45
And not even talking like OCD crazy here. We’re just talking like in general, you know, everything was just kind of half done. Just chaotic. And I didn’t, I remember just thinking like, this is not me. This is not who I’m called to be. And this is not who I am. So, so I went through basically a series of steps. I would say, you know, in hindsight, I had no idea what I was doing. I was just like, Okay, I need to get out of this but how and then I went through a couple of different steps.

Sarah Jimenez 6:16
I hired a coach, a one-to-one coach, I started working just with her through some mindset stuff, just kind of breaking through some thought patterns and just moreso revealing and recognizing things that I was believing about myself and under it realizing that okay, if this is not who I want to be then I need to change my thoughts. Firstly, you know, and through coaching and through some other things, I started creating little habits. I started putting routines, and it’s kind of brought me to this place of now I actually am no longer running my direct sales business. That was something God called me to step away from recently, actually earlier this year. And that was I was tough, but he called me to do it and I said okay, and it’s opened up so many different doors.

Sarah Jimenez 7:05
So now I like I said in my bio and that amazing description that he introduced me with you know I part-time Zumba instructor which I do for my fun and it keeps me in shape. I am a podcaster I have my own podcast now. And then I’m getting ready to launch a business with another incredible woman, friend of mine and speaker and a coach. There’s just all these different opportunities have opened up since then. And I feel truly like at peace with everything I’m doing and that it’s walking in line with what God has for me also long term and short. So that’s the long slash short version of that story.

Sasha Star Robertson 7:48
I love it. That is so good. I think it shows us a beautiful picture of like how how I think so many of us, like fall into the same trap of and I would almost say trap because it is that that culture and socially accepted just like to even proclaim or label yourself as Oh yeah, I’m just a hot mess mom, like that’s just who I am and then you’re like, Wait, that’s not that’s not my god given identity. Like is there anywhere in scripture that says you are a hot mess mom, like you will become a mom and then everything will be hard. or anything like that, you know? And so I just love that story about that, because it’s not who you are, and you knew it was not who you were called to be.

Sasha Star Robertson 8:34
And I love that God just revealed that to you and, and put this like fire in your heart of getting out of this space and shifting this mindset and that He surrounded you with with people you know, or or even like led you to this coach who helped you work on that mindset to change those thoughts. And to create those habits and routines that is just super cool. And I love that it ultimately led you to laying down your direct sales company and just even how you pointed out how difficult that was because I think that’s a really important point too. A lot of it I think to come out of this hot mess mom space or even become more intentional in how we’re living in finding, you talk a lot about balanced life.

Sasha Star Robertson 9:27
And finding that space, it involves laying things down and even things that are like I don’t really want to I’ve worked hard to build this up and it’s successful and I have this team and it’s fun, but God had so much more for you. He said No, you’re a podcaster and a speaker and a coach and we’re gonna bring so much more cool stuff in this and you’re a Zumba instructor. I just can imagine you. I’ve done zoom but before so I’m like, I want to go do Zumba with Sarah, like next time I come to Florida. I have learned Uh, my current health coach lives in Florida. I have, well, I have another friend She’s actually leaving. But she’s with a network marketing company of sorts. And she’s like big on leading group fitness stuff. And I could just go to Florida and like workout all week in Florida I know that are like all about this but anyways, I digress a little rabbit hole there.

Sasha Star Robertson 10:23
A side note, I want to share, I love that you were like, my son was four months old, and I doing this direct sales company. And then all this other stuff happened. And now here I am, he’s almost four. And I’m a coach and a speaker and a podcaster. And I’m like, wow, that part is like so familiar to me. Because I think my son was, I think he was only like two or three months. Old when I joined into this network marketing company. And that really was because I was like home, changing diapers, and I left my career to like do and I’m like, I have nothing I have like no adult interaction until my husband comes home. And I have no like recognition. No advancement like no personal development nothing that I’m like, working towards after being like a career person for so long. It’s just such a weird transition. But ultimately like being in that network marketing company is it ended up being motherhood and that and that being this catalyst that brought me like into the space now. So I just think it’s really cool that our stories resonate on that topic.

Sasha Star Robertson 11:32
I know one of the things that you had mentioned this, you know, mindset and changing thoughts, but also creating habits and routines. And that’s one of the things that I know, my clients and listeners would love to hear is like, Okay, if you’re feeling like the hot mess mom? How, like, how do you get out of it? And that was a part of your journey. So can you provide us with a couple of tips or some information on? Like, how do we go from that? Like, how do we start creating these habits or routines? How do we, from your perspective, shift these thoughts to get out of that hot mess mom and into a space where we’re clearing the way of what work we might currently be doing that isn’t for us, but being obedient to what God has for us?

Unknown Speaker 12:23
Yeah, absolutely. And this is Oh, my gosh, like, I think back and one, I would say definitely find some type of accountability. So well, okay. First, you need to, this is actually something my coach actually used to use all the time. And I just love it. Because I’m like, wow, she said, you know, you need to decide to take radical responsibility for your life. So, really deciding, and that’s just really just a decision and a mental shift of knowing that you know what, my life looks the way it looks. Now. There are some things that I cannot control, but the things that I can control, does it look the way that I want it to look? Or are there things that I need to work on?

Sarah Jimenez 13:06
And so taking radical responsibilities first, right, realizing that okay, if you are not where you want to be, if you are not, you know, in a place that you feel lined up with the things like, you know, where you shouldn’t be now we all have a right we’re gonna go through ups and downs and go through those trials. But, you know, if you feel like you’re not in a place of peace at this point, then you’re like, I feel like a hot mess like I resonate with that, which, by the way, sidenote, hot mess mom, I looked it up. Now, it’s not actually in like a dictionary, but I believe it’s in Oxford. It says you might find it the Oxford Dictionary. But basically, it refers to a person or thing that is disorganized and just shoveled.

Sarah Jimenez 13:47
That is not what I want to be labeled as in any form or way or recognized as and so when I looked that up, I was like, Whoa, that hurts. Like, wait a minute, I’m declaring, you know, and I know you and I are in agreement on this and probably choose what we say with our words is truly impactful. And then we also, because of what we speak out of our mouth, our minds also believe and absorb. So, you know, even though I was doing great in my business, doing good in different areas of my life, like I said, declaring that over myself was just one big no, no. So you know, having deciding that you want to take radical responsibility, number one,

Sarah Jimenez 14:24
Number two, get some accountability. For me, it was a coach, you know, that might be something that you want to invest in getting a coach and really say, I need to run alongside me in this journey and help me process some of these things. Because there is so much power and naturally as women, like if you compare women to men, you know, we like to talk things out. We need to verbalize things and get it out that we can hear it, process it and then also kind of just talk out like what makes sense and what steps are next because we have so many thoughts swirling through our minds just so fast. And like you said, a lot of moms get to a place where, you know, once they have children, they don’t talk to people, well adults, you know, they’re always they’re somehow confined to just their own thoughts and then the time that they do, or you know, with friends, family, like it’s so limited that you don’t get to just talk about what you’re going through.

Sarah Jimenez 15:21
So I think either hiring a coach or finding someone that can give you really good accountability and talking about some of the things that you want to do, and then working on taking small, very, very small steps. One thing I talk about when I talk about habits and routines is let’s not you know get up one day and be like oh my gosh, I feel prepped in my life. I’m going to meal prep for the next three weeks like that’s just silly. Don’t do it. Especially if you have a little one at home. Okay, like I am super flexible when it comes to my habits and routine.

Sarah Jimenez 15:52
And I say that in the sense of, I don’t just wake up every single day and go like, Okay, I gotta make the bed before I walked to the kitchen. Like when I first started, I always joke with my, my old, my ex-boss. I said that was the that was what got us started. It’s making our bit sound silly. But there are a lot of people like me, who just never made the bed. And it sounds it seems so so small. But once I started that, just creating that like routine, and you know, now it’s become an actual habit. But it wasn’t like I rolled out of bed and I said, Okay, I gotta make the bed first. Like it took time. And sometimes it would be in the middle of the day, that I walked into the room and I said, Oh, I gotta make the bed today.

Sarah Jimenez 16:44
You know, and I, in my podcast, I talked about different tools that you use to help you remember to help kind of prompt you to do these things, especially because if you’re anything like me, and I know there’s a lot of us out there, like your brain just goes off and you’re like, Hold on score, like thinking about something else totally forgot about the bed. It’s now eight o’clock at night, I’m getting ready to climb into bed a couple hours. So why am I going to make it at this point? You know what I mean? So I would say that is the best starting point, you know, is that mindset piece of really shifting and deciding to take responsibility. And then getting some accountability and talking out some of the changes that you want to see in your life. So basically finding, you know, friends or a community of some sort, which I do talk about the podcast as well. And then from there working on those habits and systems and doing different things to help propel you into building that belief about yourself and what you can accomplish.

Sasha Star Robertson 17:42
So, so good. I love this because they are three very, very punchy, very specific, but like things that we can put into place, but also, like there’s so much gold in each and every one of them. I love how you’re like number one, find some accountability, actually, number one is the mindset piece, you have to decide to take radical responsibility. And I love the question that you had asked, does what I can control look like what I want it to look like. And that is just huge. That is such a powerful question. Because I do think when you are living in like the chaos and the overwhelming the hot mess, mom like place, sometimes it can be like I’m just trying to keep my head above the water.

Sasha Star Robertson 18:29
Like, I’m so disorganized and disheveled that that is it’s hard to even like take a breath or go to the bathroom by yourself or whatever else. But I think it really is like a decision like, is this how I want to live? And if it’s not then there It is a way out. I think some people they think they don’t want to live that way but really like, maybe it’s goes back to childhood trauma or different things like that. I don’t know exactly. But like I think some people actually do like it. I think maybe part of it is like, culture and society like sometimes a hot mess mom is like a badge of honor, like the busyness and the overwhelm is like.

Sasha Star Robertson 19:10
I’m, on my I, actually a podcast episode last week that came out was kind of about this I’ve just like almost like our self sacrifice and motherhood can sometimes be this like, Maybe a chip on our shoulder. I didn’t say it like that in the podcast episode, but like, just questioning, is it actually biblical? Or is this damaging? And so I think bringing into that radical, just like personal responsibility is like, is this how I want to live? Yes or no, it makes it so much simpler to actually take those steps to come out, which is almost number one, but really have to decide before you can take that first step, and in finding the accountability, and I love so much that you’ve brought into this. And so many reasons why.

Sasha Star Robertson 20:03
And you said, maybe it’s hiring a coach, but it’s finding someone and I just want to caution the listeners too, because I think you have to be very careful with like, just coming into accountability with friends, or even like your husband or whatever else. And so just like a little personal story here, I can’t remember how many times I’ve asked my husband to like, help me stay accountable with like, not eating ice cream, you know, or, or, like, help me stay accountable with this gym routine, or whatever else, but it’s like, your husband and your friends that are really close to you.

Sasha Star Robertson 20:35
Like they’re always going to value the relationship over like that tough love sometimes of like, you know, hurting your feelings, or, or whatever else by saying no to you, or like, I don’t think that’s the wisest choice or, you know, you said you wanted to do this, but I’m seeing you not doing it like what’s going on. I think sometimes when we’re like, it’s supposed to be close relationship like that, that we’re able to say those things to each other.

Sasha Star Robertson 21:01
But we live in a very like I don’t know, I don’t even know the word for it, like, easily hurt or offended or triggered society these days. I feel like we have to be very careful and cautious in that. And so it’s like it’s, I think it’s always best to find somebody that’s literally you’re asking them to be your mentor to be your accountability partner to be your coach or coming into that relationship with somebody that you have hired to do so because they hold a different role in a different place in your life.

Sasha Star Robertson 21:35
So, I love that you brought up so many reasons as to why that’s really important. So like to help you process to help make sense of things to to help you To see like, what steps are next for the changes that I want to make. And then, and then number three routines, habits and systems. So, so good. I have been in this season lately where I’m like, preparing for baby to come. And I’ve been making like a lot of very small shifts that have been like, super powerful. And like the whole you mentioned, like meal prepping or meal planning, you know, going from nothing to I’m going to cook a month’s worth of freezer meals or whatever. I was like, oh, no, you’re likely going to fail on that. But just like my goal is three meals a week that I’m going to plan like pre-planned for, you know, the beginning of the week, this is what we’re making this week.

Sasha Star Robertson 22:29
And just doing a menu for our home of like, this is what things are going to look like it takes like, not even 20 minutes to like mentally set that up for the week. And it takes out like hours of stress of like, what are we going to eat for dinner tonight? Oh, my goodness, I didn’t take any chicken out of the freezer. And like, all this chaos and stress just from making those teeny tiny little habit shifts or putting those systems in place. So I love, love, love that we’re on the same page with that.

Sasha Star Robertson 22:59
And I love that you mentioned on your podcast, too, you talk about having those like prompts and how important the flexibility in those like, routines and habits and systems are so, so, so, so much goodness, I think you like immensely for being on any, like last minute thoughts of like, what you want the hot mess moms or even somebody who’s like, already been taking steps of coming out of this hot mess mom, like what do you want her to hear?

Sarah Jimenez 23:30
Well, I would say that, you know, in hindsight, looking back, and like I said, it’s not like, you know, I had self-proclaimed that I was a hot mess mom. Now not it’s not necessarily that other people viewed me that way. And you know, maybe you’re sitting in a place where you’re like, Well, you know, on the outside, I look like you know, I have it together and I got things going the way that I want to go but if you have that just little you know, for me it was just I don’t know, I’m just I felt like it was just literally my inner spirit man just saying like, okay, like, this is not this is not on them. You’re not on the path like it’s time to change. It’s time to make some adjustments right.

Sarah Jimenez 24:13
And I know that in that first year of motherhood Things are just crazy. And it’s hard and it’s a lot of adjustment so I almost you know not to say that you couldn’t start implementing things for sure in that first year you know, but for me I remember it was about a year and a half right where I kind of really was like, okay, like we are okay, we survived this fall. We are going to make get, you know, it really just if you’re in that place where you’re like, you’re feeling that inner voice saying like, this is not where you need to be, then I would just say, really consider what beliefs you have about yourself.

Sarah Jimenez 24:50
You know, God has created all of us to step into not just one calling, but He has so many callings on our lives and so many things that He wants that He has gifted us with naturally. And then, you know, people, He places in our lives to help us in the areas that we need, so that we can be a light and we can help others.

Sarah Jimenez 25:10
And I truly believe that sometimes, you know, with the distractions of even motherhood, and I don’t say that in a negative way, but it is easy, you know, when you have so much going on to get distracted from what the callings are in your life. So I think just remembering that, you know, if you have that inner voice, you’re hearing that you’re like, who, you know, make sure that you, one, my biggest thing, honestly, is journaling things out. And I love that you were saying how you write down when you were planning meals, I was like,

Sarah Jimenez 25:41
Oh, yes, that’s such a great first step, writing things out, not on your phone, not on the computer, don’t take them out, don’t feel like put down all of the devices and just grab old good old school. Okay, get one of get a nice clicky pen and write some things out. And journaling, which I actually have been transitioning and talking a lot more about on my show as well have was such a big pivotal point for me. And it was one of the first steps in my habits that I created for myself and I continuously use that as truly transformed just my mental and emotional clarity into a place where now I feel like okay, like I am not scatterbrained 24/7 because I was able to get it out.

Sarah Jimenez 26:27
But point being is, you know, if you feel that, make sure that you are seeking out some type of help, whether that’s you know, a coach, and don’t go to your husband, I totally agree with you on that, by the way. I don’t not I love my husband. He’s amazing. And in fact, he is probably I admire him in so many ways, but he’s not the person I go to. To keep, he will encourage me and uplift me and we’re going to keep it at that. But I seek out coaches I seek out, you know people that are truly communities that are going to just help with that accountability piece. So making sure that you’re stepping out and taking those steps so that you can come out of this hot mess identity or whatever other identity you’ve taken on. And you can live out you know, not only being an amazing mom, and the best mom that you know, to me but also walking out all that God has called you to whether that’s in the workplace if you’re a working mom or maybe it’s at home maybe it’s in your community maybe it’s just within your family you know there’s so many different areas. So you can walk out what God’s called him to do.

Sarah Jimenez 27:29
So I think it’s important to know, to recognize what is it, you know, stick with yourself? And what does that inner spirit saying? Like? Are there beliefs about you that are not godly beliefs? And are they setting you up to, you know, just cruise and stay in that identity? Or are you working towards that growth and the goals and the things that God has for you? So really just exploring that and then deciding, what are you going to do about it now?

Sasha Star Robertson 27:56
Love it. So perfect. So real quick, Sarah, you’ve mentioned the podcast and other things, where can people find you and connect and listen to some of those episodes you’ve talked about and all of that fun stuff.

Sarah Jimenez 28:08
So you can find me on most platforms for my podcast. If you search, that beautiful shift, all spelled out. That last word, just in case it sounds funny, it’s Shi, f t shift, like shifting, shifting gears. So the beautiful shift is the podcasting. And then you can find me on Instagram at balanced life with love all spelled out, balanced life with love. So that’s where you can connect with me. I love to hear from just my audience in general, most people connect me I’m on Facebook, too, but most people on Instagram, so that’s easier.

Sasha Star Robertson 28:39
Love it. I need to go find you on Instagram because I don’t think I’m following you over there. Awesome. Well, thank you so much, Sarah, for all of these tips and for sharing your story with us and and just sharing with the listeners like who might feel like they’re in that space, how to practically get out of it. And even to ask that question like, What is the Holy Spirit prompting me to do, what beliefs am I having that are not in line with God? And if you’re feeling the Holy Spirit saying it’s time jump sister like it is ready to shift to the beautiful. Just like Sarah talks about.

Sarah Jimenez 29:16
That, a beautiful shift that’s gonna happen.

Sasha Star Robertson 29:18
Yes. Well, thank you so much. Thank you listeners for taking the time to jump on here and receive this fabulous information. I hope you’ll have a God-blessed week.

More about your Podcast Host

Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Momlife with Jesus Podcast.

Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Abundant Life Podcast.

Would you benefit from having a coach helping you live Productively Peaceful days digging into Faithful Foundations, Purposeful Priorities, Mindset Mastery, & Simple Selfcare? This question is rhetorical, everyone would! Schedule a consult with Sasha to learn more about the IAM Coaching Program and to see if you’d be a good it. https://calendly.com/intentionalabundanceco/iamconsult

Desiring Community?

You’re invited to join us in the Productively Peaceful Moms Club over on facebook! It’s a safe space where we can show up vulnerably and encourage each other, where ere share the mission of being the best mommas we can be through the grace and strength of Jesus Christ, where we encourage consistency and are able to hold each other accountable. We share scripture and talk about podcast episodes and pray for each other and set goals and so much more! You’re more than welcome here, you’re wanted here! https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance

086: 5 Scripture Verses to Help You Focus on Productivity in the Peace of God

Summary

Productivity and peace are words that you don’t often find strung together.
You’re either feel productive in doing ‘all the things’ OR you feel peace in rest and relaxation.
But what if you could bring both of these together and truly live productively peaceful days?
Days where you’re accomplishing things, but remaining in the Peace of God though it all.

In this episode Sasha shares 5 Scripture verses to help you focus on productivity in the Peace of God. Sasha believes that in order to experience true peace, the peace that is beyond our own understanding or creation, that it must come from the Price of Peace. 

Soak in that peace by listening to these scripture verses about getting things done so that you can accomplish all that God has before you today from a place a peace in your heart and soul. Then join us in the Intentional Momlife with Jesus Community on Facebook to share your favorite verse and how you’re implementing it into your productivity today. https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance

Transcription

0:03
Hello sisters, and welcome back to another episode of the Intentional Momlife With Jesus podcast. I’m your host, Sasha Star Robertson, and I’m super excited to share this episode with you today because we are talking about five scripture verses to help you focus on productivity in the peace of God. This is what productively peaceful days are all about. Okay, so let’s jump in and do this thing!

1:41
Jingle

2:12
Alright, alright. So, five scripture verses to help you focus on productivity in the peace of God. Number one is Proverbs 16:3, commit your work to the Lord and your plans will be established. I love this one because so much of it brings it back to God. Right? What are our works? Our the things that he has assigned and called us to do. Whether that is being a mother, being a wife in this moment, being a good steward of our home, or being a good steward of our health. Maybe He’s giving you a unique walk, a unique calling a unique experience. Maybe He has brought you over these mountains that you are now really truly feeling called to reach back and share a hand and share notes with others. whatever work He is calling you to. When you commit that to the Lord, your plans will be established, sister. There is nothing we can do to stand in the way of God’s will. Right? There’s nothing that we can do to stop what He has. He will just find somebody else if we’re not willing to do it. And if there is a plan of God that is in place, right, if it is His will, He will make a way your plans will be established. So all you need to do is commit your work to the Lord.

3:40
And this one brings another one that I didn’t even have on my list. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you. Pretty sure that comes from Matthew 6:28, somewhere around there. Don’t shoot the messenger if I’m wrong. Sorry, that was a totally Holy Spirit moment. I did not mean to bring that scripture verse up. So I don’t have the reference. But it just reminds me that like if we just seek Him, then it’s all that that’s basically what we’re supposed to do. Right?

4:12
Next one. Number two on the list is Romans 8:28. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him who have been called according to His purposes. And so this just brings up a question to me, sister, do you love him? Yes. I hope there was like a resounding yes across the entire world as that question was asked. So we know that in all things, God works for the good. And this is such an encouraging verse, right? If you’re like in this good season, if you’re in this excitement and if you’re in this like really closeness in relationship with him, right?

5:02
But I think sometimes we can hear this verse if we’re like, in the struggle, if we’re in the waiting, if we’re waiting, almost like for an answer from Him or we keep hearing a no or not right now. That can be a difficult thing to hear because sometimes it doesn’t always feel good and it doesn’t always look good. But this is scripture, this is truth. So we know that we can look to this and we can hold fast to this, even if in our limited perspective and limited human understanding it doesn’t look or feel good, we know that it is for the good of those who love Him.

5:44
And honestly, it’s not really about us. It’s not really about our tight-knit family circle or our tight-knit friend’s circle. We never know the impact that some of our hurt or hurts of those close to us might have like this ripple effect to bring others into a relationship and knowing the Lord. So, remembering Romans 8:28 If we love Him, we have been called according to His purposes, and he is working good in all things. Okay.

6:23
Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men. That one’s a perspective shift, right? I think when you’re a mom and you’re wiping off the kitchen table or doing dishes or folding laundry or cleaning up another mess, it can feel really difficult to feel like you’re working for the Lord and not for men. Right? You’re working for all these like tiny little men and women who seem to create messes and spills and ruckus and everything all over right. But whatever you do, work heartily as for the Lord I think this helps us keep an eternal perspective, that what we’re doing right now is storing up eternal treasures. It is creating relationships that last into eternity. Right, those spills and those messes and that noise and that hurt and that heartache that’s not going to come into eternity. But these relationships and this closeness to the Lord and these eternal treasures that last forever. Those are the things that we can cling to.

7:46
Ephesians 5:15-17 talks about looking carefully at how you walk, not as unwise but as wise making the best use of the time because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of God is. This one is like a huge like it’s two verses, three verses actually 15, 16, and 17. And I think it’s really cool because if we break it down, right, we’re talking about understanding what the will of the Lord is. I think it’s very clear in Scripture. And I think He reveals it to us through closeness and intimacy and prayer with Him. He can speak to our hearts and as I said earlier, he’s a God of confirmation.

8:40
So with that, we need to understand and be discerning between wise and unwise. And that is done through this constant renewing of our mind, through this continual practice of going to Him in Scripture in prayer, to be able to understand His will and to choose wisely versus unwisely, to make sure that we are having the best use of our time and to look carefully how we walk.

9:16
And this is super encouraging to my heart because I think it’s just a reminder of how limited our time is here on Earth. I saw this graphic where somebody put in I think it was like a bead for every day in this like shadow box that their children are left in their home. And when you’re talking about beads, right, they’re not very big. And so even elementary-age kids, when you’re looking at the beads as every single day that you have left to pour into them. It really gives you a perspective of your time and how wise and discerning we have to be in making the best use of that time.

10:09
All right, and the last one we have, number five, is 1 Corinthians 10:31. So whatever you eat, or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. I think it’s very clear throughout Scripture what our greater purpose is here on Earth. As human beings and as children of God it is to glorify God. And this verse so clearly articulates that and it really is whatever you eat or drink even, right, whatever you do, ministering to your kids, serving in the community, cleaning off the table in your house, folding laundry, loving your husband well, serving at a soup kitchen, eating or drinking. What ever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

11:08
So we have here five scripture verses that I hope will help you focus on productivity in the peace of God, focusing on Him first and foremost, focusing on doing it for His glory, focusing on committing our work to Him, focusing on being good stewards and wisely using our time, and focusing on Him knowing that He works good in all things, for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

11:45
I pray that you will meditate on these scriptures this week, that you will let them go from your head to your heart that you will pray over them, maybe even memorize them and that they will bless you in your walk this week.

More about your Podcast Host

Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Momlife with Jesus Podcast.

Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Abundant Life Podcast.

Would you benefit from having a coach helping you live Productively Peaceful days digging into Faithful Foundations, Purposeful Priorities, Mindset Mastery, & Simple Selfcare? This question is rhetorical, everyone would! Schedule a consult with Sasha to learn more about the IAM Coaching Program and to see if you’d be a good it. https://calendly.com/intentionalabundanceco/iamconsult

Desiring Community?

You’re invited to join us in the Productively Peaceful Moms Club over on facebook! It’s a safe space where we can show up vulnerably and encourage each other, where ere share the mission of being the best mommas we can be through the grace and strength of Jesus Christ, where we encourage consistency and are able to hold each other accountable. We share scripture and talk about podcast episodes and pray for each other and set goals and so much more! You’re more than welcome here, you’re wanted here! https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance

085: Productivity Technique to Help You Be More Effective with the Little Time You Have as a Busy Mom

Summary

In this episode Sasha shares a powerful productivity hack that helps even the most easily distracted individuals stay focused for a period of time to get things done! 

Funny enough, this technique comes from a tomato… the old fashioned kitchen timer, called, in Italian, a Pomodoro. The technique was developed by Francesco Cirillo in the late eighties, Sasha loves that this concept can bring more intentionality, focus, and productivity in motherhood. Which, in turn, brings more peace into our daily lives. 

Listen in and learn more about this technique, how you can use it to accomplish different tasks or projects, try it out, and then jump into the Intentional Momlife with Jesus Community and share your takeaways…. or concerns. https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance

Transcription

0:02
Hey, hey, Mamas! Welcome back to another episode of the Intentional Momlife With Jesus Podcast and today I want to share with you a productivity hack that comes from the business side of things in my life and it is called the Pomodoro. So let’s do the jingle and then we are going to dive right into this thing.

0:34
Jingle

0:56
All right. So, if you’ve been around for some amount of time, you may know that my background is actually in business. My degree is in business management and administration. I spent many years having small businesses of my own, working on the administrative side of things in government, large and small, state government and federal government through the military, and working with nonprofit organizations, and small businesses. So I have quite an extensive knowledge between all the different sectors of business that I’ve worked in, and I’ve been in entrepreneurship since I was about five years old, thanks to my dad. I actually found a business card right here on my desk a few weeks ago from Star habitat, where we made kind of aviary creations, little birdhouses, and squirrel feeders, bat houses, and things like that, and it was just super fun. I remember doing that with him. And I think that might be what started this little entrepreneurial itch inside of me.

3:07
Anyways, I digress on that topic, but the Pomodoro is a technique that was created by Francesco Cirillo. If I’m saying his name correctly in the late 80s. And it was named after the Pomodoro which is tomato in Italian, aka the kitchen timer, Funny enough, right? So here is what a Pomodoro looks like. This is what the concept is, you pick your favorite procrastination task. So what is something that you do not love to do? That is the thing that we are going to work on while we’re doing these Pomodoros.

3:51
And then I want you to think of something that you love to do mindlessly, that you have a tendency to do in place of this task, right and And that is going to be your prize at the end of completing this task I think for many of us it’s going to be social media or like binging watching Netflix, right? Or maybe it’s a bath, maybe it’s reading a book, something that you don’t often get to do as a mom, but can be a little bit more of this like mindless task, okay?

4:33
So pick a task that you’re going to work on and pick a task that’s going to be the prize at the end. Set a timer for 20 or 25 minutes and work on that task exclusively, without interruptions, okay, exclusively without interruptions. You’re like, I’m a mom, how is that possible? Depending on the age of your children, there’s a way that we can make this work. This is why I love coming into one on one coaching relationships with women, with moms, because I think so often we’re so in the I don’t even know the same you guys I refer to this all the time, but it’s like is it in the forest too? close to the forest to see the trees are too close to the trees to see the forest.

5:24
I don’t even know, both sound logical to me to an extent. So I do believe that for so many of us, right like there are so many times I can even be talking to my husband or talking to my coach or talking to a friend. And they’re like, oh, have you thought about this? And I’m like, what? That’s a possibility? I remember when, when our first son was just like maybe five months old. We hadn’t slept at all like he had colic. He was up all night, every night like it was absolutely miserable. And a friend said, well have you thought about putting him in his own room? And I was like, what? That’s allowed. That’s not child neglect, I was like, definitely too close to the trees to see the forest if that’s the metaphor here.

6:13
So that is why I love coming into these closer intimate relationships with moms because I am a problem solver. I love throwing out ideas I love the trial and error like let’s find a way to YES. So, so exclusively without interruptions. There’s a way we can do this. Maybe it’s hiring a babysitter. Maybe it’s doing it on a day that your husband’s home from work. Maybe it’s staying up late. Maybe it’s waking up early, but it’s definitely making sure you don’t have your phone going off next to you, making sure all the distractions are put away. Maybe your spouse and your kids are the number-one things, having an open conversation with them, making sure that they’re understanding you are focusing on completing a task right now and you need full focus to Go to that do not interrupt me.

7:12
Okay, the next step is when the timer goes off put a tally note on a piece of paper or something right there at your desk and take a five-minute break. Use the restroom, take a short walk, make yourself a drink, clean something up, breathe, stretch, do yoga, calisthenics, whatever, go outside. Maybe declutter your workspace, pray or meditate, do some chores, water your house plants, listen to a song, grab a snack, whatever it is, like get away from the task that you’re working on for five minutes. When that five minutes is up, set the timer again and go back into that next Pomodoro, and they say usually after you’ve completed four Pomodoros, which would be a two-hour work session, take a longer break of 30 minutes instead of a five-minute break to give your mind more space to break from that but essentially you can continue working on these pomodoros for as long as it takes you to complete the task in this pattern, okay?

8:26
Or you can change it up and work on a different task at that pace, right? So you can work two pomodoros on one task and two Pomodoro on a different task. You can spend two hours working on one task, maybe you’re just using those two Pomodoro is to work on that task. To get it done, you know, maybe you only have an hour and you’re gonna get it knocked out in that amount of time. But kind of some of the rules are is it helps you break down these big complex projects. Okay, this big procrastination task that you’re maybe not loving working on. And if a task takes more than four pomodoros, which would be two hours, you can divide it into these smaller, actionable steps, sticking to the rule of doing the Pomodoro can help you break down these larger projects into a clear process.

9:24
And then another rule kind of for Pomodoro is to make these smaller tasks go together. So any task that is like your procrastination task that might take less than a Pomodoro, may take less than 20-25 minutes, to combine it with other small ones. Some examples of this might be writing checks to pay your bills. If any of you do that, I still write checks periodically. Like maybe you need to go about setting an appointment. Maybe it’s a collection of appointments, maybe you need to schedule your son’s annual eye exam and your dog’s vet checkup and you need to schedule a referral for something that you got from your doctor. And things like that. Schedule, all of those things, all of those scheduling appointments, schedule the scheduling in one Pomodoro, and sit down and get it done.

10:26
And then the third rule for the Pomodoro rows I’m going to share with you guys today is once a Pomodoro is set. Like once you set the timer it must ring. Okay. You can’t grab your phone and stop doing it, you can’t get up and walk away. If a distraction comes, you can’t just be like, Okay, I mean, obviously, life or death situation, you’d walk away. But once it’s set, the idea is to not break that, essentially promise that you’ve done that you’ve made for yourself. Don’t check emails, don’t respond to text messages don’t, you know, check that notification that popped up on your phone. Any ideas, tasks, or requirements that come up during the Pomodoro should be taken care of later. Okay?

11:22
So, the Pomodoro works for a number of reasons. And for one, it eliminates procrastination and helps you get started on whatever this task is that you’ve been procrastinating or you love to procrastinate on. Number two, it helps eliminate distractions, which are total productivity killers. Number three, it helps you become more aware of where your time is going. You’d be surprised at how much you can accomplish in 20 to 25 minutes when you stop and focus on it.

11:54
I essentially did this in one Pomodoro a few weeks ago we were having some friends Come over for dinner. And it just so happened that like, by the way the day went, my husband got home from work a few minutes late, my son and I ended up being out and about a little bit longer than we had anticipated, and then traffic and other things like, got us home late. And we had about 30 minutes before people were showing up for dinner. And there was like, you know, small little messes of toys and clutter and whatever else throughout the house, the grill was still taken apart from a camping trip we had taken like weeks ago. So my husband went outside to set up the grill. And in the 20-25 minutes, it took him to set up the grill, I was able to tornado through the entire house and clean it up, including sweeping the floors, and start prepping all the other sides and things for the dinner.

12:50
And so I just want to encourage you, there is so much that can be done in 20 to 25 minutes when you alot the time to focus on that task. Okay. So that was number three helps you become more aware of where your time is going. And then number four is consistency over perfection. Right? The Pomodoro creates the space for you to take that consistent action.

13:17
And I just want to share with you this one really, really big thing that I’ve mentioned here on the podcast, and it’s one of those don’t shoot the messenger type things. But Pomodoros are really, really fantastic for Bible study or quiet time with God. And all of these kinds of rules and the whole concept of a Pomodoro can be done if you are setting your alarm for two 25 minutes to an hour before your children typically wake up before your family wakes up and going to sit and get quiet with the Lord. Setting that Pomodoro timer for 20 to 25 minutes, opening God’s word, and committing to not do anything else. Don’t even look at your phone, don’t have your watch on, your family is sleeping. So it’s eliminating a lot of those distractions already for you.

14:19
And it’s not like a checklist thing, right? I don’t care what you do in that time, you could read the Word of God directly, you could do a devotion that leads you to His Word, you can pray, you can do a structure of Bible study, you can do a combination of all of them, you can journal and ask Him to come into that space and help you answer some questions that you’ve been having in your life, whatever that looks like. But even having that timer going and respecting that space in that time and giving God all of your focus in that space can be such a rewarding thing in your life.

14:58
But not just in that sense. The Pomodoro can be brought in in so many other ways. And we’ve talked about a few examples here in this podcast episode. But if you’re like, Okay, where do I use this? How do I use this? Maybe as I was talking, there were multiple ideas that came to you already on how you’re going to take this concept and implement it into your life. Please, sister, join us in the Intentional Momlife With Jesus Community over on Facebook and respond to the prompt about this episode. Because I want to know, have you ever heard of the Pomodoro before? Where are you utilizing it in your life if you are already? What thoughts came up for you for places that you could implement this time management and time-saving technique this productivity and intentionality hack in a sense? Where could you put this in your day or maybe just a couple of times a week maybe once a week in what task would you focus on while that timer is going? Can’t wait to see you over there and hear all of your takeaways God bless you Sister.

More about your Podcast Host

Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Momlife with Jesus Podcast.

Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Abundant Life Podcast.

Would you benefit from having a coach helping you live Productively Peaceful days digging into Faithful Foundations, Purposeful Priorities, Mindset Mastery, & Simple Selfcare? This question is rhetorical, everyone would! Schedule a consult with Sasha to learn more about the IAM Coaching Program and to see if you’d be a good it. https://calendly.com/intentionalabundanceco/iamconsult

Desiring Community?

You’re invited to join us in the Productively Peaceful Moms Club over on facebook! It’s a safe space where we can show up vulnerably and encourage each other, where ere share the mission of being the best mommas we can be through the grace and strength of Jesus Christ, where we encourage consistency and are able to hold each other accountable. We share scripture and talk about podcast episodes and pray for each other and set goals and so much more! You’re more than welcome here, you’re wanted here! https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance

084: Using Self Awareness to Live Intentionally With Julie Redmond

Summary

In this episode Sasha shares an intentional living conversation with Julie Redmond, a happy wife and twin mom fueled by fun earrings, dark chocolate, meaningful conversations and Jesus!

Special Guest on the Intentional Momlife with Jesus Podcast, Julie Redmond is a wife, twin mom, and fellow intentional living coach! She shares how to bring together self awareness + intentional living to live a meaningful and productive life.

She is on a mission to make life feel easier and meaningfully productive through the ultimate life hack of self awareness + intentional living. And it’s all built on the foundation of faith.

Julie shares about the importance of self awareness and how big of a role it plays in our ability to live intentionally as busy moms. She shares how understanding ourselves, our giftings, as well as our strengths and weaknesses can help us to find more balance in life. 

Julie says that bringing self awareness and intentional living together can prevent us from ‘rolling with the punches’ and instead live with realistic expectations that help foster momlife days of gratefulness and joy. 

Connect with Julie: 
Podcast: https://tinyurl.com/mommadeplans
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mommadeplans/
Productivity Printables: www.etsy.com/shop/papermadeplans

Transcription

Sasha Star Robertson 0:03
Hello, sisters, and welcome back to another episode here on the Intentional Momlife With Jesus podcast. I have a very special guest with us today. Her name is Julie Redmond, and I’m just super excited because I think you’re gonna find so many similarities in her and I, and she is here talking to us about intentional living. And she brings in a whole different perspective than what you normally hear me talk about in this space, so I’m super excited to have her in the mix. To bring her into this space to help you learn from her. And also check out some of the amazing resources that she has available. Let’s do the jingle and then dive right in.

Sasha Star Robertson 0:58
Jingle

Sasha Star Robertson 2:25
Hello, sisters, and welcome back to another episode of the Intentional Momlife With Jesus Podcast. I’m here with a special guest today, Julie Redmond. She is a happy wife and twin mom fueled by fun earrings, dark chocolate, meaningful conversations, and Jesus. She’s on a mission to make life feel easier and meaningfully productive through the ultimate life hack of self-awareness and intentional living built on a foundation of faith. Sound similar or what? Thank you so much for being here, Julie. Anything you would like to add to that bio?

Julie Redmond 3:02
Oh, thank you for having me on here. It’s so fun that we are like-minded and trying to help everyone and yeah, I mean, I think that really sums it up. It’s just that my goal I always like to say is to be able to get to the end of the day and feel good about how you spend your time. Like it all boils down to all of our frustrations and struggles always boil down to how we’ve spent our time that day. And whether it’s as productive as we want, whether we did the tasks we wanted to do or spent the quality time that we wanted. Yeah, it always boils down to to that. So I’m just here to help everyone feel good at the end of the day. And that doesn’t always mean crazy productivity like we think of checking off a million tasks. It could be a rest day. But if you have intentionally decided like this is going to be a chill day. You can still feel good at the end of the day. So I always like to clarify, it doesn’t always mean checking a million boxes.

Sasha Star Robertson 4:06
Yes and Amen. I love that I actually had, that was my day yesterday, a rest day with family. And so it was just super chill. We went and swam at the pool together and I don’t even remember what else we did all we went and got family photos and it was just like there was nothing really to checkmark off and I ended the day feeling so good. I love that you point that out too. Because I think a lot of times when we, especially talking to moms, can talk about productivity. Like I think people can associate that with like this pressure to do more. And so I love that we’re on the same page with that, like no, there are days where it’s not. Yeah, just rest.

Julie Redmond 4:48
It’s the things you choose not just a list of a million things just for the sake of having a list.

Sasha Star Robertson 4:54
Yeah, right. So we talked about it before hitting record. I love that you’re a twin mom. It’s like I don’t know it’s this weird fantasy of mine. My husband thinks I’m crazy. And those of you who have been around for a while… No, maybe No, I don’t even know actually, I’ve shared it here on the podcast about being matched with twins in our first adoption journey. But I was almost a twin mom. So I’m like, Man, I bet you have so much value to add here. Like just on account of that living that experience that lived wisdom of managing two at the same time, two babies. So I don’t know if that’s part of your story. But I’d love to hear more about your story. And what led you to helping others live intentionally? Like, how did you discover these gifts and skills and all that fun stuff?

Julie Redmond 5:41
Yeah, it’s funny, because I think there’s not, there’s not really like a defining point of like, this happened, and I made this. I think it just sort of organically kind of evolved. And really, with having kids was the most like pivotal point, I ran an event design company before that. And just always working, working, working. And my work-life balance was definitely out of whack. And then having kids and trying to figure out if I could continue this business and realizing very quickly that that was not going to happen and tried to evolve and simplify and always looking for routines, like how do I make this happen and get things done?

Julie Redmond 6:24
And so I think that’s where things sort of started in my journey of how do you do this? That’s when you start looking at routines? Like what are the mom routines, like the waking up early thing, and what to do, and so I feel like I kind of struggled with that for a few years and working on it. And and then I don’t remember how I first heard about it, I don’t know if it was aneogram or whatever, just kind of discovery of just that self-awareness piece of, okay, how am I made and like my spiritual gifts, and all of those things and just learning more about myself and in turn about other people around me. And just having that awareness, even for my spouse, and like, what makes him happy and what he needs from me and because that’s like, that’s that whole juggle of balancing yourself, and that whole me time thing and being a good wife, and a good mom, and like still having friends, like all of that is where things, you live in that chaotic season of feeling like you can’t ever check any of those boxes well.

Julie Redmond 7:31
And so kind of the self awareness journey is what really took me deeper, just like opened my eyes so much to be like, Oh, I understand, like, I’m a very highly motivated person. So it’s a little more natural for me to want to do the productivity pieces, but there are times where I would just be like, bump on a log, like, I don’t even care and just kind of shutting down and I’m like, What is wrong with me. And I realized that’s a natural tendency you go like the opposite way, when I learned some of these things, it was so eye opening and helped me in like, planning my days and realizing when I’m getting super stressed out and all of that. And so just, it was like I now have this like key in my hand. I’m like, Oh, this is amazing.

Julie Redmond 8:18
Once you know more about yourself, and it’s easier to be more intentional and and that’s when I just love having conversations with other people and other moms and just encouraging them to not settle for the chaos and just feeling like a hot mess and disappointed all the time and not getting things done. And to just be like, Okay, well, what is important to you like how, how do you work, like what makes you happy? Let’s do more of these things and not just doing things because we feel like we should be.

Julie Redmond 8:18
I have this, totally going on a tangent here. But I have this thing I call the should test. And if you find yourself saying, I should be getting up earlier, I should be like meal prepping my lunches. I should be making my kids this, I shouldn’t be spending more time, like this is endless should every time you find yourself saying I should, like stop and question like, is this really something I should be doing? Like? Did I think that’s going to be important to me or my family? Or am I feeling this way because this is just from the outside perspective? Like I saw a Pinterest routine board that said this is what I shouldn’t be doing? Or what I’m hearing other people saying so that’s a lot of one piece of it and how we just determine like wait a second, just stop and evaluate like, why are you stressing out, like why are you feeling bad about your schedule or your routine and yeah, so I love that just stopping and reevaluating and then being able to move forward with intention. So it’s just kind of evolved into this. I love talking to people and this whole philosophy of just getting more intentional in that self awareness combination with it. And just kind of evolved.

Sasha Star Robertson 10:13
I love it. I love that you had pointed out like, I mean, I think it is so much about self awareness and like knowing, like who we are, you know, the Scripture says we’re fearfully and wonderfully made and that we’re like knitted together in our mother’s womb, but I think like God’s not done just in the womb, right? It’s like all these experiences throughout our lives that really form like our characteristics and our personality and, and what matters to us. And I feel like in a lot of that too. I hear values like what are our values, but then also like how do we tick as a person like you were saying, what’s important to you? What makes you happy? Understanding you know, your spiritual gifts, how you like relate to others around you and all these things coming together. And like using all of that information to help you operate in the way that’s like truly most efficient for you. And like you’re saying it’s so different than everyone else and so,

Julie Redmond 11:11
yeah, there’s no cookie cutter option, unfortunately.

Sasha Star Robertson 11:15
Exactly. We’re not cookies’ we’re humans. I love that. I I heard somebody say, I don’t even remember who this was in like this free workshop that I did years ago. Somebody said, Stop “shoulding” all over yourself. And I’m like, I really like that because I think we can get so caught up in like, oh, I should do this. And I should do that. And so I love that should test because I’ve never heard it said like that. But, but taking the time to stop and say, is it really like an evaluating that I’m a huge advocate for evaluating like, what’s working? What’s not? Stop and question this should. Because I think it’s so easy for all of these like outward expectations for us to just like, pick them up and be like, okay, whether it’s a Pinterest board, or something your mom said or what the other lady at church is doing or what the other moms are doing. But really, it being about, you know, what matters to us. And what God is truly calling us to in this season that we’re living in. So I love that I love that you talked about like, we don’t have to settle for this chaos and hot mess. I’m like, Yes and amen over here.

Julie Redmond 12:24
Yes, that is my soapbox. Yes.

Sasha Star Robertson 12:26
Yeah. 100% and I think the more that we speak into that, and like even think about ourselves in that way. Like, the more we foster that identity versus like the identity of like, I am a child of God, I am, you know, there’s so many other things that we can replace into that. And then the other thing that you had said, that I really loved is like you’re a highly motivated person. But then you said, sometimes I’m a bump on the log, and I’m like, Okay, we are all like that. And so I hope the listeners are hearing this, like, give yourself grace, because we are all like, I’ve went through a really rough season lately, where I’m just like, I kind of felt like I was beating myself up a little bit because I did feel like a bump on the log.

Sasha Star Robertson 13:11
But then when I look back, and I’m like, No, I’m actually being like, very productive and living according to my values. I think it was, I almost got caught up in this should, like you’re talking about where I was looking at, like what other people in my industry are doing and what other people, you know, what my peers are doing, or whatever else and just trying to force myself to live up to something that really wasn’t like, wasn’t what God was calling me to, especially in this season. And so I think that’s where a lot of my mindset of being a bump on a log was coming from, because really, if you looked at what I was doing, and like, all the things that I was doing, like amongst like being a good mom, like, simultaneously, it was this should and so I had to do that, stop and evaluate kind of a thing. So I love love, love that. Like, I think you shared a little bit about like, what, what self-awareness means to you like, what does living intentionally mean to you? And why do you believe that so important for just us in general to live off?

Julie Redmond 14:21
Yeah, and I think I definitely put self-awareness plus intentional living, I think they have to, in my opinion, they have to go together to be successful. Because otherwise, like, our default is to just roll with the day and what our kids need. And we constantly are picking up things and like doing the same tasks every day and just like checking those boxes that other people have for us or whatever we have, we’re just kind of in like robot mode. And we may not be like fully like fulfilled or like doing new things or being open to the pulling of the Holy Spirit to have a conversation with someone because we were so caught up in being stressed out in the grocery store with our kids. We can’t see that God brought us a little beacon of light in the grocery line to talk to you like it’s just we get in this automatic mode. And so I think that’s why intentional living is so important that you’re actually choosing like okay, what, what are the priorities like what do I want my life to look like? Is this really like Hot Mess mom or like feeling distracted just, whatever not productive title, is that really what I want? And like settling into that is so easy, like things are busy.

Julie Redmond 15:43
It’s so easy just to stay in the routines and just be like, Well, I’m too busy to do any changes. How can I be I don’t have time to be more productive. And you may not be doing the right things or the right order of things in this season of life. And that’s where this stopping and evaluating is so important. Like you have to pause and be like, Okay, this season of life, whether if you have an infant, or I have seven-year-old twins like that’s a very different season of life and what your time looks like and what you can do and so you have to have realistic expectations. And a lot of times, I don’t think we have those.

Julie Redmond 16:20
And I think that’s why I’m a proponent of writing things down too when we’re figuring out like, Okay, what is important in this season of life, like, making sure I have blocks of like quality time with my kids, time with Jesus, like, I need some fun time with friends or personal hobby or activity, like, I’m really feeling like dreams. And this needs to be a priority right now. Like, figuring out what those things are. And then figuring out the schedule of how to plug them in, and things that you may have thought were important.

Julie Redmond 16:52
And when you look in the scheme of things, you’re like, Oh, well, actually, that can be a good thing like that women’s Bible study is amazing and fulfilling. But when you’re looking at priorities, maybe that’s not where, that sounds crazy. You’re like what you’re trying not to go to a Bible study. Not necessarily, but like you do need to look, it might be good things like “good things “that may need to take a step back right now. And that that’s just what you have to do is just to evaluate and see like, not out of guilt, or of the shoulds or of what you think you should be doing according to everyone else for the season. It’s just like what is important to you and your family right now? And that’s how you’re going to feel like more productive and happy and re energized and not just like dreamed from doing all the time, you’re going to be doing things that matter to you.

Julie Redmond 17:45
And it can be simple little things. This doesn’t have to be extravagant over the top things. It’s just being intentional with your time and the season and writing it down allows you to see it, there’s something about seeing it on paper that helps you be like, Oh, okay, this is where I’m spending my time right now. Like, that’s really isn’t that important like that I do say, actually was a lot of time on my phone, like all day, whatever. Like it just helps you writing those things down and when you’re struggling and you get to the end of the day, and you’re like what did I do today and you’re beating yourself up feeling like you’re not productive? When you’ve written it down, You’re like, oh, actually, I did the laundry and the dishes. And I had playtime with my kids at the park and I did this and in a conversation, whenever you can see you may be doing the same thing.

Julie Redmond 18:35
But once you start writing it down, you’re like, oh, okay, like I see I am doing some things. And that’s where you get the freedom to like write down and when you start the day, you’ve written down like okay, it is a priority for me to do the laundry today. and have a quiet time and play with my kids. And like you have a plan for the day you’re not just sort of like spinning your wheels always being like, Okay, I have like 20 minutes right now what should I be doing like you’ve written out like what is important for you to do that day and it frees you up and makes you feel good. feel accomplished.

Sasha Star Robertson 19:13
Yes, yes and Amen. I feel like I say that every time you pause. I love. I love how a huge part of what you said was about being present and like living in that state of awareness and I think you hit the nail right on the head where it’s like when we’re just focused on this busy and like the next thing and the next thing and like living from this hot mess identity, we do miss those almost like God moments at the grocery store or you know, in the coffee line or whatever else, you know, and I think

Julie Redmond 19:43
just listening to your kids laugh and really soaking it in versus just being stressed out.

Sasha Star Robertson 19:47
Yeah, yeah. I love that. And, and I do believe that is that is that selfawareness and just being present, I think that’s really like, the present moment is a gift. Truly like that’s, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that it’s called the present, but it’s just like being present in your life and in your days. Another thing that you said that I’m a huge proponent for is writing things down. I know, statistics, say I think you’re 40% more likely to achieve your goals or whatever you set out to do when you write them down because it takes it from one part of your brain I think it’s processes through the hippocampus or something like that. And it literally puts it in like your longer term storage bank. So it’s no longer just like floating around in your brain, you know, this mental to-do list? Yeah. Yes, it actually puts it in a different area of your brain. And so even when you’re not like consciously thinking about it, you’re more likely to take actions to complete it and so I love that I’m a huge huge huge advocate for writing it down as well.

Sasha Star Robertson 21:00
You talked about a essentially like good things versus God things is what like I always say, and I love that you pointed that was like, am I telling you not to go to this Bible study? Not necessarily, you know, you have saying like, don’t spend time with God but maybe these precepts with an hour of homework every day, five days a week is not the season for that. Right? But that doesn’t mean you avoid your relationship with the Lord but like what?

Julie Redmond 21:28
Yeah, there might be a different avenue right now.

Sasha Star Robertson 21:31
Yeah, yeah. And so I love that I there’s, there’s so much goodness to that. And, and then the other thing that you had said that I really loved, was about there’s actually I think, I don’t know if these go together. But you said you were talking about the evaluation again. And I think it goes back to that living in awareness. Where like, sometimes when I think of taking the time to evaluate, I’m like, Okay, what went well today? Or what went well this week? Or what is going well this month and what’s not going well, you know, what do I need to shift but when you were talking I was almost thinking like it’s kind of like all day every day evaluating like in the moment to live in that self-awareness and so

Julie Redmond 22:15
I have a super like practical thing just to interrupt there for like, in that moment, because it is just like check-ins of like, if you notice like man, I just love this moment like you’re just like really soaking it in and like for me a lot of times that’s when my family is outside and just like going for a walk or just playing outside together just like that’s when I’m just like so filled up to like have a little I have a Trello board but like have a little list in your phone of like, just to highlight like hey when I like feel the most alive and just like joyful with my family or whatever it may be like have a little write it down like those are the things you want to carve out more time for.

Julie Redmond 22:56
And when you notice that you’re like soup for stress, super anxiety like feeling unproductive and all the things just sort of spinning in circles like that checking moment as well to be like okay, what’s going on? Like, have I not written down like what my plans were for the days recently or have I overscheduled and said yes to too many things when really it should have been a no or not right now or whatever. Like that practical check-in of yes, that continued throughout the day of just like a little mental note of like, okay, I need more of this or, okay, this is clearly causing a problem. So what can I do to shift this around?

Sasha Star Robertson 23:35
I love that. I love you had pointed out Trello. I love Trello I also use workflowy a lot. I don’t know if you’ve heard it’s like, never ending bullet points. It’s really cool. I’m kind of obsessed. That’s my favorite app right now because I have it on Both of my computers and my iPad and my phone like it all syncs together you can go to on the you know just the I don’t know Safari on the desktop or whaever so I can access it anywhere then it’s just kind of like that perpetual brain dump space for me. So yeah I love that I’ve never thought of that before to just like, in the moment, if you’re feeling anxious, write down why. And in the moment, if you’re feeling grateful and like, super filled with joy, write down why. And so then you can consistently go back to those things that are bringing you joy, and have a tendency to like avoid, or try and work around the things that are creating that anxiety and overcome them. So

Julie Redmond 24:35
find solutions for those and maybe be like, Okay, I need to hit the pause button, take a break and go do one of those, like joyfilled moments.

Sasha Star Robertson 24:43
Yes, yes. Super cool. I know I was going to ask you about a few practical tips. But I love you’ve just been like littering them all throughout this conversation. And so, ladies, if you don’t have a notebook handy, go back and re-listen to this and write down some of those powerful questions and powerful strategies that you can put into place. One of the other things that you said and well, I just wrote down a note here, but like Brian Fretwell is a guy that I found on Tik Tok. And I just love like most of his content, but he asked this question of what went well, today because of you. And I think that’s just such an incredibly powerful question to ask.

Sasha Star Robertson 25:29
And I don’t know why I wrote down something you were talking about of like, being in awareness and that gratefulness maybe and like, what brings you joy, and oh, now I remember kind of the end of the day when you feel like you just didn’t really get anything done. You know, sitting down and even asking yourself that before you go to bed at night I think can be so helpful because you’re like, I didn’t get anything done what went well today because of me, and it’s like, my son was like fed paying attention to like we play together. You know, I met his needs I comforted him when he was sad and In whatever else, and I think even just bringing yourself into that awareness of like, Okay, what did I actually do really well today

Julie Redmond 26:10
can be hard to ask that question. It feels weird sometimes to be like, Oh, what did I do? Well, but it’s such a I love that perspective of it’s that impact. It’s all those little things even when you feel unproductive. And all those things like, you still are. And like, if you feel like all you did was pick up toys all day? Well, we can have another conversation about that to help you with that problem. It’s still like, Okay, if you didn’t do that your house would be more chaotic, with like toys everywhere in a mess, and you wouldn’t be able to have quality time. And so it’s like, no matter what it is, yeah, no matter how small or big just to have that perspective of like, your impact. And that’s challenging in a great way to think about to spur you on to, I love the verse spur you on towards love and good deeds. And that just reminded me of that perspective. Yeah.

Sasha Star Robertson 27:06
Awesome. I love it. Well, I feel like we could go on talking and talking, talking for like, ever. Yeah. Julie, if people want to connect with you and hear more from you, where can they find you?

Sasha Star Robertson 27:20
Yeah, I love to always insert lots of practical things for your day. And so I have a podcast Mom-made Plans, and where I talk more about this. So Sasha and I are in that the same lane of just helping Yeah, feel more productive. And I have some productivity printables over on Etsy. And that’s, that’s in my show notes as well, just to help all those practical tools to get us living more intentionally. So yeah.

Sasha Star Robertson 27:50
Awesome. Well, I will certainly be dropping those links in the show notes. So you guys can have that quick click to go over there. Subscribe to her podcast, follow her on Instagram, and even find those productivity printables which I should probably go check out because I’m a huge fan of productivity and printables Well, thank you so much, Julie. I appreciate your time. I love all the tips that you’ve given us today. And man, I feel like this just went by way too fast. So don’t hesitate if I reach out to you to be a guest here again, the Intentional Momlife With Jesus podcast. Hope y’all have a blessed day. Thank you

More about your Podcast Host

Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Momlife with Jesus Podcast.

Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Abundant Life Podcast.

Would you benefit from having a coach helping you live Productively Peaceful days digging into Faithful Foundations, Purposeful Priorities, Mindset Mastery, & Simple Selfcare? This question is rhetorical, everyone would! Schedule a consult with Sasha to learn more about the IAM Coaching Program and to see if you’d be a good it. https://calendly.com/intentionalabundanceco/iamconsult

Desiring Community?

You’re invited to join us in the Productively Peaceful Moms Club over on facebook! It’s a safe space where we can show up vulnerably and encourage each other, where ere share the mission of being the best mommas we can be through the grace and strength of Jesus Christ, where we encourage consistency and are able to hold each other accountable. We share scripture and talk about podcast episodes and pray for each other and set goals and so much more! You’re more than welcome here, you’re wanted here! https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance

083: Is Your Self Sacrifice in Motherhood Damaging or Biblical

Summary

Christian Moms are meant to give their life for their children, right?!
To make sacrifices for our family daily.
To serve and serve and serve…

Have you ever wondered if your self-sacrifice in motherhood is Biblical or damaging? 

Maybe, maybe not…

But it’s important to consider whether your actions are truly leading your children in the way they should go?

Whether you’re living out an example of Biblical truths.

Have you explored the fine line of whether you’re setting yourself and family up for success? 

Or if you’re making decisions in the moment or focused on people pleasing or based on character development and raising adults? 

Sasha believes when we keep stepping in to Christ’s place as savior and his role in our children’s lives, it’s not producing the fruits that are most desirable.

Listen in to check the fine line on your self-sacrifice in motherhood, ask yourself some thought provoking questions, and then come to the Intentional Momlife with Jesus Community on Facebook to chat about it! https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance

Transcription

0:00
Welcome to the Intentional Momife with Jesus Podcast. Today I am talking about a pretty difficult topic, something that might be pretty heavy for you to listen in on and to process. Don’t worry, there are not any trigger warnings or anything like that. But I just wanted to give you that kind of preface before going in because today we are talking about a savior complex or martyrdom, Messiah Complex in motherhood. Okay? And I think this podcast is really going to have the power to shift the way that you’re thinking about yourself, the way that you’re thinking about God, the way you’re thinking about your children, and even the way that you’re showing up in motherhood.

0:50
Jingle

1:20
I’m just going to start off with a bold statement, that self-sacrifice and martyrdom do not make you a better mom. Okay? I think this idea of a savior complex that the reason that I think of it is because it’s a big buzzword or a buzz topic in the adoption community. I think a lot of times, adoptive parents can almost, whether consciously or subconsciously, pick up this idea or belief of a savior complex, right? This child was in an orphanage or, you know, in the foster system, or whatever else. And I adopted this child, I’m now parenting this child, loving the child nurturing the child, giving it these life experiences, whatever else, and whether intentional or not, I think a savior complex is something that can be easily picked up right? I think a lot of the things others talk about like others’ words can back this up right like oh that child’s so lucky to have you, like thank God for you doing this, and whatever else. Okay. And this was like something that I was just like, oh my goodness, is this a real thing? Is this real life?

3:28
You know, when I first heard about it, I know I believe as an adoptive mom that I am the lucky one to have my child, right? My child was separated from their biological parents at birth. That is not a lucky thing. That is not a thing to be blessed by in most situations and sure my child might be having experiences in life that he maybe would not have had he been had he not been adopted. Right. But I don’t know that for sure. Right. I’m not God. I don’t get to know all the potential outcomes and different ways life could have played out. And I will say that I think mixing our beliefs and Scripture and different things like that with the adoption world can get really, really mucky. So I’m not getting into that topic here today. But I will say that this idea of Savior-ism or the savior complex in the adoption world in that has really brought it into perspective for me, but I don’t think it’s limited to just that area.

4:44
I see this a lot in just motherhood across the board. And so that is where this had kind of come up from right? And this is a podcast that I actually recorded, like eight months ago, but I didn’t put it out because it was really clunky. And I just really felt like the Lord. This was a message that the Lord has like given me to talk about, but what I had recorded then wasn’t right. Like it just wasn’t vibing and so He’s bringing it up multiple times this past week, and given me more information brought scripture to light about it and so I just wanted to come on here and share all of this with you guys and ask you some really powerful questions that we’re going to get to at the end. Okay?

5:33
So, I think, for one I do want to say, holding this belief whether it is conscious or subconscious right, of a savior complex or Messiah Complex in motherhood, is truly damaging. And so I just want to bring this into awareness and encourage you guys to check some of the stuff that we’re going to talk about today on this podcast episode. I know, and if you’re listening to this, I know you probably know as well that we have one savior. One and that is Jesus Christ. Can I get an amen? I know that you can agree with me on that point, right? But oftentimes in motherhood, we often step into His place in His role. And when we do that, it is not producing the fruits that are most desirable in our lives, nor our children’s lives. In fact, we might even be stepping in and taking the place of savior in motherhood and other relationships and preventing the Holy Spirit from working in the lives of others.

6:34
And I know that some of you are probably already mentally arguing with me and might be thinking But Sasha, mothers should sacrifice themselves for their kids. And I’m not going to say that you’re wrong. But what I want to do is take a deeper look at this. What does scripture say about motherhood versus what culture and society can sometimes say about motherhood and draw this kind of finer line from what I have been able to glean throughout all of it? So first, let’s start off by defining a savior complex, what is a savior complex in the first place? It’s something that occurs when individuals believe that their job or purpose is to help those around them. Okay, yeah, we can checkmark that that’s motherhood. Right. I think we can all agree on that.

7:21
A savior complex is also meaning that we are expected, even if it’s our own expectations, to sacrifice our own interests and well-being in the effort to aid another. Okay. Yeah, there’s a little bit of a gray area there. And motherhood as well, like, especially a new mom. You’re not going to get eight hours of sleep. You’re lucky to probably get five broken up, right? You’re gonna be woken up multiple times throughout the night, you’re going to be sacrificing your body to your children. And so there are a lot of times a lot of seasons in motherhood, where we are going to be sacrificing our own interests whether you know, majorly or minorly for the well-being of our children. But it’s not a constant and perpetual thing for all of motherhood.

8:11
I actually had one of my first guests on the show back in January 2022, Ellie Sanchez, was a counselor and she talked about when we bring home these little infants, right they’re helpless like they cannot do anything without us, but then it’s so hard for us to get out of that mindset that they can’t do anything without us. And we have a tendency to not be able to let go and allow them to form into their own human beings, right? Going back into the savior complex condition. The key part I think about this is when it’s making us feel good about ourselves, only when we are helping someone else. And we’re not feeling good about ourselves when we’re helping ourselves or taking care of our own well-being. And I think this part of the definition of a savior complex is definitely something to look into and break apart. Because, yeah, a huge part of motherhood is like laying down our lives in the service to aid one another.

9:27
But I think biblical womanhood is to be helpers to our husband as stewards of our home and to take care of that to raise and nurture and grow our children to love and serve the Lord. One of my favorite verses, passages, that I come back to time and time again that I dubbed the Motherhood Commission or the Parenting Commission is from Deuteronomy 6:5-9. You shall love the Lord your God with all of your heart with all of your soul and with all of your strength. These words which I command you today shall be on your heart, you shall teach them diligently to your children. You should talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk, by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise up, and the list continues, right? In Deuteronomy all of these times we should be loving the Lord our God with all of our heart, with all of our soul, with all of our strength. We should be teaching our children this diligently and talking about the commandments of God all the time.

10:18
But here is where the savior complex, stepping in or self-sacrificing or martyrdom is when women are actually being a poor example to their children and their family. When they’re teaching their daughters that they’re nothing other than what they’re able to serve and give in the aid or help of somebody else, or teaching our sons that women are meant to be servants to others in an unbiblical way and so I think it’s a really fine line between misusing your gifts. And like wearing yourself out in serving others, versus actually teaching and equipping others to be able to serve themselves or to go to God to serve them.

11:05
And so I want to read this passage from Exodus 18:13-25, that God gave me this last night, okay? And this is when Moses went back to see his father-in-law. Right and this is kind of last year with me, I’ll give you just a minute, pause, go grab your scripture, read it for yourselves right along with me. I’m reading from ESV verse 13 starts out, the next day Moses sat to judge the people and the people stood around Moses from morning until evening. And when Moses’ father-in-law saw all that he was doing for the people, he said, What is it that you are doing for the people? Why do you sit alone and all around you from morning till evening? And Moses said his father-in-law because the people come to me to inquire of God when they have a dispute? They come to me and they decide between one person and another, and I make them know the statutes of God and His laws. Moses’ father-in-law said to him, what you are doing is not good. You and the people with you will certainly wear yourselves out for the thing is too heavy for you, you are not able to do it alone.

12:24
Now obey my voice, I will give you advice, and God will be with you. You shall represent the people before God in their cases to God, and you shall warn them about the statutes and the laws and make them know in the way in which they must walk and what they must do. Moreover, Look for able men from all people, men who fear God, who are trustworthy, and hate a bribe. And place such men over the people as chiefs of thousands, of hundreds, of fifties, and of tens, and let them judge the people at all times. Every great matter they shall bring to you but any small matter they shall the decide themselves, so it will be easier for you, and they will bear the burden with you. If you do this, God will direct you and you will be able to endure and all people will also go in their place in peace. So Moses listened to the voice of his father-in-law and did all that he had said. Moses chose able men out of all Israel and made them heads over the people. Chiefs of 1000s, of 100s, of 50s, and of 10s.

13:38
And, Oh my goodness, there is just so much goodness in here. Okay, I think the really fine line in pointing this out is when Moses’ father was like you are carrying this whole burden to kind of be this like, intermediary, if that’s the right word for it, for God to the people, right, because that’s what God called Moses to do. God called you to be a mother to your children. Right? But at some point, you have to do that D from last week’s episode, the four Ds, right? And delegate, you have to be willing to follow the command to raise up your child in the way they should go, right? I often see mothers doing the opposite, creating this people-pleasing mentality and people-pleasing belief in society that we get stuck in these days.

13:48
It happens to young women, you know in high school age, even older women with really poor boundaries that are not leading lives that are filled with joy and love and peace and kindness and goodness and all the fruits of the Spirit because they’re so busy serving and pouring out and stepping in this intermediary role with this like savior complex or this people-pleasing complex, right? And it’s like, this idea that like, If we’re the mom that’s never gotten a babysitter in six years, We’re better than the mom who gets a babysitter all the time. Or if we’re the mom that can’t seem to find time to shower because we’re taking care of and tending to our kids, we’re better than the one who gets ready every day. Or maybe the mom who gets ready every day isn’t as good as the mom who pours herself out for her children all the time. Right? Are you guys following what I’m saying here?

15:35
Just this perspective that we can so easily attach to motherhood about our goodness is in relation to the ability in which we are sacrificing for others. And I know that motherhood is a job that’s never done, right? We’re always on duty. And it’s our job to make sure that we are showing up for our kids, that we are doing our best by leading them by example. But it’s also very, very important to establish boundaries and hold firm to those boundaries. Not just for ourselvles but for our children and for others as well.

16:20
I see a lot of moms who will, for example, ask their children to clean up a mess 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 times and if their child doesn’t, the mom will just go do it. Or moms who literally pour out every last bit of what they have stepping in and filling roles for their children that they were never actually meant to step in and fill. Or moms who of appropriately aged children and well-equipped children wear themselves out preparing multiple meals a day in a place where her children are fully capable of doing it themselves. And so just circling back to this Proverbs 22:6, The Bible tells us to train up a child in the way he should go. When he is old, he will not depart from it. And I believe that a lot of times we as moms can not obey this very commandment of God because we’re laying ourselves down and allowing ourselves to be a doormat in place of training them up in the way they should go.

17:19
A lot of times we’re choosing not to train them because it might be a little bit more difficult in the moment and just to encourage you that, in the moment. Those decisions that we make in the moment are truly not best in the long term, like nine times out of 10. Right?

17:52
And I get it like maybe we’re frustrated. Maybe we’ve been pouring out so much that we’d rather just do it than teach them to do it on their own. If that’s the exception to your state of living, that’s one thing, but I think it’s really important to ask ourselves in these situations, if the actions we’re choosing are truly what is training our child up and what is best for them and showing them what it is like to grow up, to have accountability, personal responsibility, and to love and serve the Lord, and making sure that we are not stepping in as Savior in those roles or those circumstances that we are not actually meant to.

18:36
And there’s a saying that you can’t pour from an empty cup, right? You’ve heard it before. And there’s a post that was floating around social media for some time talking about Christian moms pouring from an empty cup and almost flips the script on the saying and while I do fully agree that we are to be filled with Christ, right, we are to be seeking Him and His strength. That we are made perfect in our weakness because that is when His strengths come in.

19:06
But at the same time, if you are not making the time to seek Him daily if you’re not prioritizing that in your life, because you’re too busy “Martha-ing” for everyone else and if you’re not making time to get quiet in His Word and praying unceasingly but seeking Him daily, seeking His presence daily in the quiet and stillness, living from the fruit of the spirit in all circumstances and being an example to your kids of that then you’re truly not living from His strength. Right?

19:14
And if you’re not prioritizing that in your life, then you’re doing it backward, right? I do believe 2 Corinthians 12:9, that His Grace is sufficient and His strength is made perfect in our weakness, and do believe Philippians 4:13, that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And we can say these thigns over and over and over again. We can speak them out as affirmations. We can shout them out loud and sing worship songs that have them in it. But if we’re not truly seeking His presence, and living from that space, then we’re not really serving our family in a biblical way. And we’re not truly training up our children in the way they should go. We’re, instead, laying ourselves down as this self-sacrifice and a martyr for all the times we’ve laid ourselves down and for all the fires that we’ve put out through the day and truly wearing this identity that is a badge of honor for our sheer exhaustion on account of what we didn’t do for ourselves.

20:54
And I’ve heard people say that there’s a problem with “me time”. Or that Christian moms shouldn’t focus on or prioritize self-care because it’s selfish and it’s their job to serve their children or they shouldn’t work out of the home. Or they shouldn’t be pursuing things other than parenting their children at a small age. And I’m not going to get into the whole Biblical self-care. There’s a whole episode, free training, and lead magnet, and all this stuff that you can get on my website about that right? I do believe it’s incredibly important for moms to prioritize that soul care aspect of self-care. We should be making sure that our vertical relationship with the Lord is in good standing, that we are seeking His presence and being filled up by Him daily and regularly so that we are able to pour out His love and His fruits and His peace into others, right?

21:57
But if we’re living in this space of chaos and overwhelm constantly, then it’s a good indicator that a lot of expectations that we’ve put on ourselves of what we need to or should be doing as mothers. Or how we should be grateful and we should be enjoying the struggle. We should be enough. Then beating ourselves up that we’re not doing enough because we didn’t sacrifice enough. All of this stuff is very poor mindset is what it is. And I think it’s really, really important to remember as moms that God loves our children more than we do. We are so limited in our thinking, right? His ways are higher than ours. His thoughts are higher than ours.

22:49
And all throughout Scripture, there is a line, there is a ribbon, a thread that shows this unimaginable love that God has for us and He loves our children with that same love. And He wants us to instruct them and train them up in the way that they should go just like He has done for us. Right? He’s going to provide the people that are going to speak to their hearts. He’s going to put in their path the things that are going to cause them to look, to inquire, into Him to help them make their own decisions. They have their own free will. And whether they’re going to follow the way or not.

23:30
But it’s not something that we as moms need to step in, and fall on the sword for them, or force their free will into right? It can be a very dangerous and slippery slope when we are trying to step in between those scenarios and situations that truly the Lord has designed to work and build character in them. And so to wrap all of this up in a way that can sum up a lot of this is this possessive parenting or helicopter parenting, this self-sacrificial parenting, martyrdom, savior complex, whatever you want to call it. All of these things are and have the capacity to produce fruits in our children that will cause them to be unable to exercise their own self-control. We can so easily undermine their own problem-solving abilities and their ability to make decisions. We can stand in the way of them growing into their own personhood in their own identity in Christ.

24:45
My husband and I were actually walking through The Art of Parenting Bible study curriculum through Family Life and one of the speakers in there, he said the biggest way to make someone dysfunctional, is to be overly functional in their space to prevent them from carrying their own weight and lacking in discipline, instead, overserving in that area. So, I just want to encourage you in this now that we’vve discussed, now that this ois brought to light, is there somewhere that yo’re seeing yourself showing up from a place of self-sacrifice, instead of allowing the Lord to be the sacrifice for all? Is there a way that you’re maybe stepping in and preventing the Holy Spirit from working in the lives of your children. It’s a very fine line. And I really do want to encourage you to sit in this space and ask yourselves where am I possibly taking on the role of savior for my children? Where am I I stratifying myself against other moms or comparing myself to other moms, in terms of our ability or willingness to sacrifice ourselves for our children?

26:11
And sisters, I know that a harmonious life is possible that we can live a life in pursuit and in honor of your family and of God simultaneously. And sometimes, it comes down to equipping our children to do the things that they need to do for themselves. Without us waiting on their every hand and foot and their every need, okay? There’s time and place, and there are seasons right, sometimes we can put ourselves in the position of being too much for our children or doing too much for our children, and so I want to encourage you to lay down that requirement or expectation of self-sacrifice, and instead show up from a space of where you can serve with the greatest fruit produced, where you can train them up and equip them into having good boundaries and being good stewards of their own gifts and resources. And where you can equip them to problem solve and overcome struggles on their own.

27:19
Right, just like this passage in Exodus, where Moses’ father-in-law, said, This is too big a burden for you to carry on your own, you need to train them up and equip them to be able to settle these disputes and, and come to conclusions on these problems all on their own. You teach them God’s laws, right. And I think this is where this passage in Deuteronomy 6 has really given this fuller picture, right. And in this idea of training and equipping our children in the way that they should go, it’s not our place to constantly do it all, but our place to equip them to be able to do their own.

28:05
And again, it’s definitely a fine line. And so I would love, love, love some conversation with you all about this. So if you’re listening and you’re not already in the Intentional Momlife With Jesus community, please jump in. Every week we post a prompt or a reminder or something like that about the podcast episode. And I want to encourage discussion around them.

28:29
What are your takeaways from the episode? What are your thoughts on what has been said? Do you completely disagree? Do you completely agree? Are you in partial agreement? What questions do you have? What concerns come up for you? What convictions might you be feeling? Is there something that I said that you agree like this is a very fine line, or somewhere where you’re seeing yourself in this playing out? What is the Lord showing you in all of this? I’m asking 100,000 questions here. And I encourage you take some time, sit with a notepad, pray, journal it out, or jump into the Intentional Momlife With Jesus community, and chat with us over there about it. All right, thanks so much for taking the time to listen. God bless you, sister, and have an amazing week.

More about your Podcast Host

Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Momlife with Jesus Podcast.

Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Abundant Life Podcast.

Would you benefit from having a coach helping you live Productively Peaceful days digging into Faithful Foundations, Purposeful Priorities, Mindset Mastery, & Simple Selfcare? This question is rhetorical, everyone would! Schedule a consult with Sasha to learn more about the IAM Coaching Program and to see if you’d be a good it. https://calendly.com/intentionalabundanceco/iamconsult

Desiring Community?

You’re invited to join us in the Productively Peaceful Moms Club over on facebook! It’s a safe space where we can show up vulnerably and encourage each other, where ere share the mission of being the best mommas we can be through the grace and strength of Jesus Christ, where we encourage consistency and are able to hold each other accountable. We share scripture and talk about podcast episodes and pray for each other and set goals and so much more! You’re more than welcome here, you’re wanted here! https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance

82 – Struggling to Prioritize Health in a Practical Way? Learn How To Fuel Your Body from a Faith Based Perspective and Take Intentional Actions Towards your Health with Lauren Joyce

Summary

Do you struggling to prioritize health in a practical way?
Are you confused by diet culture
Do you know how to take intentional and purposeful choice for your health from a faith based perspective?

In this episode Sasha chats with Lauren Joyce, a wife, mom of two wonderful young boys, an exercise enthusiast, Healthy Living Coach and host of the Healthy and Empowered Living Podcast… BUT most importantly, a Jesus-loving encourager.

Listen in as Lauren shares a part of her testimony and how prioritizing your health can deepen your relationship with God. Learn how to fuel your body from a faith based perspective and take intentional actions towards being a good steward of your Holy Spirit temple. 

Want more Lauren?
Facebook Community: Joyful Health for Christian Moms: bit.ly/joyfulhealthforchristianmoms
Website: lauren-joyce.com
Podcast: Healthy and Empowered Living – anchor.fm/healthyandempoweredliving
Masterclass: How to Get Healthy & Fit For Life without Obsessing over Diet or Exercise Masterclass Sign Up: lauren-joyce.com/freemasterclass

Transcription

Coming Soon

More about your Podcast Host

Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Abundant Life Podcast.

Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Abundant Life Podcast.

Would you benefit from having an ally help you sort through some of these very beliefs and thoughts Sue references in this episode? Your podcast host, Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living and Biblical Mindset Coach that helps women just like you to master their mindset and take thoughts captive and obedient to scripture. Schedule a consult with Sasha to learn more about the IAM Coaching Program and to see if you’d be a good it. https://calendly.com/intentionalabundanceco/iamconsult

Desiring Community?

You’re invited to join us in the Productively Peaceful Moms Club over on facebook! It’s a safe space where we can show up vulnerably and encourage each other, where ere share the mission of being the best mommas we can be through the grace and strength of Jesus Christ, where we encourage consistency and are able to hold each other accountable. We share scripture and talk about podcast episodes and pray for each other and set goals and so much more! You’re more than welcome here, you’re wanted here! https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance

081: One Simple Process to Tackle Your Todo List Today

Summary

Do you struggle with your massive todo list day after day?

Do you wish there was a simpler way of looking at all the todo’s that would help you to tackle it?

Do you desire more items to be checked off, but don’t know where to even start?

In this episode Sasha shares one simple tool that you can use to tackle your todo list… I would say once and for all… but you’re a mom and you KNOW that isn’t going to happen. 

But you CAN use this tool to categories and check off those todo’s… even eliminate some! 

Jump into todays episode to learn about this simple process, hear some exciting updates on the podcast, and more! 

__________

Join us in the 10 Powerful Hacks training taking place in the community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance

Want to try the Workflowy app for your Brain Dump & Organizing Space?! Here is a link: https://workflowy.com/invite/837d4af3.lnx

Transcription

0:00
Hey, hey, hey, mamas, welcome back to another episode of the Intentional Momlife With Jesus Podcast. I’m super excited to bring you this episode today and we are talking about one simple tool that will take you five minutes that can help you tackle your to-do list today.

0:38
Jingle

2:07
Alright, alright. You know me and before we jump into the episode, I have to share some exciting stuff going on. First, you might have heard this is a new jingle, a new intro. And you might have even noticed a new name when I introduced the podcast. I asked those of you who have jumped into the community, what words resonate with you. What name should we have for this podcast so that it can reach more people instead of this kind of ambiguous intentional abundant life who wasn’t really speaking to anyone specifically, versus mom life is for y’all? You love the intentionality of it.

2:48
Momlife with Jesus is something the Lord put on my heart as I was going through a course. And so I love that you all chose this name. We’ll see how it works. You know, we can always pivot. We can always change things later, but we’re going through this rebranding process, I’ve switched to a different podcast hosting platform, learning new ways to record my podcast, even got myself a new mic. So I am super, super excited about all of these changes going on. With that being said we are going to be re-launching this podcast now that we are rebranding and so I am looking for some of you to be on my launch team.

2:29
When I first started this podcast, I wasn’t planning on doing it until three months later. And just really felt like God was saying, just click publish, just go live, just put it out there to the world. And so I did. And He has blessed it abundantly ranking in multiple countries, that I would have never had the chance to share the gospel or encouragement with Mama’s there otherwise, we’re over 5000 I think 300 downloads so far. So I’m super, super excited about this. And God has definitely been showing up in this space and in this place. And so I want to relaunch this podcast the right way, now that I have found a podcasting coach, I’ve been learning so much more about the industry, and I want to do it right. So the changing of the name, the rebranding, all this other stuff that’s going on, and you guys can be a part of that.

4:24
The team that is going to help me launch is not going to require a lot of responsibility or anything like that. What I’m asking is for some people to come around me and simply share the podcast link, an episode, the graphic, or whatever else over the course of a 48-hour period, for any of you who have yet to review the podcast to also do that on Apple podcasts within a 48-hour window as well when we do this relaunch. And what that’s going to do is it’s going to help it rank and it’s going to tickle the fancy of those Apple podcast algorithms and allow this podcast to be seen and heard by more mamas who are needing this information.

5:09
So if you want to be on the team please, please, please let me know if you’re not already in the Intentional Momlife With Jesus Community on Facebook please join us over there. And with that being said, we are hosting a super, super cool, and intentional masterclass this week in the community. It is called the 10 Powerful Hacks for Living Intentionally as a Purposeful Mom Masterclass. Wow. If that’s not a mouthful, I don’t know what is. But there wasn’t a better way to describe the sheer power that is going to come from this.

5:47
So I actually gave this speech, very, very similar anyway, to a local community here a few weeks ago, and the feedback was just amazing. There are so many good things in here. I’m actually going to give you guys a taste of one of them. Actually, the details for one of them, here in this podcast episode today, but do Just a heads up this, this masterclass is totally free. It’s 90 Minutes or Less. I’m trying to get it in less time to deliver you that message where you’re gonna learn these intentional living practices, ones that actually work, and you’re gonna receive worksheets to do them, like to apply them that day. And then you’re also going to have the space held for you to be able to apply them.

6:35
So if you’re in the community already, you’re gonna see the link in there, just jump in, do it. There’s so, so, so much goodness. And if you’re not already in the community, visit the link in the show notes and get inside because it’s pretty awesome. In fact, drumroll, please. We just hit 300 members today, which is super, super exciting. I love this space. I love this community God has been bringing together some pretty incredible women.

7:03
So let’s jump into the real details of this podcast episode today. We are talking about a way that you are going to be able to tackle your to-do list today, or this week, whatever it is that you sit down and you look at your to-do list, these are all the things that I have to do, this one simple tool is going to help you be able to do that. And it is called the Four Ds. And so I want to talk to you a little bit about the four D’s and I’m gonna talk to you about how you can do it daily, okay? Then we’re gonna jump off here and be done with this.

7:35
So, D number one is Do. “Do” is for your most important and urgent tasks. These are things that are pressing, and they need your attention, whether it’s today or this week, or in this season of life. So D number one is Do. D number two is Delay. These are important tasks, but they’re not necessarily urgent. They’re things that if you don’t do them now, the world will not end. From a daily perspective, these are things that if you wait until later this week, it’s going to be okay. Or even in a weekly perspective, if this is something you can put off until next week, that’s going to be okay. So D number one is Do. D number two is Delay.

8:26
D number three is Delegate. These are things that are somewhat urgent, but not so important for you to be the one to do it specifically. So who can I ask or assign these to or hire or etc. Okay, if you’re thinking about this from a daily perspective, right, what is something on your to-do list that you might be able to have your kids do or something that they might come to you and ask you for or ask you to do that they can actually go ahead and do on their own. This is one of those things I experienced today. I actually took a break from work, went up to the house to the bathroom, and fill my water bottle and a snack. And my son who has a babysitter there insisted on coming to me to tell me that he was hungry. We’ll go tell your babysitter then; that’s what she’s here for.

9:21
But I was also able to while I was making myself a piece of toast and jam he decided he wanted peanut butter jelly. Okay fine, I’ll just pull the peanut butter out, pull his little plastic knife out, give him two pieces of bread, and he can make his own peanut butter and jelly at not even three years old. So delegation is something that can totally, totally, totally be done. I say totally, totally, totally. Because I think a lot of us moms are like, well, it’ll just be done right if I do it, or, we definitely want to step in at times and take on the responsibility and take on those roles, or we can carry these expectations for ourselves to do all things. But delegation is not a bad thing. I also delegate a lot of things to my husband because we’re in this together, right? We’re a team. We are one flesh, especially if it’s things pertaining to our home, or the children or family, and whatever else. So Delegate, a really, really important one.

10:17
So D number one is Do. D number two is Delay. D number three is Delegate. D number four is Drop. These are unimportant and not urgent. Yet, for some reason, we constantly feel a need to carry them around. These things are not actually necessary and we don’t need to do them. They can be removed from our mind space and our to-do list, so I strongly encourage you to lean into your to-do list today, or your to-do list this week, and categorize it, highlight it, color code it, whatever your fancy, put it down on paper, or write it on your iPad or put it in an app like workflowy or something.

11:03
Don’t let it just swirl around in your head because it’s very, very difficult to do this process, to do these things when you’re just thinking about it, right? We have to get it out of our brains. Put your whole to-do list in an app, on a piece of paper, wherever else, and then work it through these four D’s to find out what you need to do, what you can delay, what you can delegate, and what you really just need to drop, Sister. Alright, I hope this episode blessed you. I hope you have a wonderful week, but I know I will see you in the 10 powerful hacks workshop that we have coming up tomorrow.

More about your Podcast Host

Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Abundant Life Podcast.

Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Abundant Life Podcast.

Would you benefit from having a coach helping you live Productively Peaceful days digging into Faithful Foundations, Purposeful Priorities, Mindset Mastery, & Simple Selfcare? This question is rhetorical, everyone would! Schedule a consult with Sasha to learn more about the IAM Coaching Program and to see if you’d be a good it. https://calendly.com/intentionalabundanceco/iamconsult

Desiring Community?

You’re invited to join us in the Productively Peaceful Moms Club over on facebook! It’s a safe space where we can show up vulnerably and encourage each other, where ere share the mission of being the best mommas we can be through the grace and strength of Jesus Christ, where we encourage consistency and are able to hold each other accountable. We share scripture and talk about podcast episodes and pray for each other and set goals and so much more! You’re more than welcome here, you’re wanted here! https://www.facebook.com/groups/IntentionalAbundance

080: Practical & Tactical Steps to Rising with Intention with Robbie Robertson

Summary

In this episode Sasha brings back a favorite recurring guest on the show, her husband, Robbie, as they talk about rising with intention.

Robbie is a natural ‘morning person’, drilling in over a decade of military experience, his intentional actions and habits have created a powerful morning routine that we can all learn from. But, don’t let that scare you away… even Sasha, the ‘sleep marathon’ ‘night owl’ has been able to adopt many of his practical and tactical habits and routines to create a very impactful and intentional way to being her days.

Recurring Special Guest, and Sasha's Husband, Robert Robertson is back on the podcast to share about practical and tactical steps to rise with intention.

Listen in to learn ways to set your future self up for success and establish your own routine to rise with intention every day.

Transcription

Sasha Star Robertson 0:02
Hey, hey sisters, and welcome back to another episode of the Intentional Abundant Life podcast. I’m your host Sasha Star Robertson and I know last month I joked about kicking my husband Robbie off of the podcast. And if you’re following along, you know that he actually wasn’t on his scheduled week last week. Funny story. We had it scheduled to record at a certain time during that time one day and the mapper decided he was not napping. Yay. The joys of parenting a toddler. But I wanted to give you some confidence and assurance that I’ve not kicked him off. He is here with us today. And we are talking about rising with intention. I shared recently on my social media, how my husband is the intentional abundance Father, to my intentional abundant motherhood, and I’ve learned so much from him and he’s got, you know, decades of experience in this intentional living. And so today we’re bringing to you how to rise with intention on the daily.

Sasha Star Robertson 2:04
Jingle

Sasha Star Robertson 2:17
All right, so here we are. Welcome back, Robbie.

Robbie Robertson 2:20
Hey, Sasha. Hello, everybody. How are y’all doing today? Oh, that’s really good to hear. I’ve been watching too much toddler TV.

Sasha Star Robertson 2:28
Too much Blippi. Ask questions and talkback,

Robbie Robertson 2:32
Can you spell my name? Great job!

Sasha Star Robertson 2:34
Okay, so we’re talking about rising with intention. And I’m super excited about this because I know you have so much to add to this conversation. And so it started out because we’re kind of entering into the season where, on the podcast, where we’re talking about scheduling and how to live with intention, like practical and tactical steps of how to live this productively peaceful, intentionally abundant life. And Robbie comes from a military family, military background, we actually met when he was on active duty in the Air Force. And I think some of it was kind of I don’t want to say beaten but drilled into you right, by your drill sergeants. Basic. Conditioned. Yeah, right. I think it’s like the only place where like, I don’t know, brainwashing and like manipulation and stuff like that is like, you get promotions for that kind of behavoir.

Robbie Robertson 3:39
They just cause you to think in a certain way. And that way is rewarded, the better you think that way. And for one thing, it’s pretty effective because it can lead to healthier lifestyles. And it also leads to us being the most dominant country in the entire world. I’m not going to get on that particular soapbox right now. Let’s just say that we’re the top dog and it starts with the mindset. A warrior’s most powerful weapon is his mind.

Sasha Star Robertson 4:13
Yeah. And I think it’s a mindset that, like I’m talking about, it’s almost like drilled into you, but at the same time it’s been really rewarding to see. And I’ll tell you, I was like the most unintentional, like lacking mindset, lacking self-control, like deranged, almost wild person when I met you, and I think that was one of the reasons you were attracted to me hahaha so I don’t know if deranged…

Robbie Robertson 4:41
You were feral in the morning I’ll be honest.

Sasha Star Robertson 4:44
And I’ve learned so much from Robbie. So I pointed out to him a few things that I just really love and admire about his lifestyle and things that he’s just naturally done that I’ve observed and then picked up on and now do. And so take it away, tell us how do you rise with intention?

Robbie Robertson 5:05
Well, first off, I love that term you used practical and tactical I’m going to definitely adopt that and utilize that into my everyday verbiage because that’s, it’s awesome. I mean it rhymes but it also is very, it’s very appropriate for how you’re supposed to address the morning so I for one, I’m a morning person,

Sasha Star Robertson 5:26
Can I interrupt you there because we’ve just changed the title to the episode? It’s practical and tactical ways to rise with intention.

Robbie Robertson 5:33
Practical and tactical ways to rise with intention. Fabulous, fantastic.

Sasha Star Robertson 5:37
So, you’re a morning person.

Robbie Robertson 5:38
I’m a morning person.

Sasha Star Robertson 5:39
I wasn’t.

Robbie Robertson 5:40
You were not, No, you’ve actually adopted the mornings. I feel like Bane. You’ve only just come to know the morning. I was born to it. My grandmother was also a morning person, and that was something that she and I shared. This is a little bit of backstory, but we had a routine in the morning. And I think that is going to be the core of what I’m going to say here is establishing a good morning routine. This happened for me back in high school. Now my mother, bless her soul, is anything but a morning person. She will rise joyfully at the crack of noon. That is, anytime before eight o’clock doesn’t really exist for her, and I don’t think it ever has. But my grandmother and I, different story.

Robbie Robertson 6:23
So she would rise around 4:30 or 5 o’clock in the morning and she would wait for the newspaper to hit the front door. She would read Harlequin novels which I did not realize were softcore pornography until I was much older. It’s true. She would just read those in her chair, drinking a cup of coffee as I would rise, I would go take my shower, get myself, you know teeth brushed and everything, come downstairs, make a bowl of cereal, I’d collect the paper, she would read her section, I would read my section, which was almost always the comics. And we would have the channel 10 news on very low in the morning and it would play. And that was just how our morning started and we both would be out the door. We would be bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and ready for the day because we had peace, we had quiet, and we had time for ourselves to get our mindset where it needed to be in order to start the day. And there was no such thing as a Monday syndrome with us.

Robbie Robertson 7:21
Now after getting into the military, like Sasha had said this really drilled down a lot of things like, there are deliverables that you need to achieve and you need to achieve them right away. Days start quickly and they start efficiently because you don’t have a lot of time, especially in training. Training is very, very deliberate and every minute of your day is calculated. When they are only issuing you four to eight minutes at a time to eat, three times a day, you really understand the complexity of just what time scarcity looks like.

Robbie Robertson 7:53
So after I’d gotten out of training and into my normal routine of being in the operation Air Force, I began to adopt a lot of healthy habits, amongst all the unhealthy ones, where I recognized from the night before that I had a fully awake, alert mind that was able and capable to figure out what I wanted to do the next day, what I want to be prepared for. So I would lay my clothes out, I would lay my lunch out, I would put my keys, my wallet, all of my necessary items, my pocket items, if you will, they were in a very deliberate place, and when I went to bed at night, I went to bed with a peace of knowing that I didn’t need to worry about what was happening the next morning.

Robbie Robertson 8:38
And what that did is it created a space where my groggy brain didn’t have to worry about something I’d miss or forget. It also built in a measure of grace for, I missed the alarm, or hit the snooze button too many times. If I did end up putting myself in a lag measure, I wasn’t chasing the morning. I was just soaking up that grace right away. And I was able to get out the door. And to our lives that we have now outside of the military, I still like to do this, and I really appreciate that you have opted into this too because now you and I, as a couple, get this intentional time in our mornings, waking up 4:30 – which is an ungodly time of day – to state our intentions for the day to each other, which is a great way to rise and get your mindset right. And then we also pray together, which couple that prays together stays together.

Robbie Robertson 9:35
It shows us that we are on each other’s heart and that we don’t want to take the day that we have for granted. And when you really kind of grab the day early like that with a good mindset, you find that you have a much longer day to work with. And you don’t find yourself running quite as out of time as you used to. Beautiful days can be taken advantage of. And not so great days. You can find time for cozying up on the couch because you were intentional right at the beginning..

Sasha Star Robertson 10:10
Yeah, I love that. I know some of you might be thinking like I was, you know, over a decade ago at the very beginning of all this. Yeah. But Robbie, you even said you’re a morning person. I’m not right? We talked about this. Like, I am the exception a couple of weeks ago on the podcast. You’re a morning person. I’m not. You have had these kinds of habits almost ingrained. They’re like natural giftings of yours since childhood that were enforced by the military, that, of course, they’ve come into your life now just so naturally. And so for any of you who may be thinking that, yeah, but it’s not going to work for me. I want to encourage you back at the beginning of the episode, how much, you know, my husband said I was quite feral in the mornings.

Sasha Star Robertson 10:55
I, like growing up, my mom and dad can slip through a freight train. When you when we were stationed in England, somebody bought me this little plaque that I still have in our bedroom that says marathon sleeper because if there’s anything that I could do, and probably get an award for, it would be sleeping because I can sleep in. I can sleep through a lot of stuff sometimes, like, early stages of motherhood definitely caused me to have a lot more broken sleep. But the college that I went to, the university, our mascot was the night owls, I am not by textbook definition, a morning person. In fact, Robbie used to make me coffee every morning when I would get up, or whatever, he would always make me a cup of coffee, whether it was a coffee pot, he would pour it for me, or when we had the Keurig he would like make me my coffee. And I always thought it was this like act of love…

Robbie Robertson 11:53
It is.

Sasha Star Robertson 11:56
…until I did this program and sort of drinking these, you know, vitamin water type drinks with caffeine that would wake me up and kind of broke this coffee addiction where I would meet like four or five cups of coffee a day. And that’s when Robbie revealed to me that yeah, he didn’t make me coffee in the morning because he loved me. He made it because he was scared of me before my first cup of coffee. And it’s like whoa, I’ve got problems. You know that was like my glaring takeaway from that. So all that to say, I do not naturally, in my own skills and giftings, carry these traits in these you know intentional acts right it’s something that I have over the years like picked up on and learned and seen the massive amount of like fruits and benefits in my life on account of these switches and these shifts.

Sasha Star Robertson 12:49
And so I just want to encourage you that no matter how far off the mark you are, some of these things can be really, really helpful not just for you but also you know, in thinking about your kids and, and other things like that.

Sasha Star Robertson 13:03
So some of the things that Robbie pointed out were, you know, the night before he will set out his clothes for the next day. I have picked up on this. I have started doing this. Whatever I’m going to wear the next day, whether I have to get up for coaching calls or an appointment somewhere else or I’m just getting up to hang out with my son, I always know exactly what I’m going to be putting on the moment I roll out of bed. They’re either on a little hook in my room or they’re on the countertop in the bathroom and that’s dependent on you know where I’m going to be getting dressed because some days Robbie’s home and he’s sleeping, and I don’t want to flip on lights. I used to.

Sasha Star Robertson 13:46
I used to be so inconsiderate that I would wake up and just turn on the light and look for something and then make all kinds of noise and turn the light off and walk out. And it’s like, Man, I cannot even believe I was so obtuse and I’m sorry for all of those days that I did that. But if he’s still sleeping, of course, I’m going to put my clothes in the bathroom, where I’m gonna go be able to turn on the light without disturbing him, get dressed, and then begin my day.

Sasha Star Robertson 14:11
Another thing he talked about is, you know, sometimes we’ll prep the coffee pot, so all you have to do is turn it on, or we’ll make sure the Keurig is ready and the timer is set to go off.

Robbie Robertson 14:21
That is the best!

Sasha Star Robertson 14:23
Or recently I’ve been making cold brew. And so it’s just you literally just have to like pour the cold brew. And so these really simple steps that you can do before you go to bed, making sure everything is ready for you. And then here’s another thing, he talked about making sure I think your keys and you know what you’re taking for lunch the next day on your lunch pail is right there like ready for your lunch to go inside. For me, I’m a stay-at-home mom, I work from home, I do go down to another external building on our property to work but I make sure my keys are out of my purse sitting right there with my iPad that I know I’m going to need, you know, to take notes and serve my clients. And, you know, if I’m doing Bible study meetings down there, I’m going to make sure that I have the book or the Bible study or my Bible all right there by the door ready to go. And all of these things, just taking a few moments beforehand to set yourself up for success can be so empowering for you and the rest of your day.

Sasha Star Robertson 15:26
You talked about you know some of the things we do together as a couple in getting our day started and so we do this four days a week on Robbie’s work days. We get up – I didn’t realize it was so similar of a time to your grandmother – between 4:30 and five o’clock and like he gets ready for his day, I’ll you know make or strain the coffee or you know, get myself dressed or whatever else. And one of the first things that we do is sit down together to pray and state our intentions.

Sasha Star Robertson 15:56
So I talked about this in the episode that just came out prior to this about four ways that you can really set your day up for success and prioritize your day. And stating those intentions and praying over your days were two of those. So go back to that episode and listen to the rest because those are really really powerful things too. But kind of bringing this back is like what can you do now to set your future self up for success, whether that’s the you later today, the you in the morning, or the you next week, and then when you get to that space, trusting your past self knew what they were doing. And then just sticking to the plan.

Robbie Robertson 16:46
Sticking to that plan is, it can be challenging, there is great fruit to be had from trusting your former self, your yesterday self, and taking care of your tomorrow self. The way that I had kind of equated this, we were talking about this a little bit earlier, is: Think of yourself as a princess. And I’ll let you fantasize about that for a couple of seconds and the tiara and beautiful dresses and whatever else, maybe turning stuff to ice with your hands if you’re that kind of Princess. I don’t know if they exist, I’m just saying they’re out there. Imagine what princesses get in the morning. They get somebody that is a servant that helps them. If you’ve ever seen Downton Abbey you kind of have the idea of this. There’s somebody to help you get dressed. There’s somebody that hands you a cup of coffee, hands you your newspaper, somebody that gives you all of the things that you need. You have a servant of some sort that is taking care of all of these brain power things for you.

Robbie Robertson 17:46
Now realize that you are an everyday lady, you don’t have the luxury of a servant unless you are the servant that serves yourself. So make the night version of you the very best servant that the morning version of you could ever hope to want. And when you wake up in the morning, show that night servant deep gratitude and appreciation. Thank her for what she has done for you, and that will be a lot easier for you to kind of keep this going as an everyday thing. You don’t have to do all the things in one day, you don’t even have to do the things that we’re suggesting. Whatever works for you is what’s going to work for you, but take care of your own princess.

Robbie Robertson 18:31
Another thing, you might be thinking to yourself, just kind of like Sasha had mentioned earlier, Well, I’m the exception. Well, yeah, I’m really not a morning person or there’s, there’s really no benefit to me waking up in the morning, I really don’t have anything to like wake up in the morning necessarily for. If you let those mindsets kind of rule your life, then you’re absolutely right. You’re never gonna wake up in the morning and you’re always going to find yourself chasing later on in the day. The best tool that you can find, the best weapon that you have, is accountability. If you have somebody that you can share this time with, a spouse, a sibling, a Bible study, a zoom call, where you’re going to be meeting with other people, something that rouses you, and keeps you accountable, somebody that you’re going to disappoint if your presence isn’t there. That’s going to make it 1000 times easier to adopt this as your new habit and your way of life.

Robbie Robertson 19:30
I noticed that recently l had shifted my work schedule going from my day shift to working on the swing shift. I worked on swings for six months, I was going to work at four in the afternoon. I was getting home just after three O’Clock in the morning and getting asleep. And in that time, Sasha’s time of waking up at 4:30 and having intentional time and doing the things that she did, taking care of Princess Sasha with cups of coffee and baths and things that help her get herself to where she wants to be first thing in the morning, those started kind of falling to the wayside and I felt partially responsible for that because I’ve heard accountability. I’m her accountabilibuddy. Thank you, Robbie Burns, a guy I used to work with. That’s his quoted term.

Robbie Robertson 20:23
Without that accountability person there, it’s a lot easier for us to give ourselves unnecessary grace. It’s a lot easier for us to give ourselves the pass. I’ll just sleep in today. I just won’t get up this time. And then today turns into today, tomorrow, and then today, tomorrow turns into next week. And next thing you know, you’ve completely shattered this habit, because you’ve just been doing what feels good at that exact moment. So the best tool you could find to start is to find somebody to start with. And there’s a saying that misery shared his misery halved and joy shared is joy doubled. So when you have somebody else to do this with, the best parts of it are even better. And the worst part of it, you hardly even notice them.

Sasha Star Robertson 21:13
Right. When you were talking, I was just thinking about that quote, you know, you are the culmination of the five people that you hang out with most. And that was just really glaring to me because I think about this and that accountabilibuddy, that person that you are willing to bring into that space of helping you be your best and most intentional self, whether that’s somebody that you’re meeting with in the mornings via zoom, whether it’s your spouse, whether it’s a friend or a sibling, whether it’s a coach that you hire, you know, to come into that community with you and bring it into a text chat or whatever else. Like, make sure it’s somebody that you admire somebody that maybe even like, is it is a step or two ahead of you in this area. Make sure it’s somebody that is going to help rise you to your better and best self and somebody that is really going to be a very powerful presence in your life as one of those five.

Sasha Star Robertson 22:20
Well, I think that’s all we have for you all today. I thank you so much for taking the time to listen in on this. I hope that you have some very tactical and practical examples and inspiration for moving forward with rising with intention. God bless.

More about your Podcast Host

Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Abundant Life Podcast.

Sasha Star Robertson is an Intentional Living & Biblical Mindset Coach for busy Christian moms, wife of 13 years to her best friend, boy mom (blessed by adoption), travel addict, and Jesus freak. She is the founder of The Intentional Abundance Co., curator of the Life & Goals Planner, & host of the Intentional Abundant Life Podcast.

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